Making Some Changes

Thanks to those of you who commented positively on my last depression post. I'm still really struggling with this but have decided to take baby steps to try and feel better. I'm going to give myself 3 months, (one quarter of a year) to get back to my old self and then if there is no change before Thanksgiving I'm going to see a doctor.

So, the first step is to be awake more during the day. For the past couple of weeks I've been coming home from work, and staying up until about 2pm, and then sleeping until it's time to get ready for work, it's just not working for me. I remember that I felt slightly better when I was splitting my sleeping time between early morning and late afternoon, so now I'm going to try to get to bed as soon as I get home about 9:30am, let myself sleep for maybe 4 hours and then get up for awhile. I can then head back to bed and take a nap at about 6pm to get my 8 hours in. I'm also going to try to start getting up early enough to put on a little make up before I head to work. I've never been a real fan of makeup, and never really needed it, but I feel like my skin tone has gotten a little splotchy, besides I need to make more of an effort on how I look and I'm not up to getting up early enough to wash and blowdry my hair every day like I used to yet. That may be the next step...

In other news, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I woke up with my arms hurting, well last week both of them hurt for a couple of days, enough that I took some pain medication, {which I never do}. I blamed it on trying to scratch the hard to reach part of my back while laying in bed...I end up with my arm all bent backwards and resting my full weight on it which I thought was maybe stretching out the tendons and stuff...but today it's hurting again, so I'm going to go with the theory that it's a repetative stress injury from sleeping with my shoulder joint all stretched out and flattened under my head and pillows. I'm going to try to sleep differently for a couple of days and see what happens.

So...that's the update.

Be On the Lookout.

I've been feeling a little sad...and a little lonely for the person that I was a couple of years ago. I used to be really confident, and fun and well dressed among other things. And now...I'm just not.
I'm sort of anxious all the time and paranoid and there is no confidence left in me. Not a trace. Not a drop. It's very depressing. The fun Susan went right out the window with Confident Susan. I think they followed Well-Dressed Susan, she's been missing for a long time.

Here's the deal. I used to work at a place where I really felt like the people listened to me, and cared about me, and were interested in what I had to say. It mattered what I wore, because they were paying attention. I lived in an apartment that I loved, and I was able to go shopping on a regular basis. I didn't have a wildly active social life, but I did have a few friends that I knew I could count on. And I was really, really happy.

And then I moved.

I started a job where the boss was a jerk, the people were psycho territorial and paranoid, and they couldn't have cared less about what I thought, or how I felt. They were however, rather obsessed about what I wore, and since it was never quite right, I quit after only a couple of days working there. I had a boyfriend who I loved, and everything was great in my love-life for once, but everything else was really not great. I got another job, but the people were still rather apathetic about my existence and I didn't have any friends. Then I got another job, and the people there were sort of openly hostile, and 7 months later it all sort of went up in flames. During that time, I completely forgot who I was...who I am...and I don't know how to get myself back.

I suspect that it will start with finding Well-Dressed Susan again. She must be out there somewhere...perhaps hiding underneath all the cargo pants and tanks tops.

*sigh* At least I got to keep the guy.

Anyway, if you see Well-Dressed, Confident or Fun Susan running around somewhere please send her home. Thanks.

Poor Little Dog!

So, our initial attempt at parenting, with our beagle mix, Maybe has been going well. We have now been proud poochie parents for 6 months and no one has died or lost any limbs. However, today I was walking Maybe and she got a sticker in her foot, which isn't unusual, considering that our front yard is a jungle. We stopped for a minute and I looked and couldn't see anything, so I figured that she had managed to get it out herself and we headed into the house. She continued to paw at her nose, so I grabbed her and couldn't find a sticker in her foot, but upon closer inspection found that in removing the sticker from her foot, she had gotten it stuck deeply in the roof of her mouth just behind her front teeth. Can you even imagine how much this hurt!? No wonder she didn't want clumsy me to mess with it! I did manage to get it out with my trusty eyebrow tweezers,(with Justin holding her down) but it still left a mean looking hole. Poor little Maybe!! Here's a picture of our happy baby:

The Recipe Meme

I stole this from Annabel, it's a very good idea...

Susan's Poppyseed Chicken

You will need:

3 Cups Minute rice
1 Can Chicken Broth
16 Oz French Onion Dip (2 small containers or about 2/3 of a big container)
1 Large can Cream of Chicken Soup
2 Cups Grated Cheddar Cheese
1 Box Cheez-Its (Or whatever cheddar cracker you like)
2 tablespoons Poppyseeds
Some kind of Non-Stick, butter flavored, Spray

Then you do this stuff:

Preheat Oven to 350
Find a 9 x 13 baking pan
Spray it with non-stick
Crush up the box of Cheeze-Its and spread about 1/3 of them on the bottom in a thin layer
Spread 3 cups of non-cooked minute rice evenly on bottom of pan
Cover with Chicken Broth, so that all rice is moist
In a large mixing bowl, combine French Onion Dip, Cream of Chicken Soup, Canned Chicken and Poppyseeds
Pour that mixture over the rice/cheeze-its
Cover with shredded cheese
Add a top layer of cheeze-its
Optional: Spray lightly with the non stick spray on top, (it makes it shiny when it cooks)

Bake for 15-20 minutes at 350. Just until the top is bubbly. Everything in it is already cooked so you're just looking to make it hot.

Serve with a side salad


Everyone I've ever made this for really loves it, but dieters beware!! It has like a zillion calories (I think, we have't actually counted). So worth it.

So now post yours, and let me know if you do so I can go look!

Oohs and Ahhs All Around.

Everyone should pay attention to my new plucked petal header. It took me 2 hours to make it look like that so be impressed dang-it!

Neat-O

I found a cool site that lets you turn pictures into these little polaroid-like posty things. Neat-o!
Image created at MySpace Layouts

Oh Look! An Actual Post...Sort Of.

In an effort to get healthy, get out of the house, and perhaps lose some weight, I agreed to go walking with my aunt in the evenings at 7 o'clock or so and have managed to do it exactly once before injuring myself. I sort of tripped down a curb and ran into a fire hydrant yesterday evening on our way to the post office. I know that sounds like minimal damage, and it really should have been...I didn't even hit the ground but it sort of...I don't know exactly, squeezed my knee. So, now I have a massive purple bruise (about 2.5 inches in a circle) next to my kneecap. I think it continues down under my kneecap too because it hurts to walk, and if I move in the wrong way, it sends little pain waves up into my thigh and down to my ankle. And it's swollen and really really ugly. So, I'm taking a break from the dangerous art of walking today to let my knee rest and then we'll try again tomorrow. I would take a picture of it, but it's really gross, so I'll spare you the drama.

Here's a Meme to Tide You Over.

20 Firsts


1. Who was your first love? Um...my first crush was Adam Jackson in first grade, but he didn't like me so I don't know if it counts as first love.

