30 Can Bite Me.

Today, while coloring my hair to get ready for my big Canada trip, I discovered that my roots are almost entirely gray. Seriously? I'm not a baby boomer! I'm the last of the Gen-X'ers! A few gray hairs would be fine, but y'all, I'm Betty Freakin' White. Emphasis on the white. The root touch up stuff might not cut it anymore. There are so many roots now that an entire bottle of color is going to be required. Am I too old now for pink streaks? For multiple ear piercings? OH MY GODS, am I going to have to give up flip-flops? Crap.

Other symptoms of old age:

The arthritis (YES, arthritis!!) in my wrists has gotten so bad that if I paint for a couple of hours, or write with a pen, the pain is so extreme that I have to wear non-flexible wrist braces and take heavy(ish) drugs to keep from weeping.

I think teenage boys have stupid hair.

The music of my adolescence is on the oldies station.

My favorite TV shows from high school and college are on Nick-at-Nite.

 I like hanging out with my parents.

I take a multi-vitamin that doesn't look like a cartoon character.

I use anti-aging moisturizer.

Damn.

Up too Early for Anything Useful

A. Age: 30 (eeeek!)
B. Bed size: Queen. I'd like a king, so that I can sleep diagonally without crowding Marlowe.
C. Chore that you hate:  Laundry. I wouldn't hate it if we had a washer/dryer in the house though.
D. Dogs: Marlowe and Maybe.
E. Essential start to your day:  Diet Coke
F. Favorite color: It changes pretty regularly. Right now I like gray and magenta.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver. Gold makes me look jaundiced.
H. Height: 5’6"
I. Instruments you play: Currently, I don't play anything, but I've dabbled in piano, harp and clarinet.
J. Job title: None. I'm free as a bird right now.
K. Kids: Not for me, but I like them, on an individual basis.
L. Live: Lubbock, Texas.
M. Mother’s name: I have two moms. (Not in the fun, lesbian way. Unfortunately.) They are Sharon and Sussan. In order of appearance in my life.
N. Nicknames: Bee, Susy, Susalou.
O. Overnight hospital stays: One for pneumonia when I was 5 or 6. 

P. Pet peeves: When people ask me for advice and then don't do what I tell them to. Actually, people not doing what I tell them to, in general. I'm bossy.
Q. Quote from a movie:  " I had tempted fate, and fate had accepted." (Sarah, The End of the Affair.) Also: "I hate you, God. I hate you as though you existed!" (Maurice, also from The End of the Affair).
R. Right or left handed: A little of both, but I usually write with my right.
S. Siblings: 4 younger siblings. 2 brothers, two sisters.
T. Time you wake up: Eh, whenever. I seem to be on some sort of cycle. Trying to switch to a day schedule for my trip to Cape Breton.
U. Underwear: Typically, black "hipster" panties.
V. Vegetable you hate: All those weird textured legumes. Lima, wax, butter beans, etc. Blech.
W. What makes you run late: Bad hair days.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Both arms, full back, both legs, ankles...pretty much everything. Someday I'll start glowing.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Chicken tacos, great spaghetti, chicken enchiladas, Poppyseed chicken. Twice baked potatoes.Those are all the things I can make.
Z. Zoo animal: Giraffes are my favorite. I also love llamas, alpacas and okapis. All the things with long necks.

So Much Cooler than Creationism

 I read this today on Augusten Burroughs' home page.  I love, love it. So much better than believing we were created by a nameless, faceless god or gods. Beautiful.

 "The calcium in your bones came from a star. We are all made from recycled bits and pieces of the universe.  This matters because origins matter.

For example, if you were born to a reigning monarch but kidnapped by the black market baby underground shortly after birth and sent to America where you were raised by common, unremarkable people from Ohio, and when you were in your thirties working as a humble UPS driver, dignitaries landed their helicopter on the roof of your crummy apartment building and informed you of their thirty-plus year search for you, His Royal Highness, the course of your life might change.

You know?

Our familial genetic origins -medical histories- inform us of medical conditions which exist in our families and when we know about these specific conditions, we can sometimes take certain actions to prevent them.

