So, Justin has had this terrible ingrown toenail for over a year and I was finally able to convince him that it had to come out or that he'd end up losing his toe, his foot or even his leg eventually. His appointment was today and it went like this:
It was rather more traumatic than we expected. First off it cost a lot more than it should have considering that our insurance is supposed to be paying for a chunk of it, and the fact that it's really a 20 minute procedure. Then there was the anesthesia. The needle was this long: --------------------------------------------- I'm not kidding at all, and he put it in the top of J's toe just above his toenail and then he moved it up and down and in and out like he was digging for something and some of the time it went ALL THE WAY IN!! Then he sucked up some more of the drug and did the same thing in the side of his toe, and I totally thought that it was going to go all the way through. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to watch the actual surgery because just the shot was so scary. But of course I couldn't pass it up, so we headed into surgery and waited for more than an hour.
Justin started feeling like his anesthesia was wearing off and he got really scared so when the doctor finally came in he checked it and Justin said "yes I can feel that, it's sharp," which is NOT what he's supposed to be able to tell. So the crazy doctor said "well it's mostly numb, I'm going to GO AHEAD AND TRY IT. If it hurts tell me." So they started and it was SOOO cool, ( you know I LOVE watching that sort of thing). So Justin starts gripping the chair and looking like he's about to cry, but I think "oh, he can just feel the pressure and it's freaking him out," because you know, surely if he was in pain he'd be screaming like a maniac and make them give him another shot right? So I watch him cut the toenail in half and remove it one half at a time and then inject some sort of chemical to kill the root and keep the nail from growing back.
Anyway, he got it finished and wrapped and then after they left Justin said "It wasn't numb, I felt it. It felt like he was yanking and twisting to get the toenail off, " which is of course exactly what he was doing. Turns out Justin was supposed to get 3 shots, not 2. The doctor missed a whole side of his toe!! I cannot believe that he didn't say anything! I guess it makes sense though, because he said that those scary shots were the worst part, so maybe it's better to have someone yank off your toenail instead of digging around in your toe with a giant needle.
He's sleeping now all wrapped up and with only 9 toenails, and a bandage that looks like he broke his whole foot instead of just having a toenail removed (he's a bit of a bleeder). I gave him one of those scary pain pills so that at least he would sleep and not hurt all night. They don't seem to freak him out as much as they do me...
I took "before" pictures, and when we can take the "after" pictures on Saturday night I will post them. You will be amazed at how terrible his toe looked before (and probably after, I'm just guessing but it can't be pretty), however I am quite sure that this was the best thing to do. He was in a lot of pain all the time, and now he'll be in a super lot of pain, but just for a little while and then he'll feel better forever (or at least until another toenail goes all rabid).
Weird.
So, while the weather hasn't been even remotely fall-like, the trees apparently got the memo that "it's time" a bit too early and leaves are dropping like...well like leaves. This isn't something I would normally post about, or something I would probably even notice except that:
A) We are the only house on the block without a tree in the yard.
Which is why this doesn't make any sense:
B) We are the only house on the block that has a lawn full of leaves.
Confession
Even if they are for something that I would never in a thousand years buy.
Even if the product goes completely against my fundamental beliefs.
Even if it is poorly made and the actors are ugly.
I am completely addicted to infomercials.
I've spent the last 20 minutes totally mesmerized by the ad for the new TaeBo videos. Anyone who knows me knows that A) I hate to sweat, which is what all those people are doing and B) I am not even coordinated enough to make it from my front door to my car 100 percent of the time, much less jump around swinging a 3 pound stick, but I just can't pull myself away.
Perhaps it's time for bed.
Even if the product goes completely against my fundamental beliefs.
Even if it is poorly made and the actors are ugly.
I am completely addicted to infomercials.
I've spent the last 20 minutes totally mesmerized by the ad for the new TaeBo videos. Anyone who knows me knows that A) I hate to sweat, which is what all those people are doing and B) I am not even coordinated enough to make it from my front door to my car 100 percent of the time, much less jump around swinging a 3 pound stick, but I just can't pull myself away.
Perhaps it's time for bed.
