Today is the local "festival" known as Early Settler's Day. I usually get really excited and want to go downtown to watch the parade and eat the junk, and buy some stuff, but this year I'm just totally not motivated. I actually slept through the parade, due to an overdose of Flonase, Claritin, and and alcohol. (Just one drink, nobody panic.) Anyway, none of those things seemed to help the horrible allergy attack that I've been having for the last 3 days. I feel like my whole body is just full of snot. It's not pleasant.
Tonight was supposed to be my last night at my current job, I had actually planned to just not go in, since they didn't accept my two week notice as an actual 2 week notice, thanks to the jerk that took my paperwork, and I'll be considered "not rehire-able" anyway. However, the hospital (and everyone involved in this process) seems to be dragging their feet. They haven't gotten the results of my drug-test and background check back yet, and the HR woman is out of town so I won't know anything 'til Tuesday. I don't want to be potentially jobless, so I've extended my notice by another week and I'll continue slaving away until then. Assuming that everything is clear. If not (which is a possibility), then I'll have to slave away for the crazy deaf people indefinately. (Please note, I don't think all deaf people are crazy, just the ones that I'm dealing with.)
Ugh. I'm actually starting to get really worried about this so everyone think good thoughts or say prayers or whatever your particular kind of help is that everything works out and I can start at a new and wonderful job sometime next week.
Also, for anyone who might be wondering, my TB test was, as predicted, negative. Have to go for another one on Tuesday just to be extra sure.
Poked and Prodded
Today I went to HR to fill out the applicable paper work for my new job. On the way I stopped in the bathroom. Hospitals are the best place for that sort of thing because unless something terrible happened the moment before you walked through the door, they are generally clean.Anyway, filled out the paper work and then headed to Employee Health to get my TB test and drug screening. Damn. Shouldn't have gone to the bathroom. After three tries I was finally able to um...produce. bleh. While we waited I went ahead and got my pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine, they were, after all, free. I have to go back on Thursday for them to look at my TB arm and then the next Tuesday to get it tested all over again. Hopefully by then I will already be working and it'll just be a short trip down the hall. I have no idea when I'll actually start, but my last day at my current job is Thursday...so hopefully Monday. I also don't know how much I'm getting paid. I assume they'll tell me at some point, but right now, no one seems to know so I'm not the only one in the dark.
I have to go to bed now. My whooping cough arm really hurts.
Just an added note, I have never seen anything that color in a syringe before. Are any IV drugs neon blue? Must be Kool-Aid.
An Orphan
So, as most of you know, we live next door to my dad, step-mom and younger brother and sister. In their living room is a table that is covered with family pictures, the whole thing, there are probably 15 or 20 pics there. Over the weekend they had some friends in town staying with them, and one of the friends is a photographer. She took some pictures of my step-sister in her wedding dress and some pictures of her two kids, Hannah and Hunter, and she was going to take some pics of my dad, Sussan and my brother in their fire department regalia. So today I was over there and the pictures on the table have been updated with the new pictures. There are pictures of my dad and Sussan, pictures of Hannah and Hunter, Pictures of Stacy and Steven and pictures of D'Liesa and James. There is not one picture of me. There is not one picture of me and Justin. I know that they have some. I gave my dad a framed picture of him walking me down the aisle at my wedding. They also have a non wedding picture of me and Justin together that looks like the other 700 pictures of me and Justin, several of which have been posted here. And, if for some reason they have lost those, like I said, there are lots available all they have to do is ask. So, I asked about it. I said "Hey the new pictures look great, but there's not a picture of me in there." I didn't make a big deal about it, just mentioned it in passing while looking at the other pictures. Immediately Sussan went defensive saying that she wasn't "finished yet" putting the pics on the table. Trust me, there's not room for another picture there, besides, what was there to finish? They already had the pictures, in frames. So my feelings were really hurt.
But it gets worse. I was flipping through the albums of their new pictures from over the weekend, and there is a picture of D'Liesa, Sussan and Stacy. Sort of an "all the girls" pic, but um, I'm not in it. They said " oh you're not in the pictures because you weren't here," but I was there yesterday. If they had planned on taking family pictures I feel like they should have told me. I feel like I'm not a member of the family anymore and it really really hurts my feelings.
It's not just the pictures either, their friends don't know about me. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, or to feel bad about, but the thing is, they all do know Stacy, Steven and D'Liesa and her kids. When I went to the party at the fire station on the 4th of July people didn't know who I was. I'm now "Stacy and Steven's sister" instead of "Susan" or "Bobby's daughter." At a community function with my dad a few weeks ago, a woman actually said something like "oh I didn't know you had another daughter."
My feelings are so hurt. I don't feel like I can talk to my dad about it because I know that he'll just take Sussan's side. I actually did ask him about the picture thing a few weeks ago (there hasn't been a pic displayed of me in about a year), I said "hey, where's that picture of you and me that I gave you? It's not on the family table" and he said that it was on his night stand, but it wasn't, and when I told him that he couldn't think of where it might be.
The worst part is that they made me put a picture of Sussan up on my family picture magnet board. I was resistant to doing that because I don't have a picture of my step-dad up there, so I thought that was fair. Apparently not. She had a fit and so now there's a pic of her in my house, but not one of me in hers. I feel very very rejected. *sigh*
My dad and Sussan have been married for half my life now, and they always pretend that everything is equal and that we're one big happy family with no "steps" involved, but It's becoming very very clear that she's functioning under an "us versus them" mentality. I guess it was clear all along, but she's becoming bolder in the way that she's making her statements and I don't know what to do about it...
Actually, now that I think about it, it's really more of an "us versus Susan" kind of thing. I don't think I'm going to go over any more. My dad can come see me here.
But it gets worse. I was flipping through the albums of their new pictures from over the weekend, and there is a picture of D'Liesa, Sussan and Stacy. Sort of an "all the girls" pic, but um, I'm not in it. They said " oh you're not in the pictures because you weren't here," but I was there yesterday. If they had planned on taking family pictures I feel like they should have told me. I feel like I'm not a member of the family anymore and it really really hurts my feelings.
It's not just the pictures either, their friends don't know about me. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, or to feel bad about, but the thing is, they all do know Stacy, Steven and D'Liesa and her kids. When I went to the party at the fire station on the 4th of July people didn't know who I was. I'm now "Stacy and Steven's sister" instead of "Susan" or "Bobby's daughter." At a community function with my dad a few weeks ago, a woman actually said something like "oh I didn't know you had another daughter."
My feelings are so hurt. I don't feel like I can talk to my dad about it because I know that he'll just take Sussan's side. I actually did ask him about the picture thing a few weeks ago (there hasn't been a pic displayed of me in about a year), I said "hey, where's that picture of you and me that I gave you? It's not on the family table" and he said that it was on his night stand, but it wasn't, and when I told him that he couldn't think of where it might be.
The worst part is that they made me put a picture of Sussan up on my family picture magnet board. I was resistant to doing that because I don't have a picture of my step-dad up there, so I thought that was fair. Apparently not. She had a fit and so now there's a pic of her in my house, but not one of me in hers. I feel very very rejected. *sigh*
My dad and Sussan have been married for half my life now, and they always pretend that everything is equal and that we're one big happy family with no "steps" involved, but It's becoming very very clear that she's functioning under an "us versus them" mentality. I guess it was clear all along, but she's becoming bolder in the way that she's making her statements and I don't know what to do about it...
Actually, now that I think about it, it's really more of an "us versus Susan" kind of thing. I don't think I'm going to go over any more. My dad can come see me here.
