We left work early today and went to the doctor to have Justin's blood pressure checked out. Because this is how it works, by the time someone checked him today his blood pressure had dropped to a slightly high but nothing to stress about 140/80. However, the Dr. believed us about it being super high on and off for the past few days and prescribed BenicarHCT. He also gave us about a months worth of samples, which will save us some money, so that's good. Anyway, I'm very relieved that things are going to be okay. The main problem now is that the medicine will make Justin feel worse before he feels better, and I'm not very nurturing. This is unfortunate for Justin, who likes to be taken care of when he's sicky. I mostly like to be left alone when I'm sick, which I sort of am...but not like Justin so I won't expound.

More Wedding Stuff and One ER Visit

Justin's a better blogger than I am, so please go read his blog if you want to see lots of pictures of wedding stuff...

Tonight we had dinner with my family which was really fun, my dad grills a great burger! However, Justin hadn't been feeling good for a few days, so my aunt took his blood pressure which was an alarming 210/116 so we went to the emergency room. Of course, during the hour which we had to wait, it fell to a still high, but much less scary 161/84. So, we have to make an appointment for Justin to see a doctor about getting some medicine to bring his blood pressure down. Then he will start to feel better and we can both get into a good food and exercise routine.

Before all the scary stuff happened, Justin took some great pictures of me to replace the not so great bridal portraits that they took at Family Photo:

The Re-cap

And now, the recap of the wedding, honeymoon and anything else in between:

The day before the wedding, my family and I went up to the church where the reception was held and moved tables around, folded chairs up and made a gazillion tulle bows. We placed table cloths, candle holders, cups, silverware, napkins and the thousand other accutrements that are apparently needed to feed people some cake and fruit.

My mom and James arrived after a 10 hour drive at around 4 o'clock. The atmosphere in the church visibly thickened, but all was fine. We just continued tying bows and getting things ready. After the church was suitably attired, My mom, James, Stacy, Steven, Justin, Dustin (the best man) and I went to eat the all-u-can-eat fish and shrimp buffet at the local "nice" restaurant. It was delicious, however, when my mom is in attendance, one can rarely take literally the "all-u-can-eat" moniker. Then we headed down to the Gazebo for a quick walk through, to make sure the music that I have slaved for weeks to choose was actually workable. It was (of course). D'Liesa stood in for me as the bride, to avoid any bad luck, and all in all it was pretty successful.

To be quite honest, I don't remember what happened between 7 and 9pm on that day. But at 9 o'clock, Justin, Dustin and I were running around all over town trying to find pineapple sherbet and gingerale for my reception. (Apparently, every unmarried couple in the western hemisphere got married on May 20, everyone wanted white punch, and everyone got there before us.) Finally at United, I got the last available sherbet and gingerale available in town and ran back to my aunt's house. I kissesd Justin goodbye (per tradition I didn't want to see him on Saturday until the actual wedding) and settled in to make my bouquet and freeze a couple of pineapple rings for the sherbet. After about 20 minutes of CSI we decided that we were just too tired to concentrate and went to bed.

However, inability to stay awake does not necessarily mean that one can go to sleep. I tossed and turned and had asthma attacks until around 3am and then the double dose of Tylenol pm kicked in and I passed out. Dragged myself out of bed around 9:15, ran around like crazy to get the gazebo decorated, pick up the cake and fruit, eat a quick lunch and then it was time to get dressed!!!

Neither Justin or I remember much about the actual ceremony. It felt really magical, and dreamlike and perfect. I walked down the aisle with my dad to Enya's Flora's Secret, We cried through our vows, we left to Abba's I do I do I do, we laughed and smiled through the pictures and then we went to eat cake, which, everyone agreed, was delicious.

