So This is in My Head Today:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax-
Of cabbages- and kings—

The complete transcript can be found Here:
along with lovely illustrations, for those of you who would also like to have it in your head.


Justin had a long night Monday night, and a busy day yesterday, so it makes sense that he'd take an afternoon nap before coming to pick me up at work. Except that he slept through his alarm and my phone calls (boy was *tired*) and I ended up walking most of the way home. He woke up half an hour late and freaked out and rushed to come find me. He picked me up about three and a half blocks from home. (Luckily, 'cause that was the uphill portion of the ride.) I didn't really mind walking. It's mostly sidewalk, so I didn't have to walk on the edge of the street. I needed the exercise (it's almost a two mile walk), and yesterday was a beautiful day. I'd worn my new pink tennis shoes to work, so everything was hunky dory. Until last night.

My right knee decided to take revenge on me for the unexpected work and my back, which had been feeling much better, thanks to lots of visits to Dr. Noell, started aching and hurting and being generally unpleasant. They tag-teamed me!! So this morning everything hurts. I have an appointment at the chiro this afternoon, thank goodness. I know he's going to yell at me though, for overdoing it while I'm still "fragile." *Sigh*

*Sigh* It's Always Vanilla

You Are Vanilla Ice Cream!

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

How Sweet.

Kiss Me

Your Candy Heart Is "Kiss Me"

You're a romantic at heart - which is quite sweet

You fall quickly and often for many people you meet.

While you're romantic, you've been know to crawl up with a dirty book

Warning to all: You're not as innocent as you may look.

What Naughty Candy Heart Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Growing Up.

Today is my dad's birthday. I just got off the phone with him and he doesn't sound like he should be 49. That just sounds so much older than he is. I've always thought of my dad as a young dad. He's younger than most of my friends' parents, younger than Justin's parents, but 49? That's just a year away from 50. I never thought that my parents would be in their 50s. It makes me feel like an adult. Is that strange, basing the way I feel on the ages of my parents?

I don't feel like a grown up most of the time. I still feel like I need to ask someone's permission before I go to the mall at night, or stay out past 12. I don't smoke, I don't really drink often, I'm not married with kids. Those are all the things I associate with being an adult. I still get a thrill when I go on a trip alone or with friends, like I'm leaving authority for a few days. What authority? I still call my mom and dad when I'm hurt or worried or when something good happens, even if it's something very small. I just wonder when it is that I won't feel that urge.

I wonder if my mom feels like a grown-up. She's been married and divorced, remarried. She has children (grown children!?) She has a house and a couple of cars and two dogs. She takes care of her mother. But does she still get that little jump in her chest when she leaves the house by herself? When she orders a margarita in a restaurant (which she doesn't actually...) is she afraid the waiter will laugh at her and not bring it? I doubt it.

My younger brother and sister are graduating from high school in May. This makes me feel old and young at the same time, in a weird way. I can look at the calendar and acknowledge "yes, they are 19 years old and they are graduating. We are all officially, legally, adults. (?!)" But at the same time, the other half of my mind screams "WHAT? They're not graduating, they're 8! You're 12! Forget this nonsense! Go ask your parents if you can go to Sonic." Justin's the same way with his little sister. She's 20, and she's dating a man with a child and it totally freaks him out. He's like "but she's just 16!" It comforts me that if I'm crazy for thinking this way, that I'm not the only one.

Dirty Laundry

Justin and I had the best weekend. We slept late, went for a walk and didn't get snippy with each other at all. I think that it's a sign that we've both managed to destress about money and work and school and take a deep breath.

However, my fantastic weekend came to an abrupt end in the middle of the night last night. I went to bed at 10:30 so I'd be sure to get enough sleep to get me through my first official day of training at work today. Then, at 1:36 I woke up sweaty and smothered, even though at some point, I'd managed to kick off all my blankets. I drag myself out of bed and realize that the heater has been switched on. As far as I'm concerned, the heater should never be switched on here. We live in Denton, not Denver. It's rarely, if ever cold enough for the heater. So, I switched it back to AC, but at a high enough temperature, that the ac didn't actually kick on, and headed back to bed, relieved at having missed being melted. Not two minutes later, I hear Beth's bedroom door open and the tinny *click* of the switch being moved again. I think that my head is going to explode, but instead, I throw myself out of bed and into my robe, flinging my bedroom door open, to find Jeff, Beth's boyfriend standing suspiciously near the thermostat. "Did you turn the heater back on?" (at this point, I'm trying to keep my head from spinning around) He says no, that he just turned it to a neutral 'off,' but that we shouldn't turn the ac on because then "we might as well be sleeping outside." Well it's COMFORTABLE outside. We live in EAST TEXAS. So I'm still mad, but decide that I can live, and head back to bed, turning my fan on 'helicopter' speed.