Not MIA
I've been away because I am reading every entry in this blog for the past 6 years. I think it's funny, and it gives me something to do besides watching plastic surgery on tv. I may be gone for awhile.
Editors Note: Thanks Patrick for telling me the link didn't work. I think I've fixed it, if anyone is interested. ~S
Editors Note: Thanks Patrick for telling me the link didn't work. I think I've fixed it, if anyone is interested. ~S
Further Proof
That A) Maybe survived her ordeal with the allergy monster
and B) As we suspected, we are raising not a beagle type animal, but a goblin.
and B) As we suspected, we are raising not a beagle type animal, but a goblin.
Drama Queen
Maybe has been getting in trouble a lot for stealing stuff out of the assorted trash cans and eating panties, so today in total retribution for our rude behavior, she punished us, by scaring us to death. We got home from work and she went outside as usual, Justin tucked me into bed for a nap (before my real bed time, I've been splitting my sleep into 4 ish hour increments) and then he left and let her out again. About 20 minutes after I fell asleep I heard him shouting for me, sounding really scared, so I ran into the office and he was sitting on the floor with Maybe, who looked a little puffy....He rolled her over and she had huge hives all over the skin that wasn't covered in hair, her eyes were red and watery she was totally lethargic, except for frequent head shakes (because of itchy ears) and as I said, she was puffed up like a marshmallow. Allergies. We do not know to what, but we assume that while she was outside that something bit her or that she ate something she shouldn't have. (That being her standard MO.) I gave her 25 mg of benadryl and called the vet who told me that that was the right thing and to wait for half an hour for it to work, and if she wasn't better to bring her in. So we sat around staring at her for awhile and when it looked like she wasn't puffy anymore I brought her to bed with me to monitor her breathing. When I woke up this afternoon she was much better. Just a little groggy from the benadryl, but I'm totally ok with a groggy dog.
So, that's the news this morning.
Refreshing!
After living in a house for nearly 2 years without a shower (which does not mean that I didn't take showers, note the difference), I am proud to be able to post this picture:
How's that for fresh faced?
Nothing Interesting
Same old boring stuff. I wish we could find a place in Lubbock with better than decent, remotely affordable sushi. Justin starts back to school in a little over a week. I think he's excited about it. This is his last semester of filler (ie, algebra, speech) before he can move on to the radiology program, but because they only take applications for the program at the end of the spring semester, he's going to have to take one more semester of filler before then anyway. I guess that's all. I really have nothing to say, but it's been awhile so....there ya go.
Brainwashed?
"I must not shift, alter or hide myself in order to experience love -- because that's not really love -- that's when resentment is born."
Sabrina Ward Harrison
So, I recently read the autobiography of a fat girl, (like myself) who "overcame" her compulsive eating (which I don't have) and lost a bunch of weight and lived happily ever after. Ok that's fine the story was interesting, but the thing is, throughout the book she feels bad about herself. She believes that she has no value because of her size. She believes that no one will ever love her or value her just because she's fat. She never dates, she assumes that people don't want to be around her because of the way she looks, even though she has nice features, a pretty face, an incredible job...
So, now, I'm watching Cold Case on TNT. The team is investigating the death of a fat girl who signed up for a dating service in the 80's and subsequently turned up dead. When they find her tape in the apartment of a guy, recently deceased, they assume that either a) he has guilt about killing her 20 years ago, or b) he has some kind of "fetish." That he couldn't possibly be interested in her, or be attracted to her in any way, because she's a "specific kind of girl."
Ok, I'm this specific kind of girl. I don't have the feelings that the girl in the book had about herself. I don't think I'm worthless because of my weight. I know that I'm a pretty girl. I've never had any trouble finding someone to date. I never assumed that anyone was with me because they had some sort of "fat fetish." Yeah, I'd like to lose some weight, mostly because I want to have a healthy pregnancy in the next 5 years or so, but I don't think being skinny would change my life.
The thing is, I keep seeing this theme repeat, in tv, the movies, books: No one really wants a fat girl. It's shameful to be overweight. If you're fat, you should at least pretend to be on a diet in front of people. Always order a salad if you're out with people. I'm starting to wonder if I should feel these things. I mean, should I be ashamed of who I am? Should I stop letting people take my picture? By believing that I'm attractive, am I somehow delusional? I feel like by feeling relatively good about myself, most of the time, that I'm doing something wrong. So now I'm feeling kind of conflicted about what I'm supposed to think and feel about me. I dunno, it's just been on my mind lately.