Happy 4th
I enjoy Independence Day mainly because it's the only holiday that can be referred to only as a number. We aren't doing anything special, I'm going to the fire department for a hot dog (my dad's a fireman, I'm not just showing up to crash their party), and then I'll probably go back to bed. We have to work later tonight and I'll need a little more sleep, but who can resist a hot dog cooked outside? Certainly not me.I put in my 2 week notice at my current job this morning. I dated it July 2, which is a little bit of a lie, but no member of management has been there since then anyway so whatever. I'm scheduled for my TB test on Tuesday. Not that I think I have TB but I'm the sort of hypochondriac that has thought processes like this:
"There was that guy in Alabama recently who didn't feel sick or anything and by some fluke, like a car wreck or something, he had a chest x-ray and they found a lump of TB in his lung the size of a baseball...and here I've been coughing for a *year*!! I'm going to die!!! And lose this job!!!"
And then I have some cake and feel better, with no guilt regarding my neurosis (or sugar intake) at all.
That's a true story by the way, the baseball TB guy. And that's exactly the way I heard it too...does TB come in lumps??
Didn't get the fireworks picture last night. A recent break in my insomnia has occurred at a rather inopportune time and I slept til time to go to work. Maybe tomorrow...anyway they'll be here when I get them. For now, you can pretend the one that is on here is mine, even though it most certainly isn't.
Beverly Sills has died. There aren't many great ones left...
I Got It!
The job that is. Yes, it's been quite the busy week. On Thursday I had an interview at the hospital for a job to be different than what I thought it was. The people didn't seem to like me and I was totally not interested in the job so I figured it was mutual and that I'd never hear from them again. While I was at the hospital, I went and turned my application in directly to the supervisor of the department that I wanted to work in and she was quite impressed. She set me up for an interview on the spot for the next day. Then the supervisor at the cancer center where I thought I might want to work called me and set up an interview for Tuesday (today). My cup runneth over.
Thursday night the people whose job I didn't want called and offered it to me. Apparently they liked me after all. Huh.
Friday I went to interview in the department that I liked and it was *terrific* the best interview I've ever had. One member of the panel hugged me. They told me to wait in the lobby while they talked about me and then a few minutes later they came and told me that they wanted to hire me but had to clear it with the management people and that they would call me.
It was a Friday so of course all the management types went home at noon. I had to wait out the weekend, as you saw, in my previous post. Yesterday they called and offered me the job Yaaay!!! I wanted it so bad. The people there are so great and I really feel like I fit in there and will be happy. I haven't felt like that since I moved away from Canyon 3 years ago. The job is in the admissions office and there are only about 10 people working there so its cozy and they bring a lot of food for impromptu parties. My kinda place, plus they like me...like a lot. Clearly they think I'm much cooler than I actually am.
So, today I had to go to the interview set up last week because even though I got the job I wanted, its good to make connections in as many places as you can. My little (excuse me, younger) brother works at the cancer center and I thought that if I liked the job and liked the people that it would save some gas to work over there. It was not the job that I applied for, and I did not like the people. That made my decision much easier. Not that they've offered me the job yet, but they will.
Anyway I'm really happy and excited and I get to buy some fancy black scrubs.
Justin and I are going to attempt to take some pictures with fireworks tonight so everyone hope that we don't set ourselves on fire.
Thursday night the people whose job I didn't want called and offered it to me. Apparently they liked me after all. Huh.
Friday I went to interview in the department that I liked and it was *terrific* the best interview I've ever had. One member of the panel hugged me. They told me to wait in the lobby while they talked about me and then a few minutes later they came and told me that they wanted to hire me but had to clear it with the management people and that they would call me.
It was a Friday so of course all the management types went home at noon. I had to wait out the weekend, as you saw, in my previous post. Yesterday they called and offered me the job Yaaay!!! I wanted it so bad. The people there are so great and I really feel like I fit in there and will be happy. I haven't felt like that since I moved away from Canyon 3 years ago. The job is in the admissions office and there are only about 10 people working there so its cozy and they bring a lot of food for impromptu parties. My kinda place, plus they like me...like a lot. Clearly they think I'm much cooler than I actually am.
So, today I had to go to the interview set up last week because even though I got the job I wanted, its good to make connections in as many places as you can. My little (excuse me, younger) brother works at the cancer center and I thought that if I liked the job and liked the people that it would save some gas to work over there. It was not the job that I applied for, and I did not like the people. That made my decision much easier. Not that they've offered me the job yet, but they will.
Anyway I'm really happy and excited and I get to buy some fancy black scrubs.
Justin and I are going to attempt to take some pictures with fireworks tonight so everyone hope that we don't set ourselves on fire.
No Distraction
Post Secret didn't update today. How the heck am I supposed to distract myself until I hear back from my potential new boss??? I really want this job...*sigh*
At Last
I can post the news and perhaps someone will end the frenzy ( You know who you are ) My sister is engaged!! James (the fiance) told us last weekend that he was going to propose to her this weekend in San Antonio so we've all been aquiver with anticipation. So you see, I couldn't post the news until the proposal actually happened because she sometimes reads my blog. Hurray! Yes I know this isn't all that super exciting for those of you outside of my family but it is for me. D'Liesa has been a single mom for a few years now and her ex was/is a real jackass so this is all very good news. Also, I'm hoping that she'll let me test out my wedding photographing skills on her...
Here's a pic of the happy couple:
She doesn't like this picture, but I do because she looks all doe-eyed and James looks like he has a secret...apparently he did because moments later I took this picture:
James and our parents after he asked their permission and swore us to secrecy.
Together they have three children (and two supermen apparently)
Hannah, Hunter and Sean (from left to right)
Hannah is 3 the boys are both 6.
So, there's the news...everyone can relax...except the wedding planners I guess...
She doesn't like this picture, but I do because she looks all doe-eyed and James looks like he has a secret...apparently he did because moments later I took this picture:
James and our parents after he asked their permission and swore us to secrecy.Together they have three children (and two supermen apparently)
Hannah, Hunter and Sean (from left to right)
Hannah is 3 the boys are both 6.So, there's the news...everyone can relax...except the wedding planners I guess...
Ok People
I'm not sure exactly when I'm going to post the exciting news. It sort of depends on when the person who it most directly involves finds out about it. I think it will probably be Saturday. There's been some speculation among you (Terroni) so I am going to go ahead and tell you that it's not what you think it is, because I know what you think it is. Let's face it, it's not that exciting. *grin*
I'm quite sure you will all be disappointed, but I'm excited about it anyway.
Oh my god I just saw the funniest commercial I have ever seen.
It's a porcupine, and she says "when I have a feminine itch"
and then a skunk says "and there's odor"
and then a blowfish says "do people notice?"
Well sweeties I'm pretty sure the first thing they notice is that you gals are um talking...
I have no idea what this commercial is for, as I fast forwarded after the animals were gone but I don't think I've ever been so entertained. I'm going to rewind and buy whatever it is that they are selling, even though, to save myself from embarassment, I'll say at the cash register "I don't actually need this product, but the commercial is great!!"
I'm quite sure you will all be disappointed, but I'm excited about it anyway.
Oh my god I just saw the funniest commercial I have ever seen.
It's a porcupine, and she says "when I have a feminine itch"
and then a skunk says "and there's odor"
and then a blowfish says "do people notice?"
Well sweeties I'm pretty sure the first thing they notice is that you gals are um talking...
I have no idea what this commercial is for, as I fast forwarded after the animals were gone but I don't think I've ever been so entertained. I'm going to rewind and buy whatever it is that they are selling, even though, to save myself from embarassment, I'll say at the cash register "I don't actually need this product, but the commercial is great!!"
For Summer:
Justin's Stuffed Jalepenos (very easy)
As many Jalepenos as you want
Cut the ends off
Split them in half
Scrape out the hot stuff (seeds and veins)
(it's important to do this under running or a sink full of water because if not it will burn your eyes and lungs, or if you're brave, you can leave the hot stuff in)
Spoon cream cheese into pepper halves (as much as you like)
Wrap pepper/cream cheese in half a piece of bacon
Bake in the oven at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, or until bacon is crispy.
Don't touch your eyes, nose or any sensitive bits for several hours, even if you wash your hands....unless you're into pain.
