Be On the Lookout.

I've been feeling a little sad...and a little lonely for the person that I was a couple of years ago. I used to be really confident, and fun and well dressed among other things. And now...I'm just not.
I'm sort of anxious all the time and paranoid and there is no confidence left in me. Not a trace. Not a drop. It's very depressing. The fun Susan went right out the window with Confident Susan. I think they followed Well-Dressed Susan, she's been missing for a long time.

Here's the deal. I used to work at a place where I really felt like the people listened to me, and cared about me, and were interested in what I had to say. It mattered what I wore, because they were paying attention. I lived in an apartment that I loved, and I was able to go shopping on a regular basis. I didn't have a wildly active social life, but I did have a few friends that I knew I could count on. And I was really, really happy.

And then I moved.

I started a job where the boss was a jerk, the people were psycho territorial and paranoid, and they couldn't have cared less about what I thought, or how I felt. They were however, rather obsessed about what I wore, and since it was never quite right, I quit after only a couple of days working there. I had a boyfriend who I loved, and everything was great in my love-life for once, but everything else was really not great. I got another job, but the people were still rather apathetic about my existence and I didn't have any friends. Then I got another job, and the people there were sort of openly hostile, and 7 months later it all sort of went up in flames. During that time, I completely forgot who I was...who I am...and I don't know how to get myself back.

I suspect that it will start with finding Well-Dressed Susan again. She must be out there somewhere...perhaps hiding underneath all the cargo pants and tanks tops.

*sigh* At least I got to keep the guy.

Anyway, if you see Well-Dressed, Confident or Fun Susan running around somewhere please send her home. Thanks.