Do I
Put off "get the hell away from me and leave me alone" vibes? It's been mentioned. I certainly don't intend to, but it might explain why I haven't had a friend within 100 miles of me in a couple of years...
Ahem...memememe
Taken from Terroni
Are you taller than your mother?
Umm I think so, but I look shorter because I'm fatter.
What color is your car?
We have two. Mine is happy-blue, and broken right now. Justin's is red.
If you instantly become qualified for any profession, what would you do?
A lawyer. Defending the wrongfully accused and perhaps working with the ACLU. If only law school was free and didn't require a PE credit.
What is your ring-tone?
It just rings. I find that the songs get very old very fast particularly if you hear them in your head and dive for the phone even when it's not ringing.
Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Ew ticks. fleas. mosquitoes. Any bloodsucker really.
The last person you rode an elevator with?
Justin I'm sure.
Did you go ice skating as a kid?
No. I can't even seem to walk without falling down. Ice is not a good idea.
Last person you had an argument with.
Justin
Ever have stitches?
I had some staples in my elbow once, but not any stitches.
Favorite non alcoholic drink?
Diet Pepsi with a lime
How long ago did you kiss someone?
About 5 minutes ago. mmm
Ever caught something on fire?
Frequently, but not recently. The most memorable was a wok
Ever seen the northern lights?
No...someday, I hope.
Would you be a surrogate mother, carry a baby for someone else?
Nope. I never, ever want to be pregnant.
Ever been in a fight?
Not for a very long time.
Wearing nail polish?
My toenails are kind of lilac colored but I don't like to paint my fingernails
Innie or outie?
I'm assuming this is referring to my belly button, which is officially classified as an "innie" but is really more of a belly dent.
Ever used a Ouija board?
No. My parents think it's communing with the devil. Strangely it's probably one of the only things my mom and dad agree on. I don't believe in the devil, but if he is real, I doubt Parker Brothers has that sort of connections.
Sweet or sour?
Sour. Pucker Up.
Sun or Moon?
In the past I would have always said the moon. Now, I work at night and I miss the sun. As it turns out I'm really a "mid-afternoon" girl.
What shoes did you wear today?
Black flip flops. It's time to throw them away. They smell like glucose. I don't know why.
Favorite eye color of the opposite sex?
Brown
Most important quality in a relationship.
I stole this from Terroni, who stole it from David Sedaris, who I love.
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings..
So, my answer is discretion.
Nap today?
As soon as The View is over. They are announcing the new moderator today.
Time of day that you were born?
Around 2:15 pm. See I told you I'm an early afternoon girl.
Do you know your blood type?
B- How average.
Name something annoying about public transit?
We don't have any.
Did you grow up in a city or in the country?
Sort of a suburb.
Consider going on a reality show for a large amount of money?
It would have to be a very large amount of money. I'd rather go on a game show.
Flown in your dreams?
No, but I fall off curbs a lot. In my dreams as well as my reality.
Whats the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
I dunno... I think food in general, particularly kinds of meat and seafood are pretty weird.
Hugs or kisses?
Hugs. Snuggling in particular
What was the best night out of your life? Lurid details please!
This question brings out my pouty face. I don't know why.
Whats your favourite item of clothing?
My black tube top.
What form of dancing are you best (or worse) at?
I'm a really phenomenally bad dancer. Not good at all.
Would you at any time of your life have done playboy for a million?
If they wanted me badly enough to offer me a million dollars then sure I'd do it. But I'm pretty sure they would go out of business.
Gold or silver?
Silver, but I'm trying to ease into some gold without looking all Jersey girl.
If you joined the circus, what would you be?
*frown* The fat lady. Better than the bearded lady I guess. ;)
Do you have a criminal record?
Yes, but hopefully it's going away.
What item of make-up can you not live with out?
I could definitely live make-up free, but would prefer not to go to work without mascara.
Slurpee flavor?