As many Jalepenos as you want
Cut the ends off
Split them in half
Scrape out the hot stuff (seeds and veins)
(it's important to do this under running or a sink full of water because if not it will burn your eyes and lungs, or if you're brave, you can leave the hot stuff in)
Spoon cream cheese into pepper halves (as much as you like)
Wrap pepper/cream cheese in half a piece of bacon
Bake in the oven at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, or until bacon is crispy.
Don't touch your eyes, nose or any sensitive bits for several hours, even if you wash your hands....unless you're into pain.
Father's Day
Still can't seem to post titles for my posts...
I haven't done a play in years. Haven't been involved in the theatre in any way except as a rapt audience member. I was pretty sure that I had the drama bug out of my system, but, as I watch the Tonys (Tivo'd) and see Bernadette Peters, I still make this noise : "ahhhheeee!"
David Hyde Pierce just won his first Tony after many many years in the biz and this makes me unspeakably happy. I know every line and every word to every song in A Chorus Line. I guess the bug is still with me.
Yesterday was Father's Day. We had dinner with my dad, steaks and potatoes and corn on the cob. Justin made stuffed jalepenos. It was delicious and a really good time. In honor of Father's Day, I'm posting a picture of my dad:
Justin brought me flowers last night after he went to the store with my brother. One of them is behind my dad's ear. Here are the other ones (and me):
Ok so that's all for now. Cross your fingers that we hear something about Justin's potential new job today. I actually have some other big exciting news, but I can't post it 'til next week 'cause it's a secret...
I haven't done a play in years. Haven't been involved in the theatre in any way except as a rapt audience member. I was pretty sure that I had the drama bug out of my system, but, as I watch the Tonys (Tivo'd) and see Bernadette Peters, I still make this noise : "ahhhheeee!"
David Hyde Pierce just won his first Tony after many many years in the biz and this makes me unspeakably happy. I know every line and every word to every song in A Chorus Line. I guess the bug is still with me.
Yesterday was Father's Day. We had dinner with my dad, steaks and potatoes and corn on the cob. Justin made stuffed jalepenos. It was delicious and a really good time. In honor of Father's Day, I'm posting a picture of my dad:
Justin brought me flowers last night after he went to the store with my brother. One of them is behind my dad's ear. Here are the other ones (and me):
Ok so that's all for now. Cross your fingers that we hear something about Justin's potential new job today. I actually have some other big exciting news, but I can't post it 'til next week 'cause it's a secret...
Click Your Heels...
We're home. It took 9 hours and it rained on us most of the way, but no drama anyway. We survived the visit with my mom with only minor scathing wounds to my ego, so all in all I'm calling it a success. Maybe is very happy that we are home. anyway I'm very tired now so I'm not going to write anymore. Maybe tomorrow.
Why can't I give this post a title? Is anyone else having this problem??
Why can't I give this post a title? Is anyone else having this problem??
We Made It
We're at my moms now. We flew down yesterday. The first flight was ok, not very full and Justin and I got to sit together. Except for the stop on a dime landing you get anytime you land at Dallas/Love Field (which is to be expected) it was fine. We had a 2 hour layover in Dallas (I took artistic pictures of ketchup packets at the airport McDonalds, when I get home I'll show you) before our flight to Austin (by that time my mom could have actually driven to Dallas to pick us up, by the way) and then headed to Austin, which was a completely full flight, and as Justin and I didn't print our boarding passes early enough we were in the second boarding group and did not get to sit together. The guy that sat next to me was very cute though, and nice. The guy that sat behind me was Justin who kept kneeing me in the back, and the person that sat in front of me smelled like diapers. (Not dirty ones, just you know, that plasticy smell bleh.cloth diapers for my future kid. Remind me ok?) Anyway, that supposedly 30 minute flight tunred into about an hour and 15 minutes because they had to route us around Houston to miss a big storm. Anyway we got to Austin and my mom picked us up and then we drove 2 hours to here. I got to buy a watermelon on the side of the road on our way. It will be delicious, even if it makes my throat close and Justin sneeze. That's why they made Benadryl. So anyway, we're having a good time so far and today we might go to the Bluebell ice cream factory for a tour and free ice cream.
Whatdayaknow
Something else wrong. Naturally. Something is wrong with the dryer. It goes, but it doesn't get hot so the clothes don't get dry unless I leave them in the dryer for days and days (which I'm sure is doing wonders for our electric bill). Anyway, so the system now is that I wash the clothes and my younger sister comes to get them to put them in their dryer next door. Then she brings them back either folded or I fold them. It seems to be working for now. I'm not sure when we're going to get around to fixing the dryer as the car is a more pressing matter. (In case you didn't read the comments, our alternator has now died as well as the back 2 tires.) Everyone cross your fingers, hopefully Justin will hear back from the manager at the job he interviewed for last week. This job will make things so much easier...I also put in an application at the hospital where my younger brother works. Maybe that will work out too...they love him over there, maybe that will work in my favor. We're leaving on Thursday for Bryan to pick up the truck that my mom is giving Justin. I don't know if I'll have time to post, but I'm taking the laptop so maybe.
There's Always Something
So, we're all moved in and everything is unpacked. (with the exception of a box of wires in the computer room. That's not my territory.) We managed to corral the other two cats with only minor injuries (to me, not the cats), and everyone seems to have settled in nicely. Justin had a very successful job interview this weekend, which we're hoping will turn into a better paying job with better hours. So, naturally, since everything is going well something had to go wrong.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but on the way home with the U-Haul last week I had a blow out in the car. Justin was ahead of me and he didn't know so I had to wait for about an hour for my dad to come get me. The tires are only about a year old so we thought that surely they would be covered under the warranty that my aunt got when she bought the tires for us last year. Apparently the alignment in the car was off (which they didn't tell us when they put the tires on), and that is what caused the blow-out. This is considered our fault so the tires are not under warranty. We have to replace both back tires on the car. They are a weird size and so the cheapest they come is $75 per tire. Fantastic. We have enough money to do this right now, but not to do this and buy groceries, gas, etc until our next payday. However, in order to get to work and have a next payday, the tires have to be replaced. Justin is in Lubbock buying new tires now. *sigh*
The timing of this would have been terrific if only we had been able to make it for 5 more days. We are flying out to Bryan on Thursday because my mom and step-dad are giving Justin a pick up. Unfortunately, our tires will not last going back and forth to work for the 5 days in between. There is always something.
I will post pics of the new house as soon as possible.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but on the way home with the U-Haul last week I had a blow out in the car. Justin was ahead of me and he didn't know so I had to wait for about an hour for my dad to come get me. The tires are only about a year old so we thought that surely they would be covered under the warranty that my aunt got when she bought the tires for us last year. Apparently the alignment in the car was off (which they didn't tell us when they put the tires on), and that is what caused the blow-out. This is considered our fault so the tires are not under warranty. We have to replace both back tires on the car. They are a weird size and so the cheapest they come is $75 per tire. Fantastic. We have enough money to do this right now, but not to do this and buy groceries, gas, etc until our next payday. However, in order to get to work and have a next payday, the tires have to be replaced. Justin is in Lubbock buying new tires now. *sigh*
The timing of this would have been terrific if only we had been able to make it for 5 more days. We are flying out to Bryan on Thursday because my mom and step-dad are giving Justin a pick up. Unfortunately, our tires will not last going back and forth to work for the 5 days in between. There is always something.
I will post pics of the new house as soon as possible.
Sad
Today we had to have Justin's cat, M'Gee, put to sleep. Justin has had him since he was 8 years old. M'Gee was very old (18), and he had cancer and polyps and arthritis and lots of other things that made him uncomfortable and sick.
We are both very sad. I hate to see Justin crying like this, it breaks my heart and I don't know what to do to comfort him. He's afraid we made the wrong decision, but I know that we didn't. M'Gee was a brave, good, warm cat and he smelled good most of the time. I hope he feels better now. I wish I did.
