I was recognized by a student tonight at the grocery store. She was very friendly and asked when I was scheduled to sub again. When I told her that I'd be there on Monday and the teacher that I was there for, she was very excited. *grin* It's nice to have a job that I'm a) good at and b) appreciated for. (Even if they do only like me because I let the high school students get away with a lot.) In any case, I was glad that the student, who is one of the "cool girls," wasn't a witness to me crashing my basket into the end of an aisle about 10 minutes before.

Tales of Fashion Disasters

On the first day of first grade, my beloved teacher, Mrs. Ivey, told us that we would be having PE the next day and that, if we wanted to, we could bring gym clothes to change into. Being new at the whole PE experience, and wanting to make Mrs. Ivey proud, I went home that afternoon and insisted that we go right out and get a "gymsuit." In my mind this included a leotard, like the girls on TV. (It was the 80's!) My parents questioned this, but I insisted that for PE the next day I would need a gymsuit.
We headed out to get what I wanted and brought it home. The next day, I absolutely could not wait for PE (if you can believe that), so that I could change into my new clothes. It wasn't until we got to the gym that I realized I was the only student who had brought anything, and the PE teacher was surprised at my request to change. Apparently, in elementary school, there is no changing for gym. She finally gave in, and led me to a locker room, which had gone unused for years, and let me change.
Now, before I tell you what I emerged wearing, I must insist that you not laugh quite as long and hard as Justin did when I told him this story. I realize that, in retrospect, it's funny, but I thought the part where he was laughing so hard he was unable to breathe and fell out of bed was overdoing it a bit. This was traumatic for me! Ready? Ok, then.
My gymsuit, which I was so proud of, was a black leotard with straps, like a bathing suit. The black part had all sorts of brightly colored designs on it and the straps went over a bright pink, capped-sleeved t-shirt, which was sewn into the leotard. It looked something like this:

Except with a layered look because of the skinny straps and pretend t-shirt. I'm pretty sure that I was also wearing it over shiny, pink-spandex bike shorts. With a headband. JANE FONDA WAS VERY POPULAR!

Are you all done laughing at me now? Shall we continue? Oh you need more time. Fine......

Obviously, no other 7 year olds were channeling Olivia Newton John, and I was mortified to walk out into the gym and see them there, sans spandex. Unwilling to admit exactly how wrong I was about all of this, I continued the PE class in my jazzersize getup and then changed again before heading back to class. By the time I got home, I was in an absolute tizzy. Crying and completely freaked out, I could not believe how wrong I had been. To make things worse, my parents scolded me for insisting on the gymsuit to begin with. But how was I to know? I had no point of reference, other than Buns of Steel, for what gym clothes were. They never believed me after this, any time I came home from school telling them that I needed this or that. And not just for the rest of first grade, or elementary school either. They were non-believers while I was in HIGH SCHOOL too. Oh, the shame!
You can clearly see that this experience scarred me for life. I never leave the house unless I'm really, really sure that my clothes are right.
Also, you may or may not be surprised to discover that this isn't my only embarrassing moment that revolves around a leotard. Perhaps if you're lucky, some day I'll tell you about the "Naked Eve" costume that I had to wear once for a church choir performance. Yes. Naked. Or more accurately, I suppose, "naked."

Because You're Dying to Know

Well, probably not, but I get asked enough either at school or by people on ChaCha or just in general conversation, so I'm posting it here, this way I remember when I'm put on the spot. These are my favorite movies, from oldest to newest. (All plot synopses are from IMDB, because I'm lazy, and not good with the brevity.)

1. The Gorgeous Hussy (1936)
PLOT: President Andrew Jackson's friendship with an innkeeper's daughter spells trouble for them both.

2. Citizen Kane (1941)
PLOT: Following the death of a publishing tycoon, news reporters scramble to discover the meaning of his final utterance.

3. The Princess Bride (1987)
PLOT: A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather).

3. Chasing Amy (1997)
PLOT: Holden and Banky are comic book artists. Everything's going good for them until they meet Alyssa, also a comic book artist. Holden falls for her, but his hopes are crushed when he finds out she's a lesbian.

4. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
PLOT: A young Shakespeare, out of ideas and short of cash, meets his ideal woman and is inspired to write one of his most famous plays.

5. Dogma (1999)
PLOT: An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and re-enter Heaven.

A Little Snark

It appears that Joan Rivers has taken it a bit too far...

Assistance Please

Okay, I want to do that thing where only part of each post shows, and then you can click to see the rest of it, but I can't remember how to do it. Any ideas?

Pop 'n' Serve

This is the best snack-related invention ever. It's the Act II Pop 'n' Serve tub. The popcorn tastes exactly like movie theater popcorn and it saves me from digging around to find an acceptable bowl. (I never eat popcorn straight from the bag. Greasy fingers. Yuck.) I realize that it's a little environmentally irresponsible, creates extra waste and all that, but it's not like I'm using a hundred of these a day or anything. And, if you have a recycling center in your community, it's recyclable cardboard.

Hearts and Flowers

Jewelry Girls:

Everything on this website is just as cool as the bird's nest necklace over there --->. Go there, buy stuff, and wait for the compliments to roll in.

PS: I don't know the owner or designer or anything, I just love the stuff.


Please ignore the Sunday hair and complete lack of makeup. focus only on the fabulous shade of green that I've painted my fingernails.

"I think people are perfectly marvelous, I really do, Cliff. Don’t you? I don’t think people should have to explain anything. For example, if I should paint my fingernails green; and it just so happens I do paint them green, well, if anyone should ask me why, I say: 'I think it’s pretty!'”
~~Sally Bowles.

And toenails. :)

Yes, as a matter of fact, we are watching Cabaret (with Liza Minnelli) right this minute.

Pepsi Ad

I think this is a great commercial. And the music makes me dance.


I have an excellent horoscope this week:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
For week of February 5, 2009

There's one supreme standard by which your progress in the coming weeks should be ultimately measured: Will you understand yourself better at the end of the adventures than you do at the beginning? A new privilege may come your way, or an honor that'll perk up your résumé, and maybe even a breakthrough that'll help dissolve your phobia of success. But they will only manifest a fraction of their potential unless you heed my updated version of Socrates' best soundbite: Know thyself -- or else.


This is a picture of the Thespian Society of Levelland High School, circa 1998. That's me, third from the right, second row. I still wear my sunglasses on my head, still color my hair a shade called Ebony Mocha and am still partial to horizontal stripes (even if they aren't flattering). Perhaps I haven't made as much progress since I was 16 as I thought. Hmm. The good news is that I no longer paint my fingernails black or have braces. (That may be changing.)

The guy I'm touching was my best friend. I haven't seen or heard from him in something like 8 years, but I remember exactly how that sweater felt. I'm posting this mostly because I know that Amanda (and probably Whitney) will get a kick out of it. See the guy, bottom left? He was totally in love with Amanda for years. (You did know that, didn't you Amanda?)