Coconut mmmmhh
Are you taller than your mother?
Umm I think so, but I look shorter because I'm fatter.
What color is your car?
We have two. Mine is happy-blue, and broken right now. Justin's is red.
If you instantly become qualified for any profession, what would you do?
A lawyer. Defending the wrongfully accused and perhaps working with the ACLU. If only law school was free and didn't require a PE credit.
What is your ring-tone?
It just rings. I find that the songs get very old very fast particularly if you hear them in your head and dive for the phone even when it's not ringing.
Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Ew ticks. fleas. mosquitoes. Any bloodsucker really.
The last person you rode an elevator with?
Justin I'm sure.
Did you go ice skating as a kid?
No. I can't even seem to walk without falling down. Ice is not a good idea.
Last person you had an argument with.
Justin
Ever have stitches?
I had some staples in my elbow once, but not any stitches.
Favorite non alcoholic drink?
Diet Pepsi with a lime
How long ago did you kiss someone?
About 5 minutes ago. mmm
Ever caught something on fire?
Frequently, but not recently. The most memorable was a wok
Ever seen the northern lights?
No...someday, I hope.
Would you be a surrogate mother, carry a baby for someone else?
Nope. I never, ever want to be pregnant.
Ever been in a fight?
Not for a very long time.
Wearing nail polish?
My toenails are kind of lilac colored but I don't like to paint my fingernails
Innie or outie?
I'm assuming this is referring to my belly button, which is officially classified as an "innie" but is really more of a belly dent.
Ever used a Ouija board?
No. My parents think it's communing with the devil. Strangely it's probably one of the only things my mom and dad agree on. I don't believe in the devil, but if he is real, I doubt Parker Brothers has that sort of connections.
Sweet or sour?
Sour. Pucker Up.
Sun or Moon?
In the past I would have always said the moon. Now, I work at night and I miss the sun. As it turns out I'm really a "mid-afternoon" girl.
What shoes did you wear today?
Black flip flops. It's time to throw them away. They smell like glucose. I don't know why.
Favorite eye color of the opposite sex?
Brown
Most important quality in a relationship.
I stole this from Terroni, who stole it from David Sedaris, who I love.
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings..
So, my answer is discretion.
Nap today?
As soon as The View is over. They are announcing the new moderator today.
Time of day that you were born?
Around 2:15 pm. See I told you I'm an early afternoon girl.
Do you know your blood type?
B- How average.
Name something annoying about public transit?
We don't have any.
Did you grow up in a city or in the country?
Sort of a suburb.
Consider going on a reality show for a large amount of money?
It would have to be a very large amount of money. I'd rather go on a game show.
Flown in your dreams?
No, but I fall off curbs a lot. In my dreams as well as my reality.
Whats the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
I dunno... I think food in general, particularly kinds of meat and seafood are pretty weird.
Hugs or kisses?
Hugs. Snuggling in particular
What was the best night out of your life? Lurid details please!
This question brings out my pouty face. I don't know why.
Whats your favourite item of clothing?
My black tube top.
What form of dancing are you best (or worse) at?
I'm a really phenomenally bad dancer. Not good at all.
Would you at any time of your life have done playboy for a million?
If they wanted me badly enough to offer me a million dollars then sure I'd do it. But I'm pretty sure they would go out of business.
Gold or silver?
Silver, but I'm trying to ease into some gold without looking all Jersey girl.
If you joined the circus, what would you be?
*frown* The fat lady. Better than the bearded lady I guess. ;)
Do you have a criminal record?
Yes, but hopefully it's going away.
What item of make-up can you not live with out?
I could definitely live make-up free, but would prefer not to go to work without mascara.
Slurpee flavor?
Coconut mmmmhh
Something Scary
In the News:July 19, 2007
Bush Outlaws All War Protest In US
In one of his most chilling moves to date against his own citizens, the American War Leader has issued a sweeping order this week outlawing all forms of protest against the Iraq war.
President Bush enacted into US law an ‘Executive Order’ on July 17th titled “Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq."
