Too Much Stress.

This has been a really stressful week. We're still packing to move, and we thought the week was going pretty good, at the beginning we signed our new lease and found out that it wasn't going to cost anything to get the electricity, tv and water switched to the new house. Then we found out that because we got married last year, Justin has lost his financial aid. In spite of the fact that we live below the poverty level (the IRS actually suggested we apply for aid), we make too much money for Justin to get the same financial aid that he got last year. Now we don't know how he's going to go to school in the fall. Then we found out that it's going to cost $300 to get the gas turned on at the new house. We don't have gas at this house, everything is electric, so we can't just move the account over like we did with the other stuff. So, we went from having hot water and no shower to having 2 showers and no hot water. After that, the leasing agent called us and said that in spite of the fact that she told us we could pay the deposit on the new place on the 31st, that we would actually have to pay it "right now." (That was yesterday we actually worked it out with the real landlord after a gigantic panic attack that we can still pay on the 31st.) So we got through the work day today and it seemed like it might be a good day, then my dad called to tell me that the little dog we were going to take from him to be Maybe's friend died today. (Parvo.) For reasons I don't want to go into right now, I really feel like this is my fault and I can't stop thinking about how sweet and soft she was.

This stress killing me. I've been sick to my stomach every day this week. I look old. I have lots of new gray hair. I ache in weird places and I don't know how much of this I can take. I haven't even gotten as much done as I should, but now I have new boxes and I've moved from 11 to 16 today. More packing will happen this weekend. At this point it's mostly the kitchen and bedrooms that need serious work, the living room is pretty much gutted... I want to curl up and cry, perhaps I'll watch Ellen instead.

So that's the update.


Terroni said...

I'm sorry you're having such a tough week, friend.

One foot in front of the other.
You are much more resilient than you think.

It's all going to be okay, even if you're not sure what "okay" looks like yet. In the meantime, it sometimes helps to curl up and cry.

Summer said...

You poor baby. I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. It will get better. I promise.