2. Who was your first kiss and when? Ben Wright, Kindergarten

3. Who was your first prom date? Beau Bayer

4. Who was your first room mate? My Nan

5. What was your first job? United Supermarket

7.When did you go to your first funeral? My grandfather, I think 1994 but I don't remember exactly

8. What was your first car? Blue Nissan Stanza

9. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 20 to Canyon

10. Who was your first grade teacher? Ms Ivey

11. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? I have no idea. Maybe Austin

13. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with?
Not counting proms, I never really had a date until after high school. It was with some guy named Jason. We went to Taco Cabana, where I didn't eat and then...maybe to a movie?

14. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I never snuck out of the house.

15. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them? Elizabeth Bolden...I wouldn't say we're friends, but I still hear from her occasionally

16. Who was the first person to send you flowers?
A late bloomer on this too, Josh Samsel sent flowers to me and someone else when we did Gypsy, I think...or maybe The Miracle Worker. Some play.

17. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? 815 North Denver, Levelland.

18. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I talk to Justin first, then sometimes I email Patrick.

19. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? My step-sister, D'Liesa

20. What is the first thing you when you wake up? Brush my teeth and walk the dog.

And Now: The Meme You've All Been Waiting For

So here's another meme. This one stolen from Jennifer, very early this morning.

9 Lasts....

1. Last place you were: The sofa.
2. Last drug used: Lactaid with dinner at 4am
3. Last beverage: Water
4. Last kiss: Sometime in the last few hours.
5. Last movie seen: Little Black Book
6. Last phone call: I talked with my brother almost 24 hours ago.
7. Last CD played: I don't even remember.
8. Last bubble bath: Bubbles make me itch.
9. Last time you cried: Hm... I don't know. Maybe a week.

8 Have You Evers.....

1. Have you ever dated someone twice?: I prefer to think of it as "continuing education"
2. Have you ever been cheated on?: Not that I know of.
3. Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it?: Uh...yeah.
4. Have you ever fallen in love?: Why is this question always here? Is there anyone who says no?
5. Have you ever lost someone?: Of course.
6. Have you ever been depressed?: Frequently, I'm quite good at it.
7. Have you ever been out of the country?: Yup.
8. Have you ever been on T.V?: I don't think so.

7 States that you have been to:

1. New Mexico
2. Oklahoma
3. Alabama
4. California
5. New York
6. Arizona
7. Washington.

6 Things You Have Done Today....

1. Went to Wal-Mart
   
2. Washed Dishes
   
3. Slept
4. Watched Monk and Psych (haha, I typed that and looked down and it was the same answer that Jen had before.)
5. Microwaved Sugar Snap Peas
   
6. Made cookies
   

5 Favorite Things....

1. Justin
2. Maybe
3. Hard, sharp cheeses
   
4. Books
   
5. New panties

4 People You Can Tell Almost Anything....

1. Justin
   
2. Tommye
   
3. Maybe
   
4. My blog readers

3 Favorite Colors

1. Green
2. Pink
3. Navy
   

2 Things You Want To Do Before You Die....

1. Go on a Cruise
2. Get really skinny

1 Thing You Regret.....

1. Moving away from Canyon.

Yawn...Stretch

So, I've been sleeping really well, the new night time routine seems to agree with me, and I'm feeling much less stress in general. However, last night {this afternoon} I just could not seem to get my pillows right. I tossed and turned for 8 hours or so and then gave up. My neck is killing me, so I might have to take a nap later. {I get really tired when something hurts for very long.} However, our never ending weekends allow for such luxuries. I always start to freak out on Friday evenings because I think I have to go to work, but Ha! We're still off 'til tomorrow at midnight!

In other news, a friend sent a link to this website...why oh why would you want to make your kid look like this?? Patrick and Tiffany, if I catch you photoshopping Bronte like this, we may have to have words....bleh.

200th Post.

This is my 200th blog post!

I wish that I had something more interesting to say here... Had I known before now, I would have come better prepared.

Instead of coming home and going straight to bed after work as is my usual routine, I stayed up, and my dad came and got me and we turned around and headed back to Lubbock. We had to go to the social security office to:
A. Finally turn in the paperwork for my name change. I really was just going to mail the stuff off, but they wanted my original marriage license, and I just didn't trust them to really mail it back to me.
B. Have a meeting with a caseworker about getting Stacy, my younger sister, on social security disability.

So, we got there, and there is a security guard arguing with a very old woman about what she can and cannot use to prove her identity in order to receive a new social security card. Hers was lost or stolen or something. He spoke in this incredibly annoying, overly patient tone of voice, {something that I, personally, could never master}, and managed to say the same thing about 20 times over. It was painfully clear that she wasn't getting it, but instead of changing his wording, or just giving her a list of acceptable documents he just kept saying the same words. It was maddening. Ten minutes later she left.

Then it was our turn. My dad and Stacy had a real appointment so they typed Stacy's social security number into the computer...and it promptly informed us that her appointment had actually been yesterday. Ookaaay... We take numbers and wait to be called. My dad is super frustrated at having gotten the date wrong. He could have sworn that it was the same day as his doctor's appointment, which was later this afternoon. Oh well...We waited for about 20 minutes, and they called me. I got my paperwork done very quickly, so I officially have a new addition to my last name, without a freakin' hyphen I might add. A ccouple of minutes later my dad and Stacy were called and the girl just made them a new appointment.

Then we left and ate at Dimbas, which is a fried food restaurant. {I think it's actually "Southern Cuisine" or something, but who are they kidding?} I had a couple of chicken strips and then we came home.

After narrowly avoiding several collisions we made it home and I got to bed at almost 1:00. So, naturally, I slept until 9:45 this evening and now I feel all out of whack. Hopefully, since we're off tomorrow {tonight} I can fix my sleep schedule without too much trouble.

Ok, it's time to watch some girly TV before Justin wakes up.

Job Posting

WANTED: Best friend for 25 year old new wife.

The job description includes the following: Must be an experienced shopper, entertainer, and amateur personal therapist. Also, must drive, listen to complaints about husband without actually criticizing him, and like to eat out.

Candidate must be comfortable around cute dogs, and must be willing to use bjore nose strips so that I can examine them when they are done.

Candidate must not have strong desires to visit SeaWorld, The State Aquarium, or the fish section at PetSmart.

Pay rate: lifetime supply of friendship, occasional home made cookies, and great gifts on holidays, birthdays, and after vacations to exotic locales.

Starting date: Immediatly

Apply in person or online by commenting on this post. All applications will be considered.

Wedding Pictures!

I have a new blog. It only has one post, and will only ever have one post probably, but it's all of our wedding pictures...so if you want to see them go look.

The Sweetest of Plums

So I'm Bored... Sue me.

1. Do you like chinese food?
Mmh oh yes, but not Chinese Buffet's. That's gross.

2. How big is your bed?
Queen. Not big enough for me and Justin though, because I like to sleep diagonally.

3. Is your room clean?
There is Laundry EVERYWHERE.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Desktop.

5. Favorite comedian?
Caroline Rhea

6. Do you smoke?
No. Cigarettes are even grosser than the Chinese Buffet.

7. Does anyone like you?
Sometimes I wonder...

8. What’s the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
Probably that among the current administration, she seems the least amount of crazy.