It says: ”By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, as amended, the National Emergencies Act , and section 301 of title 3, United States Code, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that, due to the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States posed by acts of violence threatening the peace and stability of Iraq and undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq and to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people, it is in the interests of the United States to take additional steps with respect to the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 of May 22, 2003, and expanded in Executive Order 13315 of August 28, 2003, and relied upon for additional steps taken in Executive Order 13350 of July 29, 2004, and Executive Order 13364 of November 29, 2004.”
They've already started arresting protesters and taking their stuff. Like, all of it, guard your flip flops people! I'm waiting patiently for the day when some other government will step in and bring democracy to the United States...what?...we have that?? Wait...did you just say that we are in fact "setting an example of democracy" for the rest of the world? Pshhaw who are you kidding??
I Apologize in Advance
Because I don't really have anything to say, but feel that I should post something, since it's been nearly a week. I may end up rambling so feel free to zone out at any time.Enjoy the gratuitous picture of Nikaia practicing her island dancing
My ankle is somewhat better, badly bruised just below my ankle, kind of deep dark purple, and then a larger, fist sized bruise up further just below my calf. I think the ace bandage has caused this, but Justin disagrees and says that that sort of pressure wouldn't cause this sort of bruise. I don't know why he knows that. I'm still supposed to go get an x-ray to make sure there's not a hairline fracture, but I'm hesitant to do this, as we have not yet met the deductible on our insurance so the cost will be out of pocket, and we really can't afford that right now. Besides, if it is a hairline fracture, won't they basically just make me do what I'm doing now ie: staying off of it, wearing a splint etc?
My sister has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I agreed to do this, thinking that it would cause more problems to decline, I don't want to insult anyone or anything, but the thing is, I'm having a really hard time finding a dress that a) fits b) is the correct color (brown) and c) is even remotely affordable. Her other bridesmaid (who I don't know) snagged one at JCPenney for around $35. Unfortunately, JCPenney hasn't carried anything in my size since I was in high school. I dunno, there's a month and a half til the wedding, but I'm starting to wonder if I should bow out.
If we can scrounge around enough money I think we're going to see Harry Potter tomorrow, or maybe Hairspray if my aunt goes with us...that's all for now. I guess I did have something to say...
About Once a Year
I sprain an ankle. Last year it happened a few weeks before the wedding, so I guess it was due. We went to my parents for dinner last night (where, I might add someone finally put up a picture of me and Justin), and after eating my sister and I were going to come over here to my house to get her some antacid and the perfume I got for her for her birthday. Stepping out the front door, which has a small step down to the ground, I'm not sure what happened but when I put my foot down my right ankle just sort of crumpled up. Luckily there were a whole handful of people around with several different levels of medical training to give me ice and radio for an ambulance and keep me from hyperventilating. This is the worst sprain I've ever had. It feels sort of like nothing is holding my foot on except skin and that it's just sort of flopping around down there. I'm in an ace bandage and an aircast for extra stability and D'Liesa is bringing me some crutches later today. I don't usually ask for pain meds, and I didn't last night either, but when I got out of Xray they had sent Justin to the pharmacy so I've got two different pain killers, both of which make me drowsy. I slept amazingly well last night. They think I might have a hairline fracture but I'll have to go for another xray when the swelling goes down later this week... I'll let you know.
A Failure.
Upon further consideration they decided not to give me the job.
I feel worthless.
I don't want to talk about it.
I feel worthless.
I don't want to talk about it.
Sniff Snort Sneeze
Today is the local "festival" known as Early Settler's Day. I usually get really excited and want to go downtown to watch the parade and eat the junk, and buy some stuff, but this year I'm just totally not motivated. I actually slept through the parade, due to an overdose of Flonase, Claritin, and and alcohol. (Just one drink, nobody panic.) Anyway, none of those things seemed to help the horrible allergy attack that I've been having for the last 3 days. I feel like my whole body is just full of snot. It's not pleasant.
Tonight was supposed to be my last night at my current job, I had actually planned to just not go in, since they didn't accept my two week notice as an actual 2 week notice, thanks to the jerk that took my paperwork, and I'll be considered "not rehire-able" anyway. However, the hospital (and everyone involved in this process) seems to be dragging their feet. They haven't gotten the results of my drug-test and background check back yet, and the HR woman is out of town so I won't know anything 'til Tuesday. I don't want to be potentially jobless, so I've extended my notice by another week and I'll continue slaving away until then. Assuming that everything is clear. If not (which is a possibility), then I'll have to slave away for the crazy deaf people indefinately. (Please note, I don't think all deaf people are crazy, just the ones that I'm dealing with.)
