Our corkscrew has gone missing. I think Justin wandered off with it and that it will turn up under his bed or in his medicine cabinet or on his bookcase. He thinks I threw it away. In any case, it is gone, and this is Not Good. We enjoy wine with our dinner and with popcorn on Netflix Night, and I really do not want to resort to boxed wines. -shudder-
I called my dad last night to see if they had a corkscrew we could borrow. He said that he did, so I headed over there. As definitive proof that the people in that household DO NOT DRINK, he handed me, not a corkscrew, but a cork, from one of Sussan's "decorative" wine bottles. (Read: wine bottles left over from wine consumed by the heathen children.)
Justin, having anticipated my parents' lack of a cork removing device, already had a Plan B. He used a screwdriver to put a screw into the cork, then used a hammer to pry the screw, with cork attached, out of the bottle. That, my friends, is The South's contribution to society: the redneck corkscrew.
[Editor's Note: Justin says that he prefers to think of this device not as a redneck corkscrew, but as a MacGyver corkscrew. It not being made out of a rubber band, paperclip and duct tape, I'm sticking with the original name. Also, if you search Youtube there are about a hundred clips of this procedure, all labled "Redneck corkscrew."]