Rest in peace.
Rest in peace.Moved
Well, we've moved. There are a few more things that we need to pick up and drag over here but really not that much. Now I'm focusing on getting rid of as many of these boxes as I can and trying to figure out how to arrange the living room. This move feels more exhausting than any other one that I've ever done. I'm not sure why, but I don't like it. Anyway, I'll post some pics as soon as everything is in order. Maybe really loves the house by the way. She runs around happily in the HUGE yard and likes to lay on my bed and look out the window for hours. She's a little scared of the kitchen though, and the bathroom, and when one of us is in the shower she freaks out because she doesn't know what it is...Otherwise she seems to have adjusted well. The cats haven't made the trip yet. That's all for now...
To Take My Mind Off Things
spell your name: susan
spell it backwards: nasus
spell it with your elbow: dsjss n
spell it with your eyes shut: susan
spell it with your forehead: xduhjsdazqhy
spell it with your nose: suwan
spell it with your chin: suhza n
Justin caught me trying to do it with my nose and scolded me for getting oil from my hair on the screen. There's not any oil on the screen. Ha! It was embarassing though...Try it!
spell it backwards: nasus
spell it with your elbow: dsjss n
spell it with your eyes shut: susan
spell it with your forehead: xduhjsdazqhy
spell it with your nose: suwan
spell it with your chin: suhza n
Justin caught me trying to do it with my nose and scolded me for getting oil from my hair on the screen. There's not any oil on the screen. Ha! It was embarassing though...Try it!
Fat Girl Revolution
The Hot Fat Girl Manifesto
Because being a hot fat girl is a lot of work and is undervalued or unrecognized.
Because a fat girl still has to pay more money for uglier clothes or spend 11 hours at the thrift store to find anything hot to wear.
Because if you take the elevator, people think you're lazy but if you're on the treadmill, people laugh.
Because men like John Goodman and Bernie Mac get to have careers on television but sitcom-moms-of-three still have size-two waists.
Because even feminist magazines publish fat-phobic articles under the guise of it being a "health issue."
Because anti-capitalist activists still use expressions like "fat capitalist pig."
Because girls are dieting at the age of nine.
Because side effects of the most popular diet drugs are seizures, heart failure, fecal urgency, breast cancer, lung disease, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, dangerously high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat, psychosis, strokes, hallucinations and sudden death.
Because the Cooper Institute's ongoing study of 30,000 people has found that those who are fittest live the longest, no matter what they weigh.
Because the doctor who said that there were 30,000 "obesity-related" deaths each year received over $2 million in research funding from Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers.
Because that study prompted the FDA to approve Phen-Phen and Redux.
Because fat-hatred is a money-making industry.
Because fat people who exercise live longer than thin people who don't.
Because if you lose weight 'cause you're sick, people telling you how great you look.
Because fat-hatred is so ingrained in every single one of us, especially inside the heart of even the hottest fat girl.
Because even the most progressive people don't talk or write about it.
Because I am tired of being ignored, invisible, de-sexualized and told that I have such a pretty face.
Because it's not fat that kills, it's fear of fat.
For all that and more I am a part of the HOT FAT GIRL REVOLUTION!
(first posted in Shamless Magazine 2005)So There!
The Update.
The box count remains the same as I did nothing useful yesterday or so far today. I probably won't do anything useful today because as soon as Justin gets back from the store, I'm making us some sandwiches, watching The View (to see if I still like it without Rosie. Damn you Elisabeth Hasellbeck.), and then perhaps heading on to bed. I can't seem to get enough sleep these days. I think that it's because this is my first month off hormonal birth control for about 10 years, and since I'm currently ovulating my body's like "what the hell is this??" I am not, for the record, off the hormones in order to make baby Brinkleys (Brinklies?). I just feel like it's time for my body to take a break, and the fact that with our new insurance my lovely little ring is very expensive...it also seems to have a nasty side effect that I won't go into here. So for now, we're using other stuff. Like the extreme stress of moving and being broke to encourage abstinence. Perhaps I'll market it.
New Box Total
37 boxes packed. That is pretty much everything I can pack right now except the stuff in the storage room until closer to time. We will be in our new place in one week. I think I'm going to go do some more laundry and some dishes now. I still have way too much to do. I'm still feeling quite overwhelmed, but not as much as a few days ago. We're gonna make it after all...
Too Much Stress.
This has been a really stressful week. We're still packing to move, and we thought the week was going pretty good, at the beginning we signed our new lease and found out that it wasn't going to cost anything to get the electricity, tv and water switched to the new house. Then we found out that because we got married last year, Justin has lost his financial aid. In spite of the fact that we live below the poverty level (the IRS actually suggested we apply for aid), we make too much money for Justin to get the same financial aid that he got last year. Now we don't know how he's going to go to school in the fall. Then we found out that it's going to cost $300 to get the gas turned on at the new house. We don't have gas at this house, everything is electric, so we can't just move the account over like we did with the other stuff. So, we went from having hot water and no shower to having 2 showers and no hot water. After that, the leasing agent called us and said that in spite of the fact that she told us we could pay the deposit on the new place on the 31st, that we would actually have to pay it "right now." (That was yesterday we actually worked it out with the real landlord after a gigantic panic attack that we can still pay on the 31st.) So we got through the work day today and it seemed like it might be a good day, then my dad called to tell me that the little dog we were going to take from him to be Maybe's friend died today. (Parvo.) For reasons I don't want to go into right now, I really feel like this is my fault and I can't stop thinking about how sweet and soft she was.
This stress killing me. I've been sick to my stomach every day this week. I look old. I have lots of new gray hair. I ache in weird places and I don't know how much of this I can take. I haven't even gotten as much done as I should, but now I have new boxes and I've moved from 11 to 16 today. More packing will happen this weekend. At this point it's mostly the kitchen and bedrooms that need serious work, the living room is pretty much gutted... I want to curl up and cry, perhaps I'll watch Ellen instead.
So that's the update.
This stress killing me. I've been sick to my stomach every day this week. I look old. I have lots of new gray hair. I ache in weird places and I don't know how much of this I can take. I haven't even gotten as much done as I should, but now I have new boxes and I've moved from 11 to 16 today. More packing will happen this weekend. At this point it's mostly the kitchen and bedrooms that need serious work, the living room is pretty much gutted... I want to curl up and cry, perhaps I'll watch Ellen instead.
So that's the update.
One Year
We have been married for one year today!! It seems like just a few weeks ago that I was super stressed about the wedding situation, and here I am now super stressed about moving. I guess some things never change. Anyway, aside from the drama, Justin and I are really really happy and even though stuff is hard right now, overall things just get better and better for us. Getting married is the best thing I have ever done.
We have to go figure out which family member's freezer our cake top is in so we can eat it. Yaay cake!!
We have to go figure out which family member's freezer our cake top is in so we can eat it. Yaay cake!!
Boxes
So, it turns out we are moving this Thursday (the 24) instead of next Thursday (the 31), as we had originally thought. Apparently my parents were planning for us and not letting us in on the details, so I just started packing today. So far, I've done 11 boxes, and frankly, it hasn't made that much difference, which is really disappointing and frustrating. The boxes I have just aren't really big enough to pack very much stuff in. So, right now, our book case is empty and all non-essential bathroom things are packed. I just really don't know where to start and I really don't want to do this. Oh well, at least I'll get to pick out a new shower curtain.
The Edge
So, I've been on the edge of a nervous breakdown since yesterday afternoon, but I might be feeling a little better now. We found a place to live, it's right next door to my parents house, it's 3 bed, 2 bath and it has not one, but two showers. That beats our current total by... 1 bedroom and 2 bathrooms. I'm still super stressed out about how we're gonna get together enough cash for the deposit, first months rent and the fees to get our tv, electric, etc switched over, but somehow, it will be ok...I hope. I don't think that my poor gritted teeth and soon to be developed stomach ulcer will handle it well if things don't stabilize quickly.