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
Just panties

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
Nobody. I'm not really a share-er

12. Do long distance relationships work?
Worked for me...but only for a short time, I don't think that it would have worked long term. Thank goodness for U-Haul.

13. Pancakes or French Toast?
Mmmh French toast. With bacon...and Eggs. Ok I'm hungry.

14. Do you like coffee?
No, and I don't like anything that tastes like coffee...especially those deceptive jelly beans.

15. How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled with ketchup.

16. Do you believe in astrology?
Oh I dunno, I like the stories behind the constellations, but I guess thats Mythology and not Astrology. I'm more likely to read tarot cards.

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Oh...hmm It's been awhile.

19. Last person on your missed call list?
Unavailable... We're great friends. perhaps we should get together soon...

20. What was the last text message you received?
hahaha Like I'm that cool.

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds

22. Number of pillows?
I start out with 6 and work my way down as I thrash.

23. Last thing you ate?
Cocoa Pebbles

24. Last thing you bought?
Two breakfast burritos

25. What are you hearing right now?
A documentary about samurai's on the History channel

26. Pick a lyric?
"Who put the bop in the bop sha bop du bop..."

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Blackberry Jam, not Jelly...this time I accidentally bought preserves.

28. Can you play pool?
Heck Yeah, although it's a little phallic for me.

29. Do you know how to swim?
Yes, but I do not like to be wet.

30. Favorite ice cream?
Ben and Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio

31. Do you like maps?
Um...it depends. I like them as decor...I do not like them as instructions. too bossy.

32. Tell me a random fact:
I found some brand new panties on my floor today, tag still on. It was like going to Disney Land.

33. Ever had a hard on at work?
I don't think this is applicable to me, but if you ask, I'll tell you a really embarassing story about a bathroom at the Randall County Courthouse.

34. Ever attend a theme party?
Uh, I was a theatre major, what do you think?

35. Ever do a keg stand?
Nope.

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
I usually manage to make it back to my own bed

37. What is your favorite season?
Spring, singin in the rain and all that.

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
To be honest, I haven't seen many and I don't remember.

39. Pick a movie quote:
Ok, wait I have two:

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
-Casablanca

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
-A Streetcar Named Desire

40. A Favorite quote:
From Dogma:
What He (God) really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.


41. What is your favorite Thirsty Thursday hangout?
I don't know what this means.

42. Best friend's name?
Justin

43. How long have you known them?
3 years

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
A couple of hours ago I was having a throw down with our dog...that made me laugh, and was stupid, so there ya go.

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
I woke up at 5 o'clock this afternoon. We're on a night schedule.

46. Wake up next to anyone?
Nope.

47. Best thing about winter?
Not having to run the air conditioner

48. Name a couple of favorite colors:
Green, Pink, Chocolate

49. How old are you?
25

50. What month is your birthday in?
May

51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Yay pirates! especially the ones that look like Johnny Depp

52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one?)
Crash, I think this is the only Dave Matthews Band song that most people can name off the top of their heads. How unfortunate.

53. What are you doing this weekend?
I have no idea. So far, this. And TV

54. Who will take this survey?
Oh...probably Jennifer

And the fun just goes on and on!

Layers....

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Susanlee Bell Brinkley
--Birthplace: Lubbock, Texas
-- Current Location: Levelland, Texas

LAYER TWO:
-- Eye Color: green
-- Hair Color: Dark brown, with a streak of gray, until I get paid.
-- Height: 5'6"
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Taurus
-- Your Heritage: Irish/Dutch
-- The Shoes Worn Today: Black Old Navy Flip Flops
-- Your Weakness: Expensive Cheese
-- Your Fears: Sharks, Fish, Water...Most things wet, actually. And I'm terrified of rolling my ankle.
-- Your Perfect Pizza? Thin crust, easy sauce, hamburger, black olives, green olives, bell peppers
-- Goal You'd Like to Achieve: To figure out the goal that I want to achieve.

LAYER THREE:
-- Your Thoughts First Waking Up: why is it so freaking hot??
-- Your Bedtime: 9:30 AM
-- Your Most Missed Memory: I miss having friends. We can't really miss memories unless we lose our memory...and then we wouldn't really remember it. This is a hard question.

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: diet pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: De Ja Vu
-- Single or Group Dates: Single, as there are no friends...
-- Adidas or Nike: um... sandals.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: None of the Above.
-- Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or Coffee: Chai

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: still no. Who wrote this thing? Phillip Morris?
-- Cuss: sort of, I really only use the F word.
-- Sing: yeah, but not in front of people anymore.
-- Shower Everyday: We only have this horrible bathtub
-- Have a Crush: married him.
-- Want to go to College? I'll probably do some more of that soon.
-- Like(d) High School: Yup.
-- Want to get Married: got it.
-- Believe in Yourself: Well, I do believe that I exist, I don't know how much that's worth though.
-- Get Motion Sickness: sometimes
-- Think You're Attractive: nah.
-- Think You're a Health Freak: I wish
-- Get Along with Your Parent(s): generally
-- Like Thunderstorms: I like thunder and clouds. I do not like rain.
-- Play an Instrument: I used to be able to play the harp, and the clarinet but I don't think I could do it now.

LAYER SIX:
in the past month...
-- Drank Alcohol:We played drunk scrabble a couple of weeks ago
-- Smoked: Yeah, I actually just started about 15 seconds ago. This was a persuasive meme...bleh.
-- Done a Drug: Birth control...is that a drug you "do"?
-- Had Sex: perhaps...
-- Made Out: yes
-- Gone on a Date: yes
-- Gone to the Mall: no, and I can't believe that's true. I used to go like every other day.
-- Eaten an Entire Box of Oreos: no
-- Been on Stage: I wish.
-- Been Dumped: No, thank god.
-- Gone Skating: That is an ankle rolling hazard!!
-- Made Homemade Cookies: yesterday. and they were yummmo
-- Gone Skinnydipping: what is it with you people and water??
-- Dyed Your Hair: um...it's probably been 2 months
-- Stolen Anything: Not recently

LAYER SEVEN:
Have you ever...
-- Played a Game that Required Removal of Clothing: of course I have, what is college for?
-- If so, was it Mixed Company: hello?? why would I play strip poker without someone i wanted to grope?
-- Been Trashed or Extremely Intoxicated: Not often
-- Been Caught "Doing Something": This could mean a lot of things. I'll say yes.
-- Been Called a Tease: No, I'm the other kind of girl.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age You Hope to be Married: I wanted to get married at 24, and missed it by exactly 2 weeks.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: zero
-- Describe Your Dream Wedding: Paid for.
-- What do youWant to be When You Grow Up: Right now, I'm leaning toward OR Tech...back to school again.
-- What Country Would You Most Like to Visit: I really want to go to Russia

LAYER NINE:

in a girl: (Whoever wrote this was obviously trying to find out something about her crush...high school girl maybe?)
-- Best Eye Color? brown
-- Best Hair Color? Some kind of dark
-- Short or Long hair: medium
-- Height: short
-- Best Articles of Clothing: Shiny
-- Best First Date Location: Indian food on the night the belly dancers are there
-- Best First Kiss Location: forehead.

