Disaster.

So, in an effort to get Justin's mom to talk to us and try to find a good compromise on this whole wedding thing, I sent a letter. The letter was approved as inoffensive and eloquent by both Justin and my Aunt (who specializes in these delicate situations). We all agreed that if they wouldn't talk to us, then it was the only way to make them understand where we were coming from.

So this morning, his parents called infuriated. His mom called me a bitch (or something that sounded very similar to that), and said that the letter was disrespectful. They are still mad about the Catholic thing, they are still mad about the date, and they still feel like paying 1/3 for the cost of the reception (which will be around $200 for their part) is too much, even though my parents are spending waaaaay more on decor and cake and chairs and invitations...etc. So, after a huge fight on the phone, in which one of them hung up on Justin, he called them back and told them that they are no longer invited and that he hopes he never has to see them again. This is a disaster.

I am so angry!! I feel like they are intentionally trying to ruin something that is important to us. For the past 30 years, all Justin's mom has had to do to get her way is to throw a fit and everyone is scared of her so they cave. I refuse to play that game. It is too late to change the date of the wedding, and quite frankly, we dont want to. Justin is worried about what my family will think of him, and of our relationship, if no one from his family comes to the wedding. I don't want my family to have to absorb the extra money from the cost of the reception since they are already paying so much anyway, and we are certainly not having just a cake and punch reception. There has to be food. I watch "A Wedding Story" I know how it's supposed to be in civilized society. I already feel like we are making too many compromises...the wedding, as it stands, is already a much different affair than what I've been dreaming about...

The only other option is to cancel the wedding. Luckily, the dress hasn't shipped yet, so they will issue a refund on that, and if I call tomorrow we can cancel the invitations and get a refund on those as well. We haven't ordered the cake, and everything else I think we can return. This really sucks.

So, wait for further updates, and I'll let everyone know when we have our small private ceremony in the ministers office. *sigh*

2 comments:

Annabel said...

I am so sorry to hear things aren't going well. Don't let anyone ruin your wedding day. Have it they way you want. Do keep us informed.

Patrick Goodman said...

I agree with Annabel. It's your wedding, you should do it the way you guys want to do it.