Then, we came home, had a present orgy, packed a bag and headed to Amarillo for our (glamorous) honeymoon. Our first meal as husband and wife was Sonic hamburgers. (see I told you it was glamorous) The honeymoon was perfect, we slept a lot in a beautiful bed with the softest white duvet ever, we did a lot of shopping with our wedding gift cards, we ate tons of food, and then we slept some more. We also cried a lot. I think that the wedding was so cathartic that when it was finally over we just flooded with so much relief and happiness that it had explode out of us in tears and laughter. It was perfect.

{Editors Note: Much like our last illicit premarital sex, our first government sanctioned sex was interrupted with phone calls.}

All in all, being married to Justin doesn't feel that different from just living together. I suppose that it's less of a dramatic change when you don't have to move into a new place with someone who you've never heard burp. I think this is better....We don't feel different, just happier. And yeah, we've already had our first big fight,(of course we have, I'm an anger ball) but it's fine, because we still just feel happier than we were before. I truly believe that this was the best decision of my life...and I'm still smiling so much my cheeks hurt.


I'm Getting Married Tomorrow!!!!


I've heard legends about people who get to take a year off of work to plan their weddings. I get to take off for two days, today and tomorrow, and even that is pushing it.

My dad woke me up this morning by banging on my front door at 9am and telling me that he wants 10 silk potted plants to the fire station by noon so that he can hose them off. Then he yelled at me because my aunt yelled at him. It's the trickle down effect...the bad kind.

Today I have to clean my house. This house is over 100 years old, and has gold shag carpet and electrical wiring that makes the code inspectors head spin, so there's only so much a girl can do, but at least my laundry should be clean when my mom arrives. Wedding-wise there isn't that much stress, except for the whole "will everyone get along" drama. However, because my mother is coming to town, everyone, including me, has been thrown into a tizzy.

I did not take a Lunesta last night, and so, no bile taste last night or this morning. Crisis averted, but now, how will I ever get to sleep? Also, last night, Justin and I had planned to have our official last, illicit, non married sex. That fell through when we arrived home at 10pm to find our house full of people. Two of them were working on the aforementioned scary electrical wiring and my stove, two of them (one of which I had never seen before) had comandeered my sofa/chair, and two of them were wandering around rather aimlessly while Maybe barked her head off.

Now, I pride myself on being a gracious hostess, but when I have a list of 7500 (I'm not exaggerating here) things to do in the next 2 days, not the least of which is my last illicit sex, it's a little difficult to be joyful and entertaining. Especially at 10 o clock at night. Especially when I wasn't expecting this circus to open up in my living room, kitchen and storage room. So yeah, I was disgruntled. Everyone finally left at around 11:30. Justin cooked dinner, which we were finally finished eating at around 1:oo and then we crashed. So much for romance.

Ok, off to make the thousand phone calls that I have to make, and then to drag some plants around. Augggh...

The Culprit

Discovered online last night that the Lunesta, which I've been using to sleep for the past few days is also responsible for the taste of bile in my mouth every night and morning. I found a barrage of complaints from other people about it on review sites. This is good, perhaps they will not have to suck my gallbladdar out. So, back to Tylenol PM for me.

3 days until the wedding. I'm getting very schitzy. We were almost killed by a mail truck yesterday. That did not add to the joy in any way. Trying to get my house presentable, and laundry done before my mother arrives on Friday.

We still have no idea how many people will be attending this shindig. Justin thinks more than our estimated 60 but I'm really thinking closer to 20. I guess we'll see....

The Gall!

Bleh. I think I'm having problems with my gallbladder. Everymorning my mouth tastes like bile, and sometimes it starts in the middle of the night. My belly hurts after I eat anything. This is disgusting and coming at a really bad time. Internet says "gallbladdar problems can be triggerd by stress." Well...There ya go.

Babysat for my 2 year old niece Hannah last night. She is so cute and smart. Made Justin yearn for fatherhood. Not quite yet buddy!


So, Justin gave in and called his mom last night. It was Mother's day after all. He told her that he is sorry for yelling at her and for telling her to shut up, but that he felt like she wasn't listening to what he has to say, and in all fairness the people on their end started shouting first. He told her that he wants them to come to the wedding and that he loves her and happy Mother's day. What a good son...