Which is why I think it's important to consider that billions of years before we were students and mothers and dog trainers and priests, we were particles that would form into star after star after star until forever passed, and instead of a star what formed was life; simplistic, crude, miraculous.

And after another infinity, there we were.

And this is why for you, anything is possible.

Because you are made out of everything."

The Burning House

If your house were burning, what would you take out with you? (Objects only; assume your people and pets have escaped of their own accord.) Similar to Found and PostSecret, The Burning House allows people to post pictures of what they most need or value. What would you take?  It has inspired me to make my list (and take my picture), but it's also reminded me to make sure that these things are reasonably close together. And to purchase a small external hard drive for my computer to keep in my purse, along with my passport, which is currently residing somewhere at the bottom of my closest.  Here's my stuff:

Clockwise from top:

1.Handbag containing wallet, camera, glasses, passport, etc.
2. Photo of me, age 2 with my dad.
3. Favorite outfit: Orange sundress that gives me perfect boobs. White shrug if it's chilly. Comfy Bra: not shown.
4. Crazy Pills
5. Kindle
6. Cell Phone
7. Box of special memories
8. Laptop.

I made this list under the assumption that I would be wearing something (probably pajamas) and underwear (and wedding ring, duh). Otherwise, those things would obviously be on the list. I'm also assuming that I'd slide on flip flops on my way out the door.

Make your list, take a pic, and send me the link!

Bursting With Pride

Justin graduated from Nursing School last night. It marks the end of three super stressful years and the beginning of our super real lives.He also won the award for mental health nursing. (Probably because he's used to living and dealing with The Crazy.) I have never been more proud of anyone in my life!!

It Happened

I turned 30 on Friday, and, as it turned out, I didn't have a breakdown. Which isn't to say that I wasn't having lots of them during the lead up, but I didn't have one yesterday, and I haven't had one since.

Actually, I'm feeling pretty good. Interesting.

Some Things

1. I was returning a corset by FedEx today. Someone stole it off my porch, and Justin found the corset on the ground by the dumpsters. Box nowhere to be found. I'm ok with the theft, but not the waste. If they didn't want it, couldn't they just have put it back in the box and back on my porch? Could they possibly have been after just the box? Bizarre.

2. I ran out of comfy pajama tops and so slipped a semi-sexy lingerie top on with my regular sleep bottoms. When I saw Justin, I said "look at my sexy pajamas!" He said "is that a swimsuit?" Yeah, it's a real Roman orgy around here folks.

3. Justin got a job!(For when he graduates in May.) He'll be working at Heart Center 5, which is actually a Neuro floor. Hooray for strokes and head injuries! That's what we call job security.

4. If you don't know what "physician" means, you probably shouldn't be getting pregnant. I'm just sayin'.

5. Last week Justin saw a streaker in our apartment complex. He ran around naked, and then jumped off the balcony into the swimming pool. (He also didn't die, which was my first question.) We live in a weird place.

6. Vittoria: I still love my haircut and glasses and teeth. It's already time for a color touch up and a trim though, which is slightly more commitment to style than I usually like. The short hair also makes super cute pigtails.

Sofa Time

I sort of feel like dancing tonight. Unfortunate, as it's already past midnight, and I haven't spent enough time out of bed today to even shower, much less apply the amount of glittery eye shadow required for a night on the town. Instead I'm settling for popcorn and Ally McBeal. It sounds sad, but really, this is one of my favorite ways to spend a Saturday night. I am officially old. And, for the moment, weirdly content with my life.

A Medical Failure

Sometimes, when a patient has a serious brain injury or seizure disorder, doctors will put them into a barbiturate coma. This (for complicated medical reasons) allows the brain to heal. Occasionally, a medically induced coma is applied for other serious injuries, to protect the patient from unbearable pain. The patient eventually wakes up and has basically slept through the worst thing that's ever happened to them.
It seems like this is a tactic that could (and should) be used for emotional devastation as well. "A broken heart, you say? We'll let you sleep it off. When you wake up, you'll be right as rain."  Unfortunately, even if the medical community was willing to do such a thing, it wouldn't work. A person could sleep indefinitely, but when they woke up, the pain of heartbreak would still feel fresh. 

Someone should do something about that.

