Mean Girls

I've been telling Justin for years that the reason it's hard for me to gather up a gaggle of girlfriends is that girls don't generally like other girls. It's just a fact of life. Justin never believes me. On a good day he says it's because I'm too shy, on a bad day, he says it's because I'm too cold, and send out a "get the hell away from me" vibe. I maintain that it's just because girls (me especially) are threatened or intimidated by other girls and no one needs to add that sort of stress into their lives. (Friendship is possible if they actually take the time to get to know one another, which hardly ever happens, because no one has time to get to know someone that they don't like. They have of course decided within about 2 minutes whether they like each other or not. It's a vicious cycle.) I suspect that when John McCain told Cindy that he was choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate in order to get the women's vote she said "Sweetheart, that will never work. Women don't like other women," to which I'm sure he responded "that's just your experience, because you're too cold honey."

Even without all of the mistakes that she's made since being picked, (and there have been plenty) women sort of had it out for Palin from the moment their husband/boyfriend/boss first said "wow, she's hot." Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending Palin, just pointing out what a bad choice she was to begin with. Oh, and that John McCain should listen to his wife more often.

Anyway, as if she was reading my mind, Belinda Luscombe wrote this in Time Magazine today:

What the Democrats learned during the primaries and the Republicans might now be finding out the hard way, I learned at my very academic, well-regarded all-girls high school: that is never to discount the ability of women to open a robust, committed, well-thought-out vat of hatred for another girl.

Women are weapons-grade haters. Hillary Clinton knows it. Palin knows it too. When women get their hate on, they don't just dislike, or find disfavor with, or sort of not really appreciate. They loathe — deeply, richly, sustainingly. I do not say this to disparage my gender; women also love in more or less the same way.

When men disagree, the steps to resolution are reasonably clear and unsophisticated. Acts of physical violence are visited upon one another's person or property, and the whole thing blows over. Women? Nu-unh. We savor the discord. We draw it out. We share our contempt with our friends, like a useful stock tip, or really good salsa. And then we all go hate together: a mutually encouraging group activity for when the book group gets quiet.

The hatred women have for Sarah Palin, and others had for Hillary before her, is not necessarily about politics. It's a simple three-point pass-fail exam: Will the other girls like her?


PS: One exception to the "girls have an unlimited supply of hate rule" is Amanda. She doesn't have mean in her anywhere.

Also, please note what a nice picture of Governor Palin that I used up there. That should unruffle some feathers.


Amanda said...

that was a fantastic post! haha... oh Susan... I do have mean in me, just never ever towards you my sweet friend!

Terroni said...

Good post, S.
And I loathe Sarah Palin.

Amanda, no you don't. Not even an ounce of mean. It's okay, though. I'm mean enough for both of us. :)