After a few minutes, I manage to drift off again, and I sleep for about 45 minutes when a clickclickclick whoosh clickclickclick wakes me again. Jeff is doing laundry. Okay...but why does he keep starting the load over and over again? I wait a few minutes, certain that the madness will end, but it doesn't. So again, I drag myself out of bed, furious, because I have to be at work in 5 hours, and open the door. He looks at me and says "the rinse cycle isn't holding any water, it just drains back out, so I'm trying to fix it." I shrug and head back to my room, sure that he'll give up and go to bed soon, but at the same time wondering why on earth he'd choose the middle of the night to start on laundry. The noise doesn't stop. Finally, I can't take it anymore and head upstairs to tattle to Justin. He comes down and apparently Jeff has fixed the washer and is done with that whole mess. At this point, I'm furious and tired and just want to go to sleep. Justin tucks me back in and I drift off. TWENTY minutes laterJeff's at it again, banging the dryer door open and shut. This time I get too mad for confrontation and ignore it until it goes away.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it unreasonable for me to want to sleep between 1:30 and 3:00 am? I'd be more understanding of this if it had happened during an afternoon nap. People should do laundry during the day, sleeping should be done at night, that's fine. Laundry should not be done in the middle of the night!! It's just not the way things are. I know I'm whiny, but this is just about the last straw. I can't wait for Beth to move out. The sooner the better. I've started to really resent that Beth's parents pay her rent and anything else she needs while I had to work all through college. I resent her for sleeping all day and then sleeping some more at night. I resent her for not having the common courtesy to LET ME SLEEP on a MONDAY NIGHT before I have to be at work. I don't know how much longer I can take this. She's moving out in March or April. I just hope I haven't pulled all my hair out by then.

26? Well it's close.

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Well, This Makes Things Easier

Finally got a rental car, a maroon Honda Civic. Not for long though, the shop says the broken one could possibly be done by tomorrow or the next day. Not going to total it, which is kind of surprising.

Thank Goodness.

Because of a little innovative thinking, we were able to scrape together some cash and go to the grocery store last night. It's so nice to know I won't have to eat beans and rice when I go home. And right now for lunch: cucumber slices and salt...mmm! Had a small fight with Justin this morning. I was reminding him of the things that he needs to try and do today while I'm at work, so he wouldn't forget something important and he got all wounded. He says it's because he just woke up and felt like I was giving him "orders." None of the information was new information. It's not like I was asking him to clean the house or scrub the bathtub. Sometimes he's so sensitive...and I'm not very accomadating to that. I'm going to try and be nicer. I guess my tone might have been a little brisk. I was just in a hurry, didn't mean to be naggy. Oh well. It'll be okay. I'll use the massager on his back tonight.

Patrick, will you tell me soon how to post a list of what I read on this site?

My Hero: The Chiropractor

Yesterday when I got off work, I felt like if I moved just so, that my joints would come unhinged and I'd fall to bits like those toy donkeys that collapse when you push the button under their feet. Then I visited Dr. Noell. The man can do anything. I've never felt so much relief of such bad pain in one visit before. When I got home it was like being a new person. He even adjusted my jaw, with this strange metal thing that looks like an old fashioned syringe, and makes a loud noise. We (Justin and I) also got to look at my X-rays which was cool. It's sort of freeing to actually see what's causing the hurt. Whiplash, for sure the curve of my neck is...not curved. I have to tilt my head all the way back to make it the shape that it's supposed to be in when I hold my head up. Freaky. My pelvis is also tilted strangely. I'd like a copy of the pictures. It could be before and after. Like a Glamour makeover!

I'm on my lunch hour again today, eating sweettarts and water. I forgot to grab anything this morning when leaving the house and this is what I could rummage out of my desk. Not too bad, but it could be much better. I'm dying for Indian food...or sushi. Ten more days.

It's Back to Work We Go

I'm back at work today, well...officially I'm at lunch right now, but the insurance adjuster is doing his thing with the car, so I'm staying in the building insted of going home. Thank goodness the day is more than half done. My body is killing me. If I stand too long, it hurts. If I sit too long, it hurts. If I get up and down too much, it hurts in a different place. This must be what it feels like to be old. Perhaps experiencing it this time will let me aviod the aches in the future? Doubtful. I got my first paycheck from this job on Friday. Actually, half of it was from the library, so it's not as big as the next ones will be, but it was more than usual. However, I had to catch up on some things, and pay rent so now I'm down to 56cents. Fabulous. We've raided both apartments looking for things that could create enough meals for the next two weeks and have come up decidedly short. However, there was a bag of pinto beans and a ham bone, so we cooked a million beans and are looking forward to being *great* company for the next few days. At least it's amusing. There's also stove top stuffing, endless rice, some canned vegitables and a couple packages of ramen. If I lose weight, perhaps we'll stick to this regime. Eleven and a half more days til I have money again...the countdown begins.


