Possible Side Effects

So, I've been having a some pain in my neck and shoulder, (probably from the uncomfortable way I'm forced to sleep at work when I'm supposed to be awake and fully engaged in the life of a deaf drug dealer, but I digress....) and so yesterday I finally gave into Justin's demands that I "take something already and stop whining." We happen to have a wide assortment of medications lying around because one of us is always sick or hurt or interested in the possible side effects of a drug we saw on TV so there was no need to run out to the drugstore. Justin brought me a Tramadol, which they market as a pain reliever, but it's really an opioid. In other words, my shoulder would still hurt, but I wouldn't much care.

Apparently the makers of Tramadol believe that the best possible way to make someone forget about their pain is to make them itch all over and provide frequent and entertaining auditory hallucinations. I slept for about 5 hours (possible side effect: drowsiness) but the entire time I heard the noise that school buses make (you know, that air-brake noise) outside my window. There was also one brief and startling moment when, I swear to god, Johnny Depp leaned over me and whispered something (which I naturally can't recall) in my ear. (I'm pretty sure the constant, high-pitched kitten mewing was real.) Anyway, I'm sore again tonight, this time from thrashing around (I prefer to call it interpretive dance) while Justin played Guitar Hero last night. This time I'm going to try Relafen, which is an anti-inflammatory. It promises to avoid the sound effects and just make me nauseated. Cheers!