Justin just said "don't look at my computer screen for a minute." I wonder what he's looking at...oh a shark. Good thing I didn't look. Things in the water scare me. Especially things with teeth. Ok I have to go watch Heroes (only 2 episodes left!!) and decompress for a bit.
Oh yeah, I know I'll probably go directly to hell for saying this, but I'm really freakin' glad that Jerry Falwell is finally dead. Maybe Pat Robertson is next in line.
One more thing, I'm really tired of hearing about John Edwards expensive haircut. (Are you reading this Mike Huckabee?) If the only bad thing they can find to say about the guy is that he overpays for a trim, I say move him into the white house this weekend...Maybe he'll send me the left over boxes.
Justin just said "don't look at my computer screen for a minute." I wonder what he's looking at...oh a shark. Good thing I didn't look. Things in the water scare me. Especially things with teeth. Ok I have to go watch Heroes (only 2 episodes left!!) and decompress for a bit.
Oh yeah, I know I'll probably go directly to hell for saying this, but I'm really freakin' glad that Jerry Falwell is finally dead. Maybe Pat Robertson is next in line.
One more thing, I'm really tired of hearing about John Edwards expensive haircut. (Are you reading this Mike Huckabee?) If the only bad thing they can find to say about the guy is that he overpays for a trim, I say move him into the white house this weekend...Maybe he'll send me the left over boxes.
Damn
Looks like we're going to have to move after all. Our new landlord, my ex-brother-in-law, has decided to raise the rent from $176 to $435 a month. We expected him to raise it some to cover insurance, but not that much and frankly, that's just too much for a house without a shower that is wired to ignite at any moment. So, we've found a place 2 doors down from my dad and step-mom that has about as much room, an extra bathroom, and neighbors who are not druggies. I'm not entirely sure how I feel yet about living that close to my family, it has good and bad points, but I think it will be fine.
We're working days this week, as we are in a training class. I'm hoping that the new computer system that we are learning will stave off the burn-out that I've been feeling for awhile. I just really don't know how much longer I can take it. Justin and I are looking for new jobs now. Justin has a couple of pretty good leads, but so far the best I've been able to find is substituting the next school year. Maybe I can hold on until August.
We do have some very good news on top of all the yuck. My step-dad, James, has gotten a new pick up and he and my mom are giving his old truck (a 1998 Nissan something), to Justin. This will make our lives much easier. Now we can find work at seperate places and in a couple of semesters, all of Justin's classes will be one town over, so he'll need some way to get over there. We're flying down to College Station in a few weeks to pick it up and drive it back, assuming that we can get moved etc. in time. We're supposed to be out of this house by June 1st. I'm hoping that we can fly down to College Station on June 14.
So, that's the news for now. More as and when.
We're working days this week, as we are in a training class. I'm hoping that the new computer system that we are learning will stave off the burn-out that I've been feeling for awhile. I just really don't know how much longer I can take it. Justin and I are looking for new jobs now. Justin has a couple of pretty good leads, but so far the best I've been able to find is substituting the next school year. Maybe I can hold on until August.
We do have some very good news on top of all the yuck. My step-dad, James, has gotten a new pick up and he and my mom are giving his old truck (a 1998 Nissan something), to Justin. This will make our lives much easier. Now we can find work at seperate places and in a couple of semesters, all of Justin's classes will be one town over, so he'll need some way to get over there. We're flying down to College Station in a few weeks to pick it up and drive it back, assuming that we can get moved etc. in time. We're supposed to be out of this house by June 1st. I'm hoping that we can fly down to College Station on June 14.
So, that's the news for now. More as and when.
Happy Mother's Day
Today was the day that new Post Secrets came out. Because of the holiday, they are all mom related. This is the one I identify with the most:
Maybe I sent in this secret and forgot...Anyway, anyone who hasn't been to Post Secret should totally make it a weekly routine. It certainly helps me feel less alone.
Now back on subject, to all my mommy friends out there, I hope you have a great Mother's Day complete with breakfast in bed someone else making dinner!!
Maybe I sent in this secret and forgot...Anyway, anyone who hasn't been to Post Secret should totally make it a weekly routine. It certainly helps me feel less alone.
Now back on subject, to all my mommy friends out there, I hope you have a great Mother's Day complete with breakfast in bed someone else making dinner!!
Pomp and Circumstance
We got back from Amarillo last night. We went for Justin's sisters graduation banquet, she has finished dental hygienist schoo. Here's Ashlie at her fancy table:
We thought that we were going to a party at their parents' house and then on to the graduation ceremony so we just packed regular clothes and headed on our way. When we got there we found out that it was a semi-formal banquet. So, that to me just means church clothes, which we were prepared for, but Justin found some crazy site online and got some advice from a friend telling him that a.) in the case of the website, semi-formal is black tie (formal being white tie) and b.) in the case of his friend that he had to at least wear a jacket and tie. Neither of which he had. I was supposed to wear a cocktail dress... right like I've got a cocktail dress just lying around. So there was some drama but his mom said that Justin should just wear a button down dress shirt and dress pants, so we went to the store and bought him some (she paid us back for them thank goodness). So then there was some more drama because Justin is terrified of being the worst dressed person somewhere because apparently as a teenager he had to wear the borrow jacket at the Amarillo Club. (Which isn't fancy, just pretentious.) Anyway, it totally traumatized him and he was afraid that he was going to embarass me, or his sister or himself...
Anyway, we finally convinced him that his clothes were fine, and this is what we looked like at the party:
(You can't tell but I was wearing a black and white sort of Donna Reed style skirt and a black strapless top both with yellow accents. Lovely.) We both looked perfectly fine and no one was wearing anything fancier and we had a good time.
Here are Justin, Ashlie and Nikaia at the party:
We couldn't stay for the actual school graduation, because it wasn't until 7pm yesterday and we had to get home because we work tonight, but I did get the picture of Ashlie:
We are really proud of her.
Now if we can get Justin the rest of the way through school, we'll all live happily ever after. :)
We thought that we were going to a party at their parents' house and then on to the graduation ceremony so we just packed regular clothes and headed on our way. When we got there we found out that it was a semi-formal banquet. So, that to me just means church clothes, which we were prepared for, but Justin found some crazy site online and got some advice from a friend telling him that a.) in the case of the website, semi-formal is black tie (formal being white tie) and b.) in the case of his friend that he had to at least wear a jacket and tie. Neither of which he had. I was supposed to wear a cocktail dress... right like I've got a cocktail dress just lying around. So there was some drama but his mom said that Justin should just wear a button down dress shirt and dress pants, so we went to the store and bought him some (she paid us back for them thank goodness). So then there was some more drama because Justin is terrified of being the worst dressed person somewhere because apparently as a teenager he had to wear the borrow jacket at the Amarillo Club. (Which isn't fancy, just pretentious.) Anyway, it totally traumatized him and he was afraid that he was going to embarass me, or his sister or himself...Anyway, we finally convinced him that his clothes were fine, and this is what we looked like at the party:
(You can't tell but I was wearing a black and white sort of Donna Reed style skirt and a black strapless top both with yellow accents. Lovely.) We both looked perfectly fine and no one was wearing anything fancier and we had a good time.Here are Justin, Ashlie and Nikaia at the party:
We couldn't stay for the actual school graduation, because it wasn't until 7pm yesterday and we had to get home because we work tonight, but I did get the picture of Ashlie:
We are really proud of her.Now if we can get Justin the rest of the way through school, we'll all live happily ever after. :)
Poor Maybe
Maybe is crying injustice this week because we bought her a muzzle. I know I know, cruel and unusual, but it really is for her benefit. See, we wanted to let her run around the house and/or sleep with us while we're sleeping instead of having her crated all night while we're at work and a big chunk of the day while we sleep. However, the last time I let her sleep with me, she ate my comforter, and since then there have been several pantie/sock/t-shirt eating incidents, so we decided that if she wanted to stay out, a muzzle was in order. Now, when we're ready for bed, we muzzle her.