LAYER TEN:
-- # Of Drugs Taken Illegally: Maybe 1, once.
-- # Of People I Could Trust With My Life: 2
-- # Of CDs That I Own: I have like 30...I know, this is a small number in todays music obsessed age.
-- # Of Piercings: down to 2
-- # Of Tattoos: also 2, I like things to be even
-- # Of Scars on my Body: I dunno, probably 5

LAYER ELEVEN
Last Person Who...
-- Slept in Your Bed? Me. Oh, did you mean someone else? Justin took a nap there last night.
-- Saw You Cry? Justin
-- Made You Cry? see above.
-- Spent the Night at Your House? Besides the people that live here all the time? Dustin.
-- You Shared a Drink With? Again, I'm not a share-er
-- You Went to the Movies With? Justin
-- You Went to the Mall With? Justin
-- Yelled at You? Justin. Developing a pattern here...
-- Sent You an Email? Tiffany

LAYER TWELVE
Have You Ever...
-- Said "I love you"? Yes.
-- Been to New York? Yes, I love New York. They should put that on a T-shirt.
-- Been to Georgia? I try to avoid the deep south.
-- California? I love San Francisco too...that doesn't make as good a t-shirt though.
-- Hawaii? No, and I really really want to go, all of a sudden
-- China? No
-- Canada? Yes. It was cold.
-- Danced Naked? Not in front of people!
-- Dreamed something really crazy and then happened the next day? Not the next day, but sometimes a few days later. This might be de ja vu, where your brain just tricks you though
-- Stalked Someone? I'm way too lazy for that sort of thing

LAYER THIRTEEN
Pick One...
-- Apples or Bananas? Apples
-- Red or Blue? Blue
-- Walmart or Kmart? Target
-- Math or English? English.
-- Radio or CD? radio--Too lazy to deal with cd's
-- Drawing or Painting? painting
-- High school or College? I actually liked both.

Survivors

Justin and I survived our first night shift. To be honest, it was actually not bad at all until about 6am and we started getting really tired. We were mostly really really slow...how many people really make phone calls between midnight and 8 30 am? Not many...but more than you'd expect. The weirdest one was when someone placed a call at 3am (their time) and said "good morning" to the very angry person that answered the phone... Social skills anyone?? Anyway, we got home about 9 15 and went straight to bed. I woke up at 2, which is only about 5 hours of sleep, but I'm going to try and take a nap around 7 or 8 ish...I just couldn't keep sleeping with the thousands of dirty dishes in the kitchen, so I got up and washed them...now I feel accomplished!

So that's the update

Circadian Rhythms, and Recipes

So we are officially switching over to our new shifts tonight, which means we'll be going to work at midnight...It's kind of disturbing because we haven't really had a day off this week because of the change. We went to work early yesterday morning, and have today, (which counts as a day off since midnight is technically Monday, but really, who do they think they're kidding?) Then we go to work at midnight. The thing is, since we worked early yesterday, I was tired and falling asleep by 1:00 am so now, at 9:37 this morning, I'm wide awake. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the night at this rate. I'm hoping to nap frequently today and maybe that'll keep me fueled...cross your fingers.

In other news, I have a great, super easy new recipe (It can easily be converted into vegitarian, Tiff.) So I'll put it here because I can finally cook something yummy and I want to share....

Rice Dressing:

3 Cups Minute Rice
1 Box, or 2 Cans Chicken Broth
2 Small Bell Peppers (any color, but I use a Red and a Green because it's pretty)
One medium/small yellow onion
1 Can Mushroom Stems and Pieces
1 Large Can Chicken Breast (Optional)
2-3 Cups of Velveeta Cheese, cut into squares
(or, 1 medium French Onion dip, if you avoid cheese, changes the taste, but its still creamy and yummy)
2 bags sliced Almonds
2 Cups, Grated Cheddar Cheese (Optional)
--------------------------------------------------------
Make the minute rice in the microwave, using the chicken broth instead of water. If it's not enough chicken broth to cover the rice, you can add a little water. It should microwave for about 4 minutes, 30 seconds depending on the microwave

While the rice is cooking, chop the onion and bell peppers, Sautee in a pan (we used Olive Oil but anything works) Until they start to carmelize and turn brown at the edges

Add the Can of Chicken (Optional) and the Can of Mushrooms (drained) and lower heat. (break up the chicken into smaller pieces, so its the consistency of Tuna)

Add The Velveeta to the rice, and microwave again until melted. (if you are using french onion dip, just stir it in, no need to microwave)

Toast the almonds, you can do this by pouring them out onto a plate and popping them in the microwave for 1 minute. (It keeps them from getting chewy in the casserole so this step is importatnt)

Stir all Rice, Vegitable mixture and Almonds together. (if you start out with the rice in a big enough bowl, you won't have as many dishes, and can just mix it in that one)

Pour everything into a 9 x 13 baking dish, glass or metal, doesn't matter, but DO NOT GREASE

Top with 2 cups of grated cheddar cheese (Optional, but good)

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes, until the Cheese melts and it's a uniform temperature.

Eat.

(Note: this can be frozen, and does taste better the second day, so it's ideal for luncheons or events that you make food for a night ahead, it microwaves well. I always make a double batch and we take some for lunch at work)

If you make it let me know how you like it...
===================================================

P.S. and completely off the subject, Justin posted more pictures of the baby to his blog.

Introducing Nikaia Drew Lang

This is our new niece on her very first day in this world!! (And Justin's mom's hand...) Isn't she a pretty little thing? (Nikaia, not the hand.)

{Editor's note, if you pay much attention to this, you will see that the spelling of Nikaia's name has changed from Nikea, to Nikaia. We were just informed of this yesterday. They changed it from the English spelling, to the greek spelling, which means "she who brings victory." Pretty cool.}

It's a Girl!

We have a new niece. Justin's sister had her baby on Tuesday. I've been waiting to post about it until I had a picture to post, but we don't have one yet, and it's just been too long. So when I get one, I'll post it...Her name is Nikaia Drue Lang. She is 6 pounds, 1 ounce and 18 inches long...so a petite little thing. Hopefully we'll be making a trip to Amarillo to see her, maybe next weekend...

Brown Dress

Alex Martin made a little brown dress on July 7th 2005 and wore it every day for a year. (It officially came off on Friday.) She threw snowballs in it (wearing additional clothing layers in cold weather for health & safety), gardend in it, rehearsed in it, traveled in it, danced in it (shes a dancer), cooked in it, pruned her pear trees in it, reclined in it, sang her baby to sleep in it. All in a little brown dress... a one person protest against fashion.

Now, we all know this isn't my personal idea of fun, and I think there are much more important things to protest, but it's totally worth checking out...

