Tradio

Most of the time I don't like living in a small town. Everyone knows my dad, so I have to watch what I say (or buy...) in the drugstore, there's no take out Chinese (which is practically medieval) and nothing is open after 9pm. (Except, naturally, the Super Wal-Mart. Ew.) However, occasionally something so fantastically small-town-Texas comes along that makes it totally worth it that my first grade teacher knows exactly what kind of birth control I use.

Tradio is one of those things. It works basically like newspaper want-ads, except that it's on the radio, and instead of just paying for advertising by the dj, people get to call in and say what they've got (or what they want) in their own words. It's the most entertaining thing ever, and I really wish I could put some little recorded clip from the show on here, but I can't, so you're going to have to bear with me while I try to insert the appropriate rural Texas accents here.

"yee-ahh...Ah have a 1999 (nahn ten nahtee nahyn) Ford pick up truck fer sayle. Lookin' fer 8000 (eyght thousayund) or yer best offer on thayt. Y'all can call me at uh...806-555-1212."

Ok, so that's your typical call in ad. The real beauty of Tradio comes though, when someone is both selling something and wanting to buy something. Mostly because the things never seem to relate to each other in any way. It's too hard to type the accent, so on this one, do it yourself, just add one or two extra syllables to every word.

"Hi, I have six bales of hay for sale, I'd like a thousand dollars on those and I'm looking for an aquarium."

Or this one, which makes more sense:

"I have a wedding dress for sale, it's never been worn. It's a size six and strapless with a cathedral train. Also, I'd like to buy myself a crib and a stroller."

Fabulous.