The first few minutes are the worst I think, she wanders around the house rubbing it on stuff thinking she'll find the magic unlatch corner or something and then she sort of loses the will to live and lays down for about 2 minutes. After she realizes the drama isn't helping, she's just a very well behaved dog the rest of the night, and she gets to sleep in a soft bed and chase cats at will. See, we're not really the bad guys.
In non-dog news, Justin's done with school for the summer. His A&P teacher told him that he's the best student she's ever had and a whole handful of other great things, and he aced his final. His English teacher was a psychopath, but he still managed to get out with a B, so that worked out okay.
We're leaving in the morning after work for Amarillo. Justin's sister is graduating from dental hygienist school, so in honor of that, I am posting a picture of her cleaning Justin's teeth. :)
Yay Ashlie!!
The first few minutes are the worst I think, she wanders around the house rubbing it on stuff thinking she'll find the magic unlatch corner or something and then she sort of loses the will to live and lays down for about 2 minutes. After she realizes the drama isn't helping, she's just a very well behaved dog the rest of the night, and she gets to sleep in a soft bed and chase cats at will. See, we're not really the bad guys.
In non-dog news, Justin's done with school for the summer. His A&P teacher told him that he's the best student she's ever had and a whole handful of other great things, and he aced his final. His English teacher was a psychopath, but he still managed to get out with a B, so that worked out okay.
We're leaving in the morning after work for Amarillo. Justin's sister is graduating from dental hygienist school, so in honor of that, I am posting a picture of her cleaning Justin's teeth. :)
Yay Ashlie!!
Good To Know.
Susan
&
Justin
&
Justin
98% Compatible
♥ Susan and Justin have been romantically-together for a long time. That alone demonstrates a degree of compatibility. Similar personality descriptions are a plus. The (lack of) religious faith they share may help to form a bond. Both are brainy, and that is a good thing. Their astrological signs are in harmony, which is a plus. And their views on children are similar. Overall, Susan and Justin are highly compatible. They are capable of having a beautiful relationship together. ♥
Discover Your Compatibility
Discover Your Compatibility
It's My Party.
Well, not really, but it is my birthday. The "party" was yesterday. My dad cooked hamburgers for me at his house and the family ate dinner and cake and sang to me. I am officially 26. Today I spent the day with my aunt, brother, sister and dad running errands and buying enormous amounts of meat at Sam's. (We aren't going to eat out anymore.)The computer is working on life support. Justin spent most of today trying to get our fried hard drive to work so that he can finish off the last of his school work for the semester. It was stressful, but for now, it is working.
So, everybody eat dessert for me today!
Zzz...
Ugh. I keep getting on these stupid weird sleep schedules on the weekends. We work nights, 12-8:30 am (I guess that's really just very early mornings), in any case, we generally go to bed at around 2 pm and get up around 11 to go to work. However, on weekends I like to be on a day schedule so that we can see my family and maybe go to dinner at an actual restaurant at dinner time. Usually on Thursday, (the start of our weekend) I stay up as late as I can, which is usually around 8pm and then go to bed. Get up early (but not like obscenely early, usually around 5), and then tah-da I'm on a day schedule for the next 2 days.
Something has changed, and I don't like it. Last week, and yesterday, I was so tired that I couldn't stay up past 3pm. So both days I was like "oh I'm just going to sleep for 2 hours, please wake me up." And Justin, with fear in his heart (I'm not good at being awakened), agreed. Both days I yelled at him and went back to bed...Last week I ended up just sleeping right through until 5am. That's like 16 hours of sleep! And it's not like I needed it either. I woke up multiple times fully ready to wake up, but I didn't get up because Justin was in bed and there's nothing to do at 1am and I didn't just want to watch tv etc. So yesterday it happened again. I didn't want a repeat performance though, so I made myself get up at 8 (even though I was sulky and prickly) and stay up for a few hours, before going back to bed. I managed to get it down to about 11 hours of sleep, which is much less obscene.
So, now it's 5:30am and I'm going to do everything I can to stay up 'til a decent time tonight. Like at least 9:30. It's my birthday weekend, and I don't want to sleep through the festivities.
Something has changed, and I don't like it. Last week, and yesterday, I was so tired that I couldn't stay up past 3pm. So both days I was like "oh I'm just going to sleep for 2 hours, please wake me up." And Justin, with fear in his heart (I'm not good at being awakened), agreed. Both days I yelled at him and went back to bed...Last week I ended up just sleeping right through until 5am. That's like 16 hours of sleep! And it's not like I needed it either. I woke up multiple times fully ready to wake up, but I didn't get up because Justin was in bed and there's nothing to do at 1am and I didn't just want to watch tv etc. So yesterday it happened again. I didn't want a repeat performance though, so I made myself get up at 8 (even though I was sulky and prickly) and stay up for a few hours, before going back to bed. I managed to get it down to about 11 hours of sleep, which is much less obscene.
So, now it's 5:30am and I'm going to do everything I can to stay up 'til a decent time tonight. Like at least 9:30. It's my birthday weekend, and I don't want to sleep through the festivities.
Slow.
I now have cheekbones, collarbones and shoulder blades. I have noticed a definite reduction in the cellulite on my thighs and bum. I haven't been on the scale this week but I don't think I've lost any weight. I feel sort of bloated and I'm out of diet pills. My shirt was too big last night though. Progress is slow.
I Know
It's been awhile, but I try not to post when I have a bad attitude, and I seem to be having a string of not great days. Something is wrong with our car...the shift cylanoid (???) is broken or breaking and it makes the car shift hard and the "check engine" light come on. I'm pretty sure this is expensive to fix, and I'm pretty sure that we don't just have the money off hand. The hard drive to this computer is also dying a slow death, we're not sure how much longer it's got but I see a new on in the near future. My mom sent my birthday card to the wrong address. I've lived here for 2 years, and before that my aunt lived here for like 70 years. *sigh* Maybe the terrible mailman will take pity on me.
My niece is having her 3rd birthday party this evening, which we can't attend because it doesn't start until 6pm and we should be long asleep by then, as we have to work tonight. Everyone in charge of planning the party knew that, and still they exclude us. It's quite hurtful. I'm posting a picture of the birthday girl anyway. It's not her fault. So, here's Hannah:
Cute, isn't she?
Also, as it turns out, (and this should be a surprise to no one), I am not a good jump roper. I can do about 10 jumps in a row before it smacks into my toes (yes, of course I'm barefoot), and then I curse loudly. Sometimes instead of smacking into my toes it catches on my gigantic butt. It also seems to exacerbate what I think is a stress fracture in my right leg. (Probably caused from jump roping badly). But it's a lot of fun anyway, so I'm going to keep doing it. After a "weekend" of no jumping, my leg feels a little better.
Actually, after posting, I am feeling a little better in general. Maybe I should blog when I have a bad attitude. Hmm.
One week from tomorrow, I will be 26.
One year ago yesterday, I got my wedding dress in the mail.
My niece is having her 3rd birthday party this evening, which we can't attend because it doesn't start until 6pm and we should be long asleep by then, as we have to work tonight. Everyone in charge of planning the party knew that, and still they exclude us. It's quite hurtful. I'm posting a picture of the birthday girl anyway. It's not her fault. So, here's Hannah:
Cute, isn't she?
Also, as it turns out, (and this should be a surprise to no one), I am not a good jump roper. I can do about 10 jumps in a row before it smacks into my toes (yes, of course I'm barefoot), and then I curse loudly. Sometimes instead of smacking into my toes it catches on my gigantic butt. It also seems to exacerbate what I think is a stress fracture in my right leg. (Probably caused from jump roping badly). But it's a lot of fun anyway, so I'm going to keep doing it. After a "weekend" of no jumping, my leg feels a little better.