High Hopes, Low Outcome

So, for my entire childhood, my favorite holiday was a local shindig called "Early Settlers Day." For me, it trumped Christmas, my birthday and the 4th of July all rolled into one. There was a parade {where I got to ride on the firetruck}, lots of stuff to do, and tons of booths to shop at {yes, even as a child, I had the need to spend}. And great food {honestly, can anyone resist fried and/or sugar coated?} I had not been to an ESD celebration for about 7 years, since I moved after high school and was very much looking forward to this years festivities. In fact, I've been counting the days since we moved here in August {last August}.

This morning I leapt out of bed at the crack of dawn {9:30} all abuzz with visions of funnel cakes dancing in my head. I had in fact, had difficult sleeping last night because I was so excited, and I had happy dreams of parades all night long. I proceeded to make myself beautiful {by shaving my legs}, pick the perfect "summer festival" outfit {short skirt, tank top, flip flops}, and get Justin out of bed. Then it was off to the parade!! {The parade route actually goes right down the street at the end of our block hurray!}

Unfortunately, I had misunderstood the time that the parade was going to start, so by the time we walked the 10 yards to the end of the block, we had already missed the cheerleaders and the band {very disappointing, except for the firetrucks, those are the best parts}. But I still had hope that it would be okay because after all, there was still the Shriners in their tiny little cars, and the Sheriffs Posse {do they really still use the word "posse"?} on their big 'ol horses and best of all the firetrucks!!

Alas...it was still rather disappointing. Perhaps it was because I'm no longer 7 years old...or perhaps it was because Justin was grumpy, or perhaps it was simply that I'd built it up so much in my mind that of course it could never live up to the hype...but the parade sucked. {My younger brother did however look quite handsome in his new fire department uniform.}

I managed to get over the crushing disappointment of the parade, after all there was still all the glorious stuff on the square to think about. We gatherd our things {I switched from the skirt to some capris, due to a fat thigh problem} and headed off to the square with Maybe. Ok...so it seemed a little...dingy, and a little less glorious than I had imagined but that's ok right...?

Um...not so much. Most of the booths had turned into food vendors {hey, I love a corn dog as much as the next person, but is it worth waiting for half an hour?? I can pop one in the oven quicker than that!} There was nothing to do {hello? what happened to "event vendors" I want to throw a frikkin baseball and sink a clown!!} and the booths that sold stuff...well that was just crap. Lots of those weird vinyl balloons and gaudy costume jewelry {don't get me wrong, I do love the bling...just not when its a big purple crystal cross}.

So yeah...we did have an okay time...and we did get corndogs {Maybe got her very own hot dog, and I think I spied her eating a piece of funnel cake it was really here big day}, and we did find some stuff to buy {please, I can always find something to buy} I got a yummy wreath for the front door made of oranges, bay leaves and cinnamon sticks, and Justin got a cool hammered bronze bowl thing from the same vendor...but then we came home. It just wasn't worth standing around in the heat, and frankly, we had seen all there was to see...I did confirm that in fact, ESD used to be better. It wasn't just my imagination...and the only thing I can say is...what has happened to the small town American festival??

We are however going to attend South Plains College's summer musical tomorrow afternoon. I participated in said production for several years before I got out of here, and I'm sure that it will live up to expectations...it is the same director after all. {However, it is The Music Man, so there is some room for doubt...}

Anyway, in tribute to the Early Settlers Days of the past, I'm posting an old newspaper clipping {see above} of my dad pulling me in a wagon in the parade, Reading the date, I was 15 months old {it was a couple years before the trusted me not to fall off the firetruck}. We are dressed as clowns. I'm the small one.


{Editor's Note: We are going to give this festival thing another try...I think Canyon has something similar in October. Can one of my loyal Canyonite readers please find out when it is?}

Independence

Happy 4th of July...we will be working all day, however it is at 2.5 pay so that's a total bonus. Kind of sad that we'll get home too late to see any fireworks though. We had a really good day yesterday...It was payday so we ate at Weinerschnitzel and went to spend our Bed Bath & Beyond giftcards on yummy candles and a new bathroom trashcan. I got 4 new pairs of flip flops at Old Navy, which are my favorite things. Justin got some new clothes, I got a new shirt and we ordered pizza for dinner... all the processed fatty food made me kind of sick since we've been cooking and eating pretty organically but it was sooo worth it...so anyway, everybody have a happy 4th, blow something up for me!

Aww.

I have the sweetest husband ever.
See: www.brinklj.blogspot.com

Never.

Never, ever, eat a whole seedless watermelon and nothing else for dinner. 'Nuff said.

Monday is payday again, time is just flyin' by!! We're working all day the 4th of July, but it's never been a big holiday for me anyway, and its 2.5 times our normal pay sooo we can be off on Saturday for Levelland's big Early Settlers Day celebration.

Small Anniversary

We have been married for one month today!! Yay marriage!

Damn Fortune Cookie

On March 18th Justin and I ate at a Chinese restaurant, and when we opened our fortune cookies, we were astonished to see actual fortunes, instead of the crap that says "you are well liked" or whatever. This one said "remember 3 months from this date, good things will be coming to you on that day." So, being the mildy superstitous girl that I am, I immediately put it in my day planner on today's date, June 18th. The three month anniversary of the fortune cookie. Well guess what? Not one good thing has happened today. It's just been a normal, boring day. We had dinner with my family, which was fine, but not special, and I don't particularly think it was great because my step mother was snarky from the moment we arrived. Justin and I bought some scratch off lottery tickets figuring, well, maybe we have to be proactive in reaching the good thing...but they were all losers, and now my hands smell like copper from counting pennies to purchase the tickets. *sigh* So now, instead of just being glad that Justin and I got through a day without a fight or any kind of drama, I'm disappointed because nothing fantastic has happened. Damn cookie.

Too Damn Bored.

I am so freakin' bored. I hate that our paydays are at the beginning of our work weeks (Tuesdays) because it means that on our weekends (Sunday-Monday) we don't have any money so we can't really do anything, and the rest of the week, we spend basically all of our time either at work or driving to work or getting ready for work. I'm tired of watching TV, and reading, and searching the internet for drivel. I'm tired of cleaning the house and hanging out with my family I just want to do something. It's too hot to hang out outside, (something like 104 degrees). At night, when it finally cools off the killer mosquitoes come out and drive us back into the house. This is maddening. AuGGGH!!

Popcorn!

Our one month anniversary is on payday hurray!! We're going to go on a date. Justin and I in the beginning of our relationship, never had dates...at the very first, he just came to my house, later on, I visited him in Denton and we mostly just sort of hung out. Then I moved there, and there were a few dates, but not really, it was always just like going out to dinner because we didn't want to cook. Only a few times was there any sort of dressing up or actual plan...so, we're going on a date. We're going to go to dinner at the Indian food restaurant that we like and see a movie, probably the Break Up. We haven't been to a movie in MONTHS. This is going to be very fun!

Teeth

I am under some serious stress. I only know this because I can't stop grinding my teeth in my sleep, and I wake up with a huge headache, and my jaws feel like they're going to fall off. This is bad. I don't know what to do to stop this...