New Year, New Life

Over New Year's weekend, Justin (and my parents) and I packed and moved like maniacs, in the 3 days that our landlord gave us to find a place and get out. It was a bit of a nightmare, and for awhile, it looked like we might have to live with my parents for a month or two, but in the end, it worked out. We have a new apartment, which feels more like home than anywhere I've lived in years and years. It's beautiful, and will end up being cheaper than the craptastic place we were living in. I am completely in love with this place! Overall, I'm happier than I've been since we moved (back) to Levelland 6 years ago. Who knew that a 30 mile move could do that? I love that we live 10 minutes from my job. I love that we're 10 minutes from Target, and real restaurants, and my doctors' offices. Justin will finish school in May, and I think this is (finally!) the year when our lives really start. Seeing as I'll be 30 (eep!!) then, it's about damn time.

My theme song for this year is Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine. It begins:

Happiness  hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back

She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled...
 

I'm not gonna run from happiness any more. The dog days are over.

Smack

I don't believe in spanking (a very unpopular opinion in this area). That's not really what this post is about, but it is related, so I'll just come out and say it. Psychiatrists agree. Spanking children is an ineffective punishment that does more harm than good. It's hypocritical to tell a child "don't hit," and then hit him. I realize that there's a difference between "regular" spanking and abuse, and I don't judge the parents who choose it as punishment. It's just not for me. Luckily, I don't/won't have children.

 Moving on. When I was teaching regularly at the high school here, students who were in trouble for one reason or another were given a choice between detention and "swats." Invariably, they chose swats. Teenagers have stuff to do. Detention takes at least an hour after school; Swats take only a few minutes. The thing is, I'm pretty sure that spanking isn't an appropriate punishment for teenagers. If a person can:

1. Drive

2. Get Pregnant/get someone pregnant

or

3. Work for a paycheck

spanking is assault. One adult cannot tell another person who is, for all intents and purposes also an adult, to bend over so that they can whack them across the ass. Unless, you know, they're in a very specific kind of relationship. When the people in question are a middle aged man and a comely teenage girl, the situation is practically the opening scene for cheap pornography. Perhaps someone should mention that to the school district.

{Editor's Note: I am not saying that anything inappropriate is going on in this school district. No one has ever breathed a word about any kind of sexual misconduct, as far as I know. The staff and administration are excellent at their jobs, and generally good people. I just think that they should look into what could possibly be assumed by those with less wholesome intentions and perhaps reconsider their position on corporal punishment, at least for those over the age of 10.}

Bad Days

I should have known it was going to be a bad day when I woke up with a tick on my arm. I believe in signs and superstition and luck, and recently, my luck has been a bit on the bad side. I'm not exactly sure what it is in my karmic past that's causing all these disasters, but it must have been a doozy.

After getting dressed, I opened the door to leave for work (late), to find an eviction notice from the landlord (if rent isn't paid by Friday), and a disconnect notice from the gas company (if the gas wasn't paid before 8am, today.) As I drove to work, the road was littered with a slew of roadkill, including a gigantic snake. Another bad sign. Great. Work is kind of my safe haven, and I'm not used to dreading it, but with the bloody highway, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The bad didn't disappoint. We had a terribly sad case last night (which I can't discuss here. HIPPA, you know). We were completely out of charts, on every unit, so I wasn't able to be as productive as I like to be. And there was a terrible, vinegar smell, coming from somewhere, which we couldn't find to get rid of. Also, my scrubs smelled like gasoline and something that I ate for dinner was so hot (spice, not temperature) that it left burns/blisters on the inside of my lips and under my tongue. I suppose I should count myself lucky that the heat didn't ignite my gasoliney scrubs.
 Justin called to tell me that his truck has stopped working and that he sold his Xbox to pay the gas bill and for gas/grocery money. That still leaves the rent (and potential car repairs). Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Covenant Compassion woman to fill out the paperwork for a loan to cover our rent. Everything -will be- ok, but right now, it feels very tense.

It's not all bad, despite appearances. Justin got a grant to cover his summer class, which was one of our biggest stresses. We have electricity and water and food, which are the important things. Justin's going to get a summer job at UMC, and hopefully that will help our situation.

Anyway, that's where we are now.