And then she:

Told him that he wasn't her son anymore and that she didn't know who he was and how she wanted to buy a grooms cake for him and how awful for her that she didn't get to do that. (It's important to Patsie that things center around her, hence the drama to being with.) And she still doesn't know if they are coming to the wedding or not and cried and made a scene and just refused to act like an adult.

{Editor's comment: Justin says his mom was speaking more in past tense, so apparently he wasn't her son anymore but he is now, perhaps. (?) }

Well, some of us have seating arrangements to consider and need to know if they are coming or not. Grr.

My family isn't exactly a shining star right now either. My step-mother is in an incredibly foul mood, and keeps making slightly veiled snarky comments. Last night it was "people are going to get short tempered and blow up at each other, but it's going to be fine." And I was like (in my head) "excuse me?" And then later during the part of the evening where procreation pressure starts to build, we were talking about birth control, (because I am NOT getting pregnant any time soon) and I told them that I had been on Depo Provera for a while once-upon-a-time but that it made me crazy and she said "Well what are you on now that's making you crazy?" God that's rude. There is nothing I hate more in the world than having my sanity questioned. I wanted to scream (but didn't, see, I'm in full control) "You know what's making me crazy?? All the people causing drama around this wedding!!"

My mother is also stirring up trouble. She's insulted that when my dad gives me away he's saying "her family and I," instead of "her mother and I." Well that's just too bad, it took more than two people to raise me, and it certainly has taken more than that to throw this wedding together in 2 months. She says that it's not fair that he gets to say "I" and that she gets lumped in with everyone else. (Hello, are we in kindergarten? I've never felt this kind of pressure to make sure everyone feels included.) We are considering "her loving family (period)" as a compromise.

I just really hope everyone behaves themselves on Friday and Saturday.

The worst part (so far) : Justin and I aren't getting to leave town and run away from it all afterwards.


Brought to You by the Letter M

Ok, as assigned by the great and powerful Jen

Ten things I like that start with the letter

Maybe: Our little dog. She is really smart and cute and has taught me that perhaps I shouldn't have children. She is also the reason now that even on my days off, I'm usually up before 11. It's so nice to have someone who is so excited to see you in the evenings that they throw themselves at your face. Justin hasn't been that happy to see me in...well...ever. Ok, so myspace is the devil that sucks you in and is one of those things that *everyone* is doing so it's uncool to find it cool. But it's cool ok? It's let me find out what's going on in the lives of the people that were the most important to me once-upon-a-time.

Monk: I identify with this character in a lot of ways, he helps me see my own nuroses in a way that allows me to laugh at them, because I can laugh at him first. There's a marathon on USA tomorrow. Yay.

Mirror: People think that I'm vain because whenever I pass a reflective surface I look into it. I watch myself when I cry if possible, and I gaze for long periods of time at my own reflection. It's not vanity. Half the time I'm trying to make sure that nothing looks wrong, the other half, I'm trying to figure out exactly who that is in there.

Money: Lately there never seems to be enough of it. Money makes the world go around. I hate this fact. I hate that money has become so important to never was until I didn't have it anymore.

May: The month of my birth, the month that I moved to Denton to be with Justin, the month we are getting married.

Monologue: I am an actress. I have performed countless monologues, most of which I still remember. I write monologues in my head all the time. When I drive alone, especially when I'm upset, I make up long, intense monologues. They help me think, as myself and as someone else.

Margaret Sanger: This woman did so much for women's rights. She changed women's lives. Thank goodness that I can control whether or not I want to get pregnant. This is a big deal.

Musical Theatre: The world would be a happier place if everytime something important happened we all burst into synchronized song and dance. Thank God for Stephen Sondheim.

Milk Chocolate: This can make everything seem ok, at least for the 15 seconds that it takes for a Hershey's Kiss to melt on my tongue.