Productive

I was very productive today, I got up and walked maybe all the way to the courthouse and around the square, visited my dad at work for awhile, came home, cleaned the kitchen and living room and woke Justin up. It was very hot and I wanted a shower really really badly, but since we live in this 100 year old house and only have a bathtub, I put on my swimsuit and let Justin shower me outside with the watering hose. I washed my hair and everything, it was soooo fun!! Like running through the sprinkler or something.

Then we went and ate pizza and bought lots of great groceries, because we are trying desperately to learn to cook. We've just been kind of sitting around since then but it's been a really good day! Now we're gonna watch a movie and eat lots of the gourmet junk food we bought at Target last night with a wedding gift card hurray!

Yumm-O!

Yes! We finally found a really good Indian food restaurant in Lubbock! Today was payday so we treated ourselves to a lovely dinner at Maharaja. Not too spicy, {they actually grind the spices individually for every dish according to how spicy you like it} very pretty and fairly reasonably priced. And we found out that on Friday and Saturday nights they have live belly dancers {as opposed to the ones that just kind of lay there}. Woo Hoo! We're taking my dad on Friday, he needs to expand his dining horizons, and who can resist belly dancers?

Letting Go.

For the first time since high school, I forgot the birthday of my best friend from those good ol' days. It was yesterday...the thought didn't even cross my mind until somone mentioned it today. I know that it's rather pathetic, but I've been struggling with the loss of this friend on and off for years (6 years to be exact.) I feel that it's because during that time, I've not made any other friends (with the exception of Justin, of course) who I feel as close to as I did to this person.... Or perhaps it's fear of becomming so close to someone, only to lose them again that prevents me from seeking out this kind of friendship to begin with...Anyway, I think this birthday forgetting is a very good sign of much needed closure, but it still makes me kind of sad.

Panacea

We left work early today and went to the doctor to have Justin's blood pressure checked out. Because this is how it works, by the time someone checked him today his blood pressure had dropped to a slightly high but nothing to stress about 140/80. However, the Dr. believed us about it being super high on and off for the past few days and prescribed BenicarHCT. He also gave us about a months worth of samples, which will save us some money, so that's good. Anyway, I'm very relieved that things are going to be okay. The main problem now is that the medicine will make Justin feel worse before he feels better, and I'm not very nurturing. This is unfortunate for Justin, who likes to be taken care of when he's sicky. I mostly like to be left alone when I'm sick, which I sort of am...but not like Justin so I won't expound.

More Wedding Stuff and One ER Visit

Justin's a better blogger than I am, so please go read his blog if you want to see lots of pictures of wedding stuff...

Tonight we had dinner with my family which was really fun, my dad grills a great burger! However, Justin hadn't been feeling good for a few days, so my aunt took his blood pressure which was an alarming 210/116 so we went to the emergency room. Of course, during the hour which we had to wait, it fell to a still high, but much less scary 161/84. So, we have to make an appointment for Justin to see a doctor about getting some medicine to bring his blood pressure down. Then he will start to feel better and we can both get into a good food and exercise routine.

Before all the scary stuff happened, Justin took some great pictures of me to replace the not so great bridal portraits that they took at Family Photo:

The Re-cap

And now, the recap of the wedding, honeymoon and anything else in between:

The day before the wedding, my family and I went up to the church where the reception was held and moved tables around, folded chairs up and made a gazillion tulle bows. We placed table cloths, candle holders, cups, silverware, napkins and the thousand other accutrements that are apparently needed to feed people some cake and fruit.

My mom and James arrived after a 10 hour drive at around 4 o'clock. The atmosphere in the church visibly thickened, but all was fine. We just continued tying bows and getting things ready. After the church was suitably attired, My mom, James, Stacy, Steven, Justin, Dustin (the best man) and I went to eat the all-u-can-eat fish and shrimp buffet at the local "nice" restaurant. It was delicious, however, when my mom is in attendance, one can rarely take literally the "all-u-can-eat" moniker. Then we headed down to the Gazebo for a quick walk through, to make sure the music that I have slaved for weeks to choose was actually workable. It was (of course). D'Liesa stood in for me as the bride, to avoid any bad luck, and all in all it was pretty successful.

To be quite honest, I don't remember what happened between 7 and 9pm on that day. But at 9 o'clock, Justin, Dustin and I were running around all over town trying to find pineapple sherbet and gingerale for my reception. (Apparently, every unmarried couple in the western hemisphere got married on May 20, everyone wanted white punch, and everyone got there before us.) Finally at United, I got the last available sherbet and gingerale available in town and ran back to my aunt's house. I kissesd Justin goodbye (per tradition I didn't want to see him on Saturday until the actual wedding) and settled in to make my bouquet and freeze a couple of pineapple rings for the sherbet. After about 20 minutes of CSI we decided that we were just too tired to concentrate and went to bed.

However, inability to stay awake does not necessarily mean that one can go to sleep. I tossed and turned and had asthma attacks until around 3am and then the double dose of Tylenol pm kicked in and I passed out. Dragged myself out of bed around 9:15, ran around like crazy to get the gazebo decorated, pick up the cake and fruit, eat a quick lunch and then it was time to get dressed!!!

Neither Justin or I remember much about the actual ceremony. It felt really magical, and dreamlike and perfect. I walked down the aisle with my dad to Enya's Flora's Secret, We cried through our vows, we left to Abba's I do I do I do, we laughed and smiled through the pictures and then we went to eat cake, which, everyone agreed, was delicious.

Then, we came home, had a present orgy, packed a bag and headed to Amarillo for our (glamorous) honeymoon. Our first meal as husband and wife was Sonic hamburgers. (see I told you it was glamorous) The honeymoon was perfect, we slept a lot in a beautiful bed with the softest white duvet ever, we did a lot of shopping with our wedding gift cards, we ate tons of food, and then we slept some more. We also cried a lot. I think that the wedding was so cathartic that when it was finally over we just flooded with so much relief and happiness that it had explode out of us in tears and laughter. It was perfect.

{Editors Note: Much like our last illicit premarital sex, our first government sanctioned sex was interrupted with phone calls.}

All in all, being married to Justin doesn't feel that different from just living together. I suppose that it's less of a dramatic change when you don't have to move into a new place with someone who you've never heard burp. I think this is better....We don't feel different, just happier. And yeah, we've already had our first big fight,(of course we have, I'm an anger ball) but it's fine, because we still just feel happier than we were before. I truly believe that this was the best decision of my life...and I'm still smiling so much my cheeks hurt.

I'm Married!!!!!

!!!

I'm Getting Married Tomorrow!!!!

Disgruntled.

I've heard legends about people who get to take a year off of work to plan their weddings. I get to take off for two days, today and tomorrow, and even that is pushing it.

My dad woke me up this morning by banging on my front door at 9am and telling me that he wants 10 silk potted plants to the fire station by noon so that he can hose them off. Then he yelled at me because my aunt yelled at him. It's the trickle down effect...the bad kind.

Today I have to clean my house. This house is over 100 years old, and has gold shag carpet and electrical wiring that makes the code inspectors head spin, so there's only so much a girl can do, but at least my laundry should be clean when my mom arrives. Wedding-wise there isn't that much stress, except for the whole "will everyone get along" drama. However, because my mother is coming to town, everyone, including me, has been thrown into a tizzy.