Ugh. I'm actually starting to get really worried about this so everyone think good thoughts or say prayers or whatever your particular kind of help is that everything works out and I can start at a new and wonderful job sometime next week.
Also, for anyone who might be wondering, my TB test was, as predicted, negative. Have to go for another one on Tuesday just to be extra sure.
Tonight was supposed to be my last night at my current job, I had actually planned to just not go in, since they didn't accept my two week notice as an actual 2 week notice, thanks to the jerk that took my paperwork, and I'll be considered "not rehire-able" anyway. However, the hospital (and everyone involved in this process) seems to be dragging their feet. They haven't gotten the results of my drug-test and background check back yet, and the HR woman is out of town so I won't know anything 'til Tuesday. I don't want to be potentially jobless, so I've extended my notice by another week and I'll continue slaving away until then. Assuming that everything is clear. If not (which is a possibility), then I'll have to slave away for the crazy deaf people indefinately. (Please note, I don't think all deaf people are crazy, just the ones that I'm dealing with.)
Ugh. I'm actually starting to get really worried about this so everyone think good thoughts or say prayers or whatever your particular kind of help is that everything works out and I can start at a new and wonderful job sometime next week.
Also, for anyone who might be wondering, my TB test was, as predicted, negative. Have to go for another one on Tuesday just to be extra sure.
Poked and Prodded
Today I went to HR to fill out the applicable paper work for my new job. On the way I stopped in the bathroom. Hospitals are the best place for that sort of thing because unless something terrible happened the moment before you walked through the door, they are generally clean.Anyway, filled out the paper work and then headed to Employee Health to get my TB test and drug screening. Damn. Shouldn't have gone to the bathroom. After three tries I was finally able to um...produce. bleh. While we waited I went ahead and got my pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine, they were, after all, free. I have to go back on Thursday for them to look at my TB arm and then the next Tuesday to get it tested all over again. Hopefully by then I will already be working and it'll just be a short trip down the hall. I have no idea when I'll actually start, but my last day at my current job is Thursday...so hopefully Monday. I also don't know how much I'm getting paid. I assume they'll tell me at some point, but right now, no one seems to know so I'm not the only one in the dark.
I have to go to bed now. My whooping cough arm really hurts.
Just an added note, I have never seen anything that color in a syringe before. Are any IV drugs neon blue? Must be Kool-Aid.
An Orphan
So, as most of you know, we live next door to my dad, step-mom and younger brother and sister. In their living room is a table that is covered with family pictures, the whole thing, there are probably 15 or 20 pics there. Over the weekend they had some friends in town staying with them, and one of the friends is a photographer. She took some pictures of my step-sister in her wedding dress and some pictures of her two kids, Hannah and Hunter, and she was going to take some pics of my dad, Sussan and my brother in their fire department regalia. So today I was over there and the pictures on the table have been updated with the new pictures. There are pictures of my dad and Sussan, pictures of Hannah and Hunter, Pictures of Stacy and Steven and pictures of D'Liesa and James. There is not one picture of me. There is not one picture of me and Justin. I know that they have some. I gave my dad a framed picture of him walking me down the aisle at my wedding. They also have a non wedding picture of me and Justin together that looks like the other 700 pictures of me and Justin, several of which have been posted here. And, if for some reason they have lost those, like I said, there are lots available all they have to do is ask. So, I asked about it. I said "Hey the new pictures look great, but there's not a picture of me in there." I didn't make a big deal about it, just mentioned it in passing while looking at the other pictures. Immediately Sussan went defensive saying that she wasn't "finished yet" putting the pics on the table. Trust me, there's not room for another picture there, besides, what was there to finish? They already had the pictures, in frames. So my feelings were really hurt.