I was in an accident yesterday. Rear ended at a redlight by a truck/trailer coming off the highway on my way back to work after lunch. It was raining and the guy just couldn't stop. It was very surreal. I heard the sound of tires squealing for a very long time and thought that it was the car ahead and to the left of me squealing against the wet pavement, and then suddenly BOOM! It was the loudest thing ever. I snapped forwards and then backwards really hard into the headrest. The back window is busted out of the car, the bumper is dented and the tailpipe is kind of chipped. I'm sure the alignment is all off, but it's only been driven a couple of blocks since the accident, and Justin did that driving when he came to get me, so I'm not sure. My whole body hurts, particularly my back, neck, abdomen, and, for some inexplicable reason, my left knee in particular. The accident could have been much worse, and, since it was a company truck/trailer the insurance is paying for everything I need. Going to get an estimate on the vehicle and my body tomorrow. My boss says not to come to work until I see a doctor and I'm not hurting anymore. I have thirty hours of vacation time built up, thank goodness. I'm going to go back on Friday, or tomorrow afternoon, depending on how long it takes at the mechanic/glass place and the dr. On top of the ouch factor, I also feel really really tired. I think it's because pain uses a lot of energy. Ugh.

They're Ba-ack...

Beth got back from her parents' today. I wasn't expecting her til tomorrow afternoon at least, so I'm feeling a little sour. I just wanted *one more night* to myself. Ah well. Justin's off visiting his friend Megan. She's moving back to Amarillo in a few months, and he's sad I think, although, we haven't really talked about it. He acts like he never gets to see her anymore since I moved here, but he wasn't seeing her much before I got here either. Neither of them wants to leave the house and make an effort, and then they both get huffy when they don't get together. It's frustrating.

I was back to work today after my long weekend. It was so hard to drag myself out of bed, and they're still not really training me for my *actual* job. They're trying to catch up from everyone being on vacation last week, and so I just kind of wander around and file and help other people with their work. I don't mind it really, I just think it would be nice to do what I'm actually there for.

My first payday with my new job is Friday. I have to pay rent and bills. I want to scream and pull my hair out because I'm not ahead yet. I know it's just a few weeks til I have a check that I can actually save some of, spend on some things for myself, and maybe get a haircut, but it's just so depressing that it's not *this one.* It makes me want to cry.

I've been very moody for a couple of days. I'm not sure what's come over me, but I don't like it. It makes my head hurt, and it makes me feel tired. (And I think it scares Justin.)

I've lost a library book.

It's Justin! Posted by Hello

Happy New Year!

Okay, so I'm a little late with the well wishing. Sue me. I haven't been near a computer to post on. Well, that's not entirely true, but I wanted to post some pics from Christmas and every time I try to come upstairs and use Justin's computer, which has the photo posting software, he follows me and gets on the computer. Where he is now. football (?) Hm, and here I thought he was a non sports kind of guy. My new years resolution is to do 5 minutes longer than usual on my gazelle. It ends up being fifteen minutes instead of ten, which is half the recommended dose, but I'm a fat girl, gimme a break. I'll work up need to risk a heart attack. AND considering that I haven't done the hateful thing *at all* since before Thanksgiving, it's really FIFTEEN minutes longer than usual. I did it last night and then ran panting up the stairs to brag to Justin. It's nice to have someone to brag to.

Also, yesterday was our anniversary. One year of relationship..uh...bliss. Yeah. It's been a rough year, with moving and money and roommates etc, but we made it through with colors...maybe not flying colors, but colors nonetheless. It can only go up from here. I'm really looking forward to the up. If you'd like to know the gritty details of our celebrating, you're welcome to check out the special attractions. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say 'special attractions', you didn't get the email, and therefore shouldn't be visiting them anyway.

Last year was really eventful for me. Throughout 2004 I've worked 4 jobs, moved one time, cried a million tears, lived with three people and found the person I'm going to marry. Impressive, no? I've also kissed a lot of people. See the special attractions for those stories too, if you're interested.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who made this year, if not fantastic, at least memorable.
And thanks to those of you who helped me through the really ugly times. You know who you are, and I love you.