I did not take a Lunesta last night, and so, no bile taste last night or this morning. Crisis averted, but now, how will I ever get to sleep? Also, last night, Justin and I had planned to have our official last, illicit, non married sex. That fell through when we arrived home at 10pm to find our house full of people. Two of them were working on the aforementioned scary electrical wiring and my stove, two of them (one of which I had never seen before) had comandeered my sofa/chair, and two of them were wandering around rather aimlessly while Maybe barked her head off.

Now, I pride myself on being a gracious hostess, but when I have a list of 7500 (I'm not exaggerating here) things to do in the next 2 days, not the least of which is my last illicit sex, it's a little difficult to be joyful and entertaining. Especially at 10 o clock at night. Especially when I wasn't expecting this circus to open up in my living room, kitchen and storage room. So yeah, I was disgruntled. Everyone finally left at around 11:30. Justin cooked dinner, which we were finally finished eating at around 1:oo and then we crashed. So much for romance.

Ok, off to make the thousand phone calls that I have to make, and then to drag some plants around. Augggh...

The Culprit

Discovered online last night that the Lunesta, which I've been using to sleep for the past few days is also responsible for the taste of bile in my mouth every night and morning. I found a barrage of complaints from other people about it on review sites. This is good, perhaps they will not have to suck my gallbladdar out. So, back to Tylenol PM for me.

3 days until the wedding. I'm getting very schitzy. We were almost killed by a mail truck yesterday. That did not add to the joy in any way. Trying to get my house presentable, and laundry done before my mother arrives on Friday.

We still have no idea how many people will be attending this shindig. Justin thinks more than our estimated 60 but I'm really thinking closer to 20. I guess we'll see....

The Gall!

Bleh. I think I'm having problems with my gallbladder. Everymorning my mouth tastes like bile, and sometimes it starts in the middle of the night. My belly hurts after I eat anything. This is disgusting and coming at a really bad time. Internet says "gallbladdar problems can be triggerd by stress." Well...There ya go.

Babysat for my 2 year old niece Hannah last night. She is so cute and smart. Made Justin yearn for fatherhood. Not quite yet buddy!

Mothers.

So, Justin gave in and called his mom last night. It was Mother's day after all. He told her that he is sorry for yelling at her and for telling her to shut up, but that he felt like she wasn't listening to what he has to say, and in all fairness the people on their end started shouting first. He told her that he wants them to come to the wedding and that he loves her and happy Mother's day. What a good son...

And then she:

Told him that he wasn't her son anymore and that she didn't know who he was and how she wanted to buy a grooms cake for him and how awful for her that she didn't get to do that. (It's important to Patsie that things center around her, hence the drama to being with.) And she still doesn't know if they are coming to the wedding or not and cried and made a scene and just refused to act like an adult.

{Editor's comment: Justin says his mom was speaking more in past tense, so apparently he wasn't her son anymore but he is now, perhaps. (?) }

Well, some of us have seating arrangements to consider and need to know if they are coming or not. Grr.

My family isn't exactly a shining star right now either. My step-mother is in an incredibly foul mood, and keeps making slightly veiled snarky comments. Last night it was "people are going to get short tempered and blow up at each other, but it's going to be fine." And I was like (in my head) "excuse me?" And then later during the part of the evening where procreation pressure starts to build, we were talking about birth control, (because I am NOT getting pregnant any time soon) and I told them that I had been on Depo Provera for a while once-upon-a-time but that it made me crazy and she said "Well what are you on now that's making you crazy?" God that's rude. There is nothing I hate more in the world than having my sanity questioned. I wanted to scream (but didn't, see, I'm in full control) "You know what's making me crazy?? All the people causing drama around this wedding!!"

My mother is also stirring up trouble. She's insulted that when my dad gives me away he's saying "her family and I," instead of "her mother and I." Well that's just too bad, it took more than two people to raise me, and it certainly has taken more than that to throw this wedding together in 2 months. She says that it's not fair that he gets to say "I" and that she gets lumped in with everyone else. (Hello, are we in kindergarten? I've never felt this kind of pressure to make sure everyone feels included.) We are considering "her loving family (period)" as a compromise.

I just really hope everyone behaves themselves on Friday and Saturday.

The worst part (so far) : Justin and I aren't getting to leave town and run away from it all afterwards.

*sigh*

Brought to You by the Letter M

Ok, as assigned by the great and powerful Jen

Ten things I like that start with the letter

Maybe: Our little dog. She is really smart and cute and has taught me that perhaps I shouldn't have children. She is also the reason now that even on my days off, I'm usually up before 11. It's so nice to have someone who is so excited to see you in the evenings that they throw themselves at your face. Justin hasn't been that happy to see me in...well...ever.

Myspace.com Ok, so myspace is the devil that sucks you in and is one of those things that *everyone* is doing so it's uncool to find it cool. But it's cool ok? It's let me find out what's going on in the lives of the people that were the most important to me once-upon-a-time.

Monk: I identify with this character in a lot of ways, he helps me see my own nuroses in a way that allows me to laugh at them, because I can laugh at him first. There's a marathon on USA tomorrow. Yay.

Mirror: People think that I'm vain because whenever I pass a reflective surface I look into it. I watch myself when I cry if possible, and I gaze for long periods of time at my own reflection. It's not vanity. Half the time I'm trying to make sure that nothing looks wrong, the other half, I'm trying to figure out exactly who that is in there.

Money: Lately there never seems to be enough of it. Money makes the world go around. I hate this fact. I hate that money has become so important to me...it never was until I didn't have it anymore.

May: The month of my birth, the month that I moved to Denton to be with Justin, the month we are getting married.

Monologue: I am an actress. I have performed countless monologues, most of which I still remember. I write monologues in my head all the time. When I drive alone, especially when I'm upset, I make up long, intense monologues. They help me think, as myself and as someone else.

Margaret Sanger: This woman did so much for women's rights. She changed women's lives. Thank goodness that I can control whether or not I want to get pregnant. This is a big deal.

Musical Theatre: The world would be a happier place if everytime something important happened we all burst into synchronized song and dance. Thank God for Stephen Sondheim.

Milk Chocolate: This can make everything seem ok, at least for the 15 seconds that it takes for a Hershey's Kiss to melt on my tongue.

If you want your own letter, let me know!

Better Today

So, with the help of my amazing aunt, (who has done almost everything to plan my wedding, and has split the cost of the wedding pretty evenly with my mom), we got new tires for my car. We can now get to work. Hurray! We will be paying her back with our next paycheck. (Along with the electric bill, the phone bill, the insurance, and probably 10 other bills that I've forgotten about.)
So, things are better today than they were last night. Working all day tomorrow, it will be a pleasant distraction. This weekend I'm cleaning my aunt's house, dusting silk ivies, and finishing all the wedding planning. Whew.

For Better or Worse

Here are the good things that happened yesterday:

1. Justin and I got our marriage license.

2. My job interview at Dr. Dunn's office went well.

3. ...