If you want your own letter, let me know!

Better Today

So, with the help of my amazing aunt, (who has done almost everything to plan my wedding, and has split the cost of the wedding pretty evenly with my mom), we got new tires for my car. We can now get to work. Hurray! We will be paying her back with our next paycheck. (Along with the electric bill, the phone bill, the insurance, and probably 10 other bills that I've forgotten about.)
So, things are better today than they were last night. Working all day tomorrow, it will be a pleasant distraction. This weekend I'm cleaning my aunt's house, dusting silk ivies, and finishing all the wedding planning. Whew.

For Better or Worse

Here are the good things that happened yesterday:

1. Justin and I got our marriage license.

2. My job interview at Dr. Dunn's office went well.

3. ...

Here are the bad things that happened yesterday:

1. My stepsister wanted the rent money early.

2. The transmission went out in Justin's truck, leaving us with no way to get to/from work because the tires on my car have gone to shit. We drove home last night at 30 mph in second gear.

3. We determined that we will not be able to take our glamourous honeymoon to Amarillo because we will not get our paychecks until the Tuesday *after* the wedding. And oh, we don't have a way to get there and back either.

4. ...

So yeah.

Random Info Meme For Patrick

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
You can always make me smile even when I feel truly miserable

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
I'll tell you a play instead: Six Characters in Search of an Author-Luigi Pirandello
(do you like absurdist theatre? You should read this, it's sort of theatre's version of star trek)

3. I'll name something we should do together.
Go to Feldman's with Justin and Tiffany!

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
"You should bring me a cinnamon roll." (Do you remember this?)

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
You shaking the candy machine to rescue my doughnuts

6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
"Though our communication sometimes wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background."
-Claudette Renner

7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
How long after you met Tiffany did you know that you wanted to marry her?

Get out the Heels

I have a job interview tomorrow to work with an OB/GYN in Lubbock. Wish me luck!!

What the Camera Adds

I had my official bridal portraits taken today. The pictures look good, the photographer was fun, and everyone thinks I look great in them...yadda yadda yadda.

I do not think I look great in them.

Some part of my brain (the fairy tale portion) believed that I would put on my perfectly fitted dress, slip on a tiara, my perfect shoes and a veil, and I would suddenly look like a bride...and when I look in the mirror, I do see a bride...but when I look at the pictures, I just see a fat girl in a wedding dress and a tiara.



Today's my birthday. I skipped out on my early morning shift at work because well...who wants to work 10 hours on their birthday? Going in at 3, unless someone picks it up from me...and maybe not then. So now, I'm hangin' out, watchin' some Oprah and witnessing the ingestion of a silk leaf by a small dog.

Maybe is still limping around on 3 legs from her spectacular dive off the couch a couple of days ago, but I'm sure she'll be fine. Perhaps it will even help to strengthen her "little" left leg which is the one she hurt last time. She had been hesitant to put any weight on it, but now, as she has no choice, she's hopping right along. The experiences that I have with Maybe lead me to believe that perhaps I should never be allowed to have children. I mean, what happens when my toddler leaps off the back of the sofa? *shudder*

Every year for my birthday my mom feels that it's vitally important that she call me while I'm sleeping and wish me happy birthday. I don't understand this. If I had been say...born at 3am and tortured her for 45 hours on the day that I was actually born it would be one thing, this would just be 25 years of little revenge. However, I came into the world at 2 in the afternoon during a scheduled C-Section, which I feel was very polite. Oh well, as she is the only one of my parents who ever remembers to say happy birthday on the actual day, I can't gripe too much.

Wedding Update: My storage closet is slowly filling up with 15 huge silk plants. In spite of the fact that it's only getting closer, as each day passes it feels less real. Perhaps it's because I don't have bridesmaids...

Stealing My Thunder

Ok, so this is really weird.

When I hurt my left ankle in March, Maybe suddenly developed pain in her left leg.
We thought, hmm what a weird coincidence.