Actually, after posting, I am feeling a little better in general. Maybe I should blog when I have a bad attitude. Hmm.
One week from tomorrow, I will be 26.
One year ago yesterday, I got my wedding dress in the mail.
Thanks...
For indulging my insecurity and saying nice things in my last post. I totally expected a whole bunch of "Gah!!" I guess that's all for now... I bought a jump rope today. Those of you who know me well will see the humor in this.
Vanity Thy Name is...
Susan apparently.
Ok I know this is vain and self serving, but does anyone like my new picture?? I think I look like a pretty hot girl...for the first time in, oh....about a year.
Ok I know this is vain and self serving, but does anyone like my new picture?? I think I look like a pretty hot girl...for the first time in, oh....about a year.
Here's another:
And they're new too! Not any of those "while I was still thin" pics that I usually try to post. So ha.
Finally
I passed the 10 pound mark on my weight loss "journey." (Isn't that a cheesy thing to call it? I couldn't think of a better word.) It's actually about 12 lbs down. Hurray!! And, in other things under the "finally" category, my friend Amanda had her baby on the 12. He is very beautiful, and I am very very jealous.He weighs 8 pounds. Ha! I've lost more weight than a baby!
The ballet on Friday was wonderful and beautiful, and in a tiny little theater. It was very intimate, and sometimes I could hear ankles popping. Quite traumatic, as my worse fear is broken ankles (mine or anyone else's).
Terroni, I am working on getting a picture of my hot new bag, perhaps tomorrow.
A Little Culture
Justin and I are going to the ballet tonight. We are seeing A Midsummer Nights Dream. I am sooo excited. It's been ages since I've seen anything on stage, and it's one of my favorite things. He got the tickets for me for my birthday (which is still a while away, but you have to jump on stuff like this. The show's only here for 3 days). Anyway, it's just the best, most thoughtful gift ever! I also managed to find a lovely purse yesterday, so the great bag search has ended. It was in one of those little boutique shops that market to 13 year old girls and housewives who wish they were still 13 year old girls. It's not a place that I would normally have ever gone in, but I saw a bag in the window and you know... Anyway it was fantastic! And cheap! And don't tell anyone, but I'm probably going to go back! I figure the class of the ballet negates the tackiness of the shop. So there.
Happy Easter
There's snow on the ground here....the first snow always seems to be the week of Halloween and the last one the week of Easter. I thought that maybe that wouldn't be true this year since Easter seems later than it used to be, but apparently it doesn't matter. Eat a chocolate bunny for me!
Gimme My Fix
Newly addicted to html, I've done some tweaking on Justin's blog too. He also has a new post.
Also
I really want a new purse. I saw one today that I really really liked, except that it had a huge rhinestone cross on the front. I really wanted to ask the lady where she got it, but I generally don't talk to strangers in public. I've looked all over the internet for one similar in shape, size and color (square, big, pink) but I can't find one anywhere. *sigh* I guess it's just not meant to be.
Also
I really want a new purse. I saw one today that I really really liked, except that it had a huge rhinestone cross on the front. I really wanted to ask the lady where she got it, but I generally don't talk to strangers in public. I've looked all over the internet for one similar in shape, size and color (square, big, pink) but I can't find one anywhere. *sigh* I guess it's just not meant to be.
(another) New Look
Ok, so most of the comments about my previous new look were not that great so I'm trying something else. I think I really like this format, the only problem being that I can't figure out how to get my blog title at the top where it goes, so if anyone knows how to do this please let me know. Also let me know if it is
a.) reflective enough of my girly-girl nature (Patrick)
b.) less "expectant mother-ish" (Proxima)
and
c.) I think that the title is probably easy to read now (Teronni), although it isn't exactly where I want it, for a long time it wasn't there at all, this is better than nothing.
Comments welcome!
A New Look
I've made some template changes to my blog, for what I think is a cleaner look...Let me know what you think...
All Wet
This has nothing to do with anything, but I think this picture of Maybe is really cute:
Ok, so today Justin and I were going to take a quick trip to Lubbock to see The 300. (If you get to the movies before 5pm, it's only $5.) So we stopped for gas as we got into town, and when Justin got back in the car, the battery was dead. (This is after a long string of battery deaths and restarts that we've had over the past few months. Yes, we knew that we should probably buy a new battery, but we haven't wanted to spend the money on it because, as it turns out, they are quite expensive.) Sooo, Justin asks the guy driving the Best Buy Geek Squad VW beetle for a jump so that we can get to an auto parts store and sell our souls for a battery. He agrees to boost us, but it doesn't work (I say it's because his car had a weird battery, but Justin says that his battery just wasn't strong enough for the boost...whatever.) Justin then asks him if he would mind taking him to the auto parts store down the street about a mile so he can buy a battery, and just drop him off there. He doesn't want him to wait or anything, just a drop off...the guy says "nope, good luck," and takes off. Did I mention that it's POURING DOWN RAIN? Oh, and FREEZING.
Justin takes off walking for the auto parts store, and I sit in the car crying because I'm afraid he's going to get run over on the highway, and about 10 minutes later he comes back, soaked and without a battery because it has started raining harder and he can't make it to the store because the road is all flooded and there is no sidewalk, and he keeps getting tidal waved by the cars, which just keep on speeding by. THEN we decide to call the roadside assistance number that is in our phone. Hey, we pay for that, why not use it? So I call them, and they tell me that we do not in fact, have roadside assistance, in spite of the fact that we remember specifically asking for it when we signed up for this phone plan. THEN the cell phone battery died. (My curling iron was also dead this morning...I think we're developing a pattern.)
The rain started to let up and Justin headed out again for the auto parts store. This time someone stopped and picked him up. (Never mind the fact that the guy was drunk and almost got them run over by a Humvee. We are still very grateful for his help.) He took Justin to the store, and then brought him back. They tried to jump our existing battery again, just for giggles and it started. (see I told you it was that damn Bug.) We high-tailed it to the auto parts store, as they had told Justin that they would install it for free, but once they got our old battery out it turned out that the ($100!!) battery we had purchased was in fact, not the correct kind. They didn't have the right one, but someone at the other store did and they could bring it right over...Might as well have a 10 minute oil change while we wait, since we're well over the limit on that particular maintenance chore.
ONE HOUR LATER...
The guy arrives with our fresh new battery, we shell out some more cash for it, (apparently they just keep getting more expensive the longer you wait) and we are on our merry way. By this time we were waaaay too drained to see the movie, so we came home to warm up, (dry off in Justin's case) and get taken out for free dinner by my dad. Yay Dad! We managed to spend four hours and nearly $200 in Lubbock today and not get off 19th street. That takes some serious talent.
So, that was our day, how was yours?
Aww and Oww
Look at this adorable picture of our niece Nikaia:
In other news, I think I have swimmers ear. Don't ask me how it's not like I've been swimming and I try to get all the water out of my ears when I shower, but my ears hurt, and feel hot, and super pressurized, and just popping them isn't working to solve the problem, and the pain gets worse if I tug gently on my earlobes. (Why, you ask, is she tugging on her earlobes? Well usually it feels nice and helps me go to sleep, but not at the moment.) Ok, so does anyone know anything I can do to help this? Being a modern girl I did some research online, but everything says to go to the doctor and my $300 deductible says otherwise. Home remedies anyone??
Wow
Looking at old emails...Four years ago today is the first time I told Justin that I was falling in love with him. It's amazing remembering how far we've come since then...everything we've been through and where we are now. I could not be happier.
This is the most recent picture of us together. I think it was about a month ago.
This is the most recent picture of us together. I think it was about a month ago.
Found!
Justin found his wallet. It was on top of the lockers at work. We think someone there found it and instead of turning it into a supervisor they stuck it up there thinking it would be safe and that he was one of the few people tall enough to see up there. Which he did. Everything is untouched which is great, but even greater, the bank issued us a new debit card no questions asked. Rah!