Here are the bad things that happened yesterday:

1. My stepsister wanted the rent money early.

2. The transmission went out in Justin's truck, leaving us with no way to get to/from work because the tires on my car have gone to shit. We drove home last night at 30 mph in second gear.

3. We determined that we will not be able to take our glamourous honeymoon to Amarillo because we will not get our paychecks until the Tuesday *after* the wedding. And oh, we don't have a way to get there and back either.

4. ...


So yeah.

Random Info Meme For Patrick

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
You can always make me smile even when I feel truly miserable

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
I'll tell you a play instead: Six Characters in Search of an Author-Luigi Pirandello
(do you like absurdist theatre? You should read this, it's sort of theatre's version of star trek)

3. I'll name something we should do together.
Go to Feldman's with Justin and Tiffany!

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
"You should bring me a cinnamon roll." (Do you remember this?)

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
You shaking the candy machine to rescue my doughnuts

6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
"Though our communication sometimes wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background."
-Claudette Renner

7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
How long after you met Tiffany did you know that you wanted to marry her?

Get out the Heels

I have a job interview tomorrow to work with an OB/GYN in Lubbock. Wish me luck!!

What the Camera Adds

I had my official bridal portraits taken today. The pictures look good, the photographer was fun, and everyone thinks I look great in them...yadda yadda yadda.

I do not think I look great in them.

Some part of my brain (the fairy tale portion) believed that I would put on my perfectly fitted dress, slip on a tiara, my perfect shoes and a veil, and I would suddenly look like a bride...and when I look in the mirror, I do see a bride...but when I look at the pictures, I just see a fat girl in a wedding dress and a tiara.

*sigh*

25

Today's my birthday. I skipped out on my early morning shift at work because well...who wants to work 10 hours on their birthday? Going in at 3, unless someone picks it up from me...and maybe not then. So now, I'm hangin' out, watchin' some Oprah and witnessing the ingestion of a silk leaf by a small dog.

Maybe is still limping around on 3 legs from her spectacular dive off the couch a couple of days ago, but I'm sure she'll be fine. Perhaps it will even help to strengthen her "little" left leg which is the one she hurt last time. She had been hesitant to put any weight on it, but now, as she has no choice, she's hopping right along. The experiences that I have with Maybe lead me to believe that perhaps I should never be allowed to have children. I mean, what happens when my toddler leaps off the back of the sofa? *shudder*

Every year for my birthday my mom feels that it's vitally important that she call me while I'm sleeping and wish me happy birthday. I don't understand this. If I had been say...born at 3am and tortured her for 45 hours on the day that I was actually born it would be one thing, this would just be 25 years of little revenge. However, I came into the world at 2 in the afternoon during a scheduled C-Section, which I feel was very polite. Oh well, as she is the only one of my parents who ever remembers to say happy birthday on the actual day, I can't gripe too much.


Wedding Update: My storage closet is slowly filling up with 15 huge silk plants. In spite of the fact that it's only getting closer, as each day passes it feels less real. Perhaps it's because I don't have bridesmaids...

Stealing My Thunder

Ok, so this is really weird.

When I hurt my left ankle in March, Maybe suddenly developed pain in her left leg.
We thought, hmm what a weird coincidence.

Tonight I slipped on a strawberry at United and sort of did the splits in the aisle. I've pulled a muscle or stretched something in my right hip/groin.

While we were waiting for dinner to cook tonight, Maybe fell off the back of the couch and her right hip is hurting her. We know it hurts because she screamed like a maniac for 10 minutes and will now not put any weight on it.

She is totally stealing my thunder.

It Will All Be Okay...

So, 2 weeks, 2 days sounds a lot longer than

ONLY 16 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING!!

I don't really have that much more to do actually...thanks to the haven that is TheKnot.com I now know how to make my own bouquet saving me at least $50 dollars.

My official portraits are Monday, hope to God the giant pimple on my nose decides to stay undercover for a couple more days.

Justin's best man called last night and has got his tux situation under control, which is good. Justin doesn't talk to his best man as frequently as I would like for him to in order for me to feel like things are in order, but that's his perrogitive. My maid of honor is doubling as my wedding planner so I'm in contact with her well...constantly.

Cake ordered, Photographer hired, Dress altered, undergarments purchased. I still don't have any makeup, but I have two more tanning appointments before the pictures so I'd like to wait to see what color I actually am at that point. I'm hoping for "golden," but I never tan golden, so it will probably be something like "light dirt." *laugh*

Hopefully Justin and I will be able to make a super quick trip to Amarillo this weekend to go to the flea market and shop for hair, I never do my own hair, it's way to easy to buy something quality and cute and attatch it. My hairdresser has agreed to do my color for "a small donation" to ensure that I don't look like an elderly gray haired bride on the big day.

Still don't know what to do about the tattoo situation. For those that don't know I have a rather large (probably 4 inches square) tattoo on my left shoulder. Don't worry it's not like a naked lady or skull and crossbones, it's actually a rather pleasant blue and green tribal inspired design. Completely inoffensive. Except to my mom, who is totally schitzing out about how we're going to cover it. Hello Stage Makeup. However, I probably do not have time to run around looking for quality BenNye over the next 4 days. I think the photography place can probably edit it out. Hello, it's just photo shop, I've done it at home like 12 times.

So...that's about it.

I'm turning 25 on Saturday.

And Now: A Break From Wedding Stuff

Here's what happens to me 20 times a day:


TTY USER: Pls dial xxx-xxx-xxxx

SUSAN: Now dialing...

SUSAN: We're sorry you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try your call again. (recording)

TTY USER: Leave a message.


brilliant.

WOW

I got sooo much done today!! My aunt and I went to the alterations place this afternoon to get the top part of my dress taken in. We were also planning to go shopping for the appropriate foundation pieces for under my dress, an aisle runner and some other wedding related stuff. The first thing we saw when we walked into the shop is that they had the *exact* corset that I needed for under my dress! We had thought that we'd probably have to order it online LUCK!! So, the dress place marked my alterations, we bought my bra, and they agreed that they would also steam out the wrinkles in my dress before my bridal portraits, which will be Monday. Hurray! Then we went to the bridal/party shop and bought the runner so that my dress doesn't snag on the cement where I have to walk "down the aisle." While we were there we picked up 4 disposable "wedding" cameras for my younger brother and sister to take candid shots during the reception and getting ready times etc...(we have a professional photographer for the real pictures.) After that we went to another bridal shop and found my veil, which was on sale! Then we had dinner, and I set out to spend the birthday money that my mom sent me. (My 25th birthday is Saturday.) I got two shirts, some honeymoon lingere, a string of pearls for my portriats, two foot scrubbers, and a horse-shoe toe ring to wear for the wedding. (Tradition says to carry one for good luck, but who can lug around a real horse-shoe?) Then I went to tan I feel like everything is falling into place...things are much better this week...Yay!

Ok, also I made a grevious error in a comment that I posted to one of my entries last week, I said that the only people that I thought read my blog were Justin, Patrick and Tiffany and I left out Jennifer! (I totally didn't mean to so she gets her name in pretty pink letters!)