But it gets worse. I was flipping through the albums of their new pictures from over the weekend, and there is a picture of D'Liesa, Sussan and Stacy. Sort of an "all the girls" pic, but um, I'm not in it. They said " oh you're not in the pictures because you weren't here," but I was there yesterday. If they had planned on taking family pictures I feel like they should have told me. I feel like I'm not a member of the family anymore and it really really hurts my feelings.
It's not just the pictures either, their friends don't know about me. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, or to feel bad about, but the thing is, they all do know Stacy, Steven and D'Liesa and her kids. When I went to the party at the fire station on the 4th of July people didn't know who I was. I'm now "Stacy and Steven's sister" instead of "Susan" or "Bobby's daughter." At a community function with my dad a few weeks ago, a woman actually said something like "oh I didn't know you had another daughter."
My feelings are so hurt. I don't feel like I can talk to my dad about it because I know that he'll just take Sussan's side. I actually did ask him about the picture thing a few weeks ago (there hasn't been a pic displayed of me in about a year), I said "hey, where's that picture of you and me that I gave you? It's not on the family table" and he said that it was on his night stand, but it wasn't, and when I told him that he couldn't think of where it might be.
The worst part is that they made me put a picture of Sussan up on my family picture magnet board. I was resistant to doing that because I don't have a picture of my step-dad up there, so I thought that was fair. Apparently not. She had a fit and so now there's a pic of her in my house, but not one of me in hers. I feel very very rejected. *sigh*
My dad and Sussan have been married for half my life now, and they always pretend that everything is equal and that we're one big happy family with no "steps" involved, but It's becoming very very clear that she's functioning under an "us versus them" mentality. I guess it was clear all along, but she's becoming bolder in the way that she's making her statements and I don't know what to do about it...
Actually, now that I think about it, it's really more of an "us versus Susan" kind of thing. I don't think I'm going to go over any more. My dad can come see me here.
But it gets worse. I was flipping through the albums of their new pictures from over the weekend, and there is a picture of D'Liesa, Sussan and Stacy. Sort of an "all the girls" pic, but um, I'm not in it. They said " oh you're not in the pictures because you weren't here," but I was there yesterday. If they had planned on taking family pictures I feel like they should have told me. I feel like I'm not a member of the family anymore and it really really hurts my feelings.
It's not just the pictures either, their friends don't know about me. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, or to feel bad about, but the thing is, they all do know Stacy, Steven and D'Liesa and her kids. When I went to the party at the fire station on the 4th of July people didn't know who I was. I'm now "Stacy and Steven's sister" instead of "Susan" or "Bobby's daughter." At a community function with my dad a few weeks ago, a woman actually said something like "oh I didn't know you had another daughter."
My feelings are so hurt. I don't feel like I can talk to my dad about it because I know that he'll just take Sussan's side. I actually did ask him about the picture thing a few weeks ago (there hasn't been a pic displayed of me in about a year), I said "hey, where's that picture of you and me that I gave you? It's not on the family table" and he said that it was on his night stand, but it wasn't, and when I told him that he couldn't think of where it might be.
The worst part is that they made me put a picture of Sussan up on my family picture magnet board. I was resistant to doing that because I don't have a picture of my step-dad up there, so I thought that was fair. Apparently not. She had a fit and so now there's a pic of her in my house, but not one of me in hers. I feel very very rejected. *sigh*
My dad and Sussan have been married for half my life now, and they always pretend that everything is equal and that we're one big happy family with no "steps" involved, but It's becoming very very clear that she's functioning under an "us versus them" mentality. I guess it was clear all along, but she's becoming bolder in the way that she's making her statements and I don't know what to do about it...
Actually, now that I think about it, it's really more of an "us versus Susan" kind of thing. I don't think I'm going to go over any more. My dad can come see me here.
Happy 4th
I enjoy Independence Day mainly because it's the only holiday that can be referred to only as a number. We aren't doing anything special, I'm going to the fire department for a hot dog (my dad's a fireman, I'm not just showing up to crash their party), and then I'll probably go back to bed. We have to work later tonight and I'll need a little more sleep, but who can resist a hot dog cooked outside? Certainly not me.I put in my 2 week notice at my current job this morning. I dated it July 2, which is a little bit of a lie, but no member of management has been there since then anyway so whatever. I'm scheduled for my TB test on Tuesday. Not that I think I have TB but I'm the sort of hypochondriac that has thought processes like this:
"There was that guy in Alabama recently who didn't feel sick or anything and by some fluke, like a car wreck or something, he had a chest x-ray and they found a lump of TB in his lung the size of a baseball...and here I've been coughing for a *year*!! I'm going to die!!! And lose this job!!!"