Tonight I slipped on a strawberry at United and sort of did the splits in the aisle. I've pulled a muscle or stretched something in my right hip/groin.

While we were waiting for dinner to cook tonight, Maybe fell off the back of the couch and her right hip is hurting her. We know it hurts because she screamed like a maniac for 10 minutes and will now not put any weight on it.

She is totally stealing my thunder.

It Will All Be Okay...

So, 2 weeks, 2 days sounds a lot longer than


I don't really have that much more to do actually...thanks to the haven that is I now know how to make my own bouquet saving me at least $50 dollars.

My official portraits are Monday, hope to God the giant pimple on my nose decides to stay undercover for a couple more days.

Justin's best man called last night and has got his tux situation under control, which is good. Justin doesn't talk to his best man as frequently as I would like for him to in order for me to feel like things are in order, but that's his perrogitive. My maid of honor is doubling as my wedding planner so I'm in contact with her well...constantly.

Cake ordered, Photographer hired, Dress altered, undergarments purchased. I still don't have any makeup, but I have two more tanning appointments before the pictures so I'd like to wait to see what color I actually am at that point. I'm hoping for "golden," but I never tan golden, so it will probably be something like "light dirt." *laugh*

Hopefully Justin and I will be able to make a super quick trip to Amarillo this weekend to go to the flea market and shop for hair, I never do my own hair, it's way to easy to buy something quality and cute and attatch it. My hairdresser has agreed to do my color for "a small donation" to ensure that I don't look like an elderly gray haired bride on the big day.

Still don't know what to do about the tattoo situation. For those that don't know I have a rather large (probably 4 inches square) tattoo on my left shoulder. Don't worry it's not like a naked lady or skull and crossbones, it's actually a rather pleasant blue and green tribal inspired design. Completely inoffensive. Except to my mom, who is totally schitzing out about how we're going to cover it. Hello Stage Makeup. However, I probably do not have time to run around looking for quality BenNye over the next 4 days. I think the photography place can probably edit it out. Hello, it's just photo shop, I've done it at home like 12 times.

So...that's about it.

I'm turning 25 on Saturday.

And Now: A Break From Wedding Stuff

Here's what happens to me 20 times a day:

TTY USER: Pls dial xxx-xxx-xxxx

SUSAN: Now dialing...

We're sorry you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try your call again. (recording)

TTY USER: Leave a message.



I got sooo much done today!! My aunt and I went to the alterations place this afternoon to get the top part of my dress taken in. We were also planning to go shopping for the appropriate foundation pieces for under my dress, an aisle runner and some other wedding related stuff. The first thing we saw when we walked into the shop is that they had the *exact* corset that I needed for under my dress! We had thought that we'd probably have to order it online LUCK!! So, the dress place marked my alterations, we bought my bra, and they agreed that they would also steam out the wrinkles in my dress before my bridal portraits, which will be Monday. Hurray! Then we went to the bridal/party shop and bought the runner so that my dress doesn't snag on the cement where I have to walk "down the aisle." While we were there we picked up 4 disposable "wedding" cameras for my younger brother and sister to take candid shots during the reception and getting ready times etc...(we have a professional photographer for the real pictures.) After that we went to another bridal shop and found my veil, which was on sale! Then we had dinner, and I set out to spend the birthday money that my mom sent me. (My 25th birthday is Saturday.) I got two shirts, some honeymoon lingere, a string of pearls for my portriats, two foot scrubbers, and a horse-shoe toe ring to wear for the wedding. (Tradition says to carry one for good luck, but who can lug around a real horse-shoe?) Then I went to tan I feel like everything is falling into place...things are much better this week...Yay!

Ok, also I made a grevious error in a comment that I posted to one of my entries last week, I said that the only people that I thought read my blog were Justin, Patrick and Tiffany and I left out Jennifer! (I totally didn't mean to so she gets her name in pretty pink letters!)