So I don't know if I'm going to keep this blog anymore. I feel like there are too many restrictions on what I can say here. Even when I say something that I think is completely innocuous, somebody always takes it out of context, and feelings get hurt or people get mad, and then I get mad and it's just a whole big deal.

I'm very upset about this, because I love my blog, and I love feeling like I'm connected in some small way to other people. I love the comments, I love looking at my site-meter and seeing that people are reading my blog, I like seeing the crazy things that people search for in order to find me. I think that without posting here, I'll feel a little lonely (if that makes any sense), but I hate having to edit my posts dozens of times to make sure that nothing I say can be misinterpreted, and I haven't decided yet whether the happiness I get here is worth the trouble that it sometimes causes.

And yeah, I know that if I just wanted to write, I could do it in a journal, or keep a blog that's author-only (which I also have), but what I enjoy about this blog is the feedback, and the semi-social aspect of it. So, for now, I don't know, but I wanted to post about it, and see if anyone has any thoughts, or solutions for me on this. See, feedback.


Terroni said...

Well, I think you have a few options...you could keep it and tell the hurt, mad folks to buck up, or lighten up, or both.

You could move to wordpress and password protect some of your posts. I know a blogger (Sinclair--commented on my Claustrophobia post) who writes smut for the masses but password protects her personal posts. (Most prefer her smut, but it's a bit much for me. I actually like her personal protected posts better.) She has given the password to stranger-friends but NOT to her girlfriend. It allows her to process her personal life outside of her personal life. Of course, in order for that to work for you, you would have to be willing to tell the mad, hurt folks "sorry, no" when they inevitably ask for your password.

You could also open up your author only blog to invited guests and just not invite them.

My family and friends know I have a blog, but only one friend (Graci) reads it. When the rest of them ask if they can have the address, or my blog name, I say no. I certainly wouldn't be able to say nearly as much as I do if they were all reading.

I think that there are lots of ways for you to continue writing and getting feedback, but you're probably going to piss off some people in the process. People who are in the loop don't usually like to be thrown out. But...they'll get over it.

Brinkley said...

I completely agree with the person above me... it rhymes... anyway password protected = happy

Amanda said...

Wow. Well Terroni has great ideas! Don't stop blogging! I'll miss you too much!!! You are great and I love reading your thoughts!!