And then I have some cake and feel better, with no guilt regarding my neurosis (or sugar intake) at all.
That's a true story by the way, the baseball TB guy. And that's exactly the way I heard it too...does TB come in lumps??
Didn't get the fireworks picture last night. A recent break in my insomnia has occurred at a rather inopportune time and I slept til time to go to work. Maybe tomorrow...anyway they'll be here when I get them. For now, you can pretend the one that is on here is mine, even though it most certainly isn't.
Beverly Sills has died. There aren't many great ones left...
I Got It!
The job that is. Yes, it's been quite the busy week. On Thursday I had an interview at the hospital for a job to be different than what I thought it was. The people didn't seem to like me and I was totally not interested in the job so I figured it was mutual and that I'd never hear from them again. While I was at the hospital, I went and turned my application in directly to the supervisor of the department that I wanted to work in and she was quite impressed. She set me up for an interview on the spot for the next day. Then the supervisor at the cancer center where I thought I might want to work called me and set up an interview for Tuesday (today). My cup runneth over.
Thursday night the people whose job I didn't want called and offered it to me. Apparently they liked me after all. Huh.
Friday I went to interview in the department that I liked and it was *terrific* the best interview I've ever had. One member of the panel hugged me. They told me to wait in the lobby while they talked about me and then a few minutes later they came and told me that they wanted to hire me but had to clear it with the management people and that they would call me.
It was a Friday so of course all the management types went home at noon. I had to wait out the weekend, as you saw, in my previous post. Yesterday they called and offered me the job Yaaay!!! I wanted it so bad. The people there are so great and I really feel like I fit in there and will be happy. I haven't felt like that since I moved away from Canyon 3 years ago. The job is in the admissions office and there are only about 10 people working there so its cozy and they bring a lot of food for impromptu parties. My kinda place, plus they like me...like a lot. Clearly they think I'm much cooler than I actually am.
So, today I had to go to the interview set up last week because even though I got the job I wanted, its good to make connections in as many places as you can. My little (excuse me, younger) brother works at the cancer center and I thought that if I liked the job and liked the people that it would save some gas to work over there. It was not the job that I applied for, and I did not like the people. That made my decision much easier. Not that they've offered me the job yet, but they will.
Anyway I'm really happy and excited and I get to buy some fancy black scrubs.
Justin and I are going to attempt to take some pictures with fireworks tonight so everyone hope that we don't set ourselves on fire.
Thursday night the people whose job I didn't want called and offered it to me. Apparently they liked me after all. Huh.
Friday I went to interview in the department that I liked and it was *terrific* the best interview I've ever had. One member of the panel hugged me. They told me to wait in the lobby while they talked about me and then a few minutes later they came and told me that they wanted to hire me but had to clear it with the management people and that they would call me.
It was a Friday so of course all the management types went home at noon. I had to wait out the weekend, as you saw, in my previous post. Yesterday they called and offered me the job Yaaay!!! I wanted it so bad. The people there are so great and I really feel like I fit in there and will be happy. I haven't felt like that since I moved away from Canyon 3 years ago. The job is in the admissions office and there are only about 10 people working there so its cozy and they bring a lot of food for impromptu parties. My kinda place, plus they like me...like a lot. Clearly they think I'm much cooler than I actually am.
So, today I had to go to the interview set up last week because even though I got the job I wanted, its good to make connections in as many places as you can. My little (excuse me, younger) brother works at the cancer center and I thought that if I liked the job and liked the people that it would save some gas to work over there. It was not the job that I applied for, and I did not like the people. That made my decision much easier. Not that they've offered me the job yet, but they will.
Anyway I'm really happy and excited and I get to buy some fancy black scrubs.
Justin and I are going to attempt to take some pictures with fireworks tonight so everyone hope that we don't set ourselves on fire.
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