In weight loss news, I haven't been on the scale during a well...during an accurate time of the month so I'm not sure if I've lost any more (it says 1 pound so maybe), however I have these new big dents in the tops of my thighs which make my legs look skinny but my hips look bigger by comparison. I don't like this random spot weight loss....Oh well at least something is happening.
In weight loss news, I haven't been on the scale during a well...during an accurate time of the month so I'm not sure if I've lost any more (it says 1 pound so maybe), however I have these new big dents in the tops of my thighs which make my legs look skinny but my hips look bigger by comparison. I don't like this random spot weight loss....Oh well at least something is happening.
Lost
Ok so the blog isn't going to go incognito. I'm just too lazy.Justin seems to have lost his wallet. The last place he remembers putting it was on the visor of the car, but it's not there or anywhere else in the car, or the house as far as we can tell. Our best bet now is that he left it at work, but no one there has turned it in yet. What a giant pain.
We've already canceled the bank card, which is a huge huge pain, as we don't usually carry much cash, and the bank is in Lubbock, so we'll have to go all the way over there to pick up some cash. Also, we don't think they'll give us a new card. The thing is, when we opened the account, we got a savings account, and we thought it was really snazzy because our bank is the only one I've ever been to that gives a visa debit card for savings accounts. Usually you have to have a checking account for that sort of magic. Then in January they decided that they didn't like the policy of giving out cards to savings account holders, and they wanted everyone to either open a checking account or turn in their cards. However, they can't legally just take the cards away from savings account customers. So they wait until you screw up the account somehow or have to cancel the card and then haha! You don't have a card anymore. Ugh.
We don't want a checking account. They always get overdrawn even when we try really hard and then we have to pay a bunch of money and get a new account. Blah. Oh well it'll work out. We're pretty sure the wallet isn't stolen, so I'm sure it will turn up somewhere stupid. If (and this is unlikely) any of you see it lying around please mail it to the address on the drivers license.
Disregard the bad picture of me.
Are You on the List?
Justin would like for me to make my blog private so that not just anyone can read it. This sounds like a whole bunch of trouble to me, but I'm thinking of trying it out. If you read my blog, and you want to continue to read my blog if it goes under the radar please email me your email address, and I will send you an invite so that you have to work for admittance.It'll be like Studio54, without the drugs.
Again, I might not actually go this route because I like hearing from strangers. Thanks to Teronni for the comment by the way. I see you have an under the radar blog. (I assume, because I couldn't see it.) How's that workin' for ya?
Any thoughts are, as always, appreciated
Crisis Averted
OK, so as it turns out we aren't going to have to move by the end of April, unless we want to. Les (my ex-brother-in-law, as you remember) said that he didn't intend to cause trouble by letting me know about the house being switched over, and that D'Liesa had told him that we were planning to move, so April was just an arbitrary date. We can stay as long as we want to, and we will re-sign a new lease with him at some point to pay $176 for rent. (That will save us $130/month which is quite exciting.) He also told me exactly how this came to pass, which is really really interesting but I'm not going to go into it now. It's just too much to type.
It's spring break now, and Justin got his XBox back from the Microsoft repair center just in time, so he's happy. It came back really quickly, and initially we thought that it was still broken because the drawer was stuck the first time, but it seems to be working fine now, so yay for Justin!
Maybe got fixed last week and I took her yesterday to get her stitches out. Her belly is all floppy from where she was swollen and it's funny, but we're trying not to make fun of her. I'd hate for her to develop a complex or point out all of my floppy places...
Speaking of floppy places, I seem to be losing and gaining the same 3 pounds over and over. Since mid-January I've managed to lose, and keep off 6 pounds, but my birth control seems to make that pesky 3 come and go every week so I can't add it to the total yet. I've boosted my exercise though so maybe in a couple of weeks I can say "Yes! 9!" We'll see. I'm hoping to have lost enough by the end of May that we can go see my mom sometime around our anniversary. I don't want to go if I'm just going to get called fat again.
I started tanning on Thursday so I feel really happy. The extra melanin that it produces in me makes me feel soooo good. And even though I know that tanning is really NOT GOOD for my skin, it is really quite good for my depression, and I figure that if I only tan for a couple of months a year that the trade off is worth it. I don't spend any time in the actual sun anyway so I'm probably only getting the amount of exposure that a normal person gets in a day anyway.
I guess that's all for now. I feel excellent. Maybe I'll go for a walk...
It's spring break now, and Justin got his XBox back from the Microsoft repair center just in time, so he's happy. It came back really quickly, and initially we thought that it was still broken because the drawer was stuck the first time, but it seems to be working fine now, so yay for Justin!
Maybe got fixed last week and I took her yesterday to get her stitches out. Her belly is all floppy from where she was swollen and it's funny, but we're trying not to make fun of her. I'd hate for her to develop a complex or point out all of my floppy places...
Speaking of floppy places, I seem to be losing and gaining the same 3 pounds over and over. Since mid-January I've managed to lose, and keep off 6 pounds, but my birth control seems to make that pesky 3 come and go every week so I can't add it to the total yet. I've boosted my exercise though so maybe in a couple of weeks I can say "Yes! 9!" We'll see. I'm hoping to have lost enough by the end of May that we can go see my mom sometime around our anniversary. I don't want to go if I'm just going to get called fat again.
I started tanning on Thursday so I feel really happy. The extra melanin that it produces in me makes me feel soooo good. And even though I know that tanning is really NOT GOOD for my skin, it is really quite good for my depression, and I figure that if I only tan for a couple of months a year that the trade off is worth it. I don't spend any time in the actual sun anyway so I'm probably only getting the amount of exposure that a normal person gets in a day anyway.
I guess that's all for now. I feel excellent. Maybe I'll go for a walk...
Well La Di Da
I know, I know it's been like a freakin' month since I posted last. I promise promise I'll try to do better. So we got some exciting news yesterday...we're moving! How could this be news, you ask, don't people normally plan for a move weeks or months in advance, you ask. Well, we've never been much for tradition I suppose...BAH!I'll get to that. First here's an update on something else: As you know, Justin's sister, Ashlie, got married a little while before us and now has a lovely little girl, Nikaia. His mom called us a couple of weeks ago and told us that her husband, (Ashlies, not Justin's mom's husband anyway) we'll call him Jerkface, was being emotionally abusive and controlling and that she (Ash) didn't know what to do. Some time after that Justin talked to Ashlie and she confirmed this, but told him that she had decided to leave him and just didn't know how or when. Something like a week after that HE LEFT HER! I cannot believe that he thinks he's the one that's been wronged here. I guess though, that he saved her the trouble. But it still sucks. She is now living with her parents (and Nikaia), and seems to be pretty happy about the whole thing, but I know that it's hard and I'm sure that she's scared and hurting, even though she's putting on a totally brave face. Anyway Ashlie is a strong, smart, hot girl and I know that she's gonna make it through this. Besides she's about to be finished with dental hygiene school, which totally blows whatever Jerkface's stupid job was out of the water anyway.
So here's the real deal about our surprise move: Yesterday I checked my myspace email...I don't know why I bother, I rarely have messages there, but I digress. I had an email from my ex-brother-in-law (Les) telling me that my stepsister (D'Liesa), who we rent this house from, signed over the deed and all rights to the property to him on FEBRUARY 6, and he hopes she told us that we need to be out by the end of April!!!
Ok so here are the facts:
* It's been a full month since this dirty deal was made and until yesterday we hadn't heard a whisper about it.
*During that time we saw D'Liesa, in person at least once and I talked to her on the phone twice.
*Since Les is now in charge, our rent has gone from $300 to $176 (the cost of the actual mortgage for him, this is the one positive fact in the case).
*The rent change was effective on February 6, however we didn't know this, so we paid D'Liesa the full $300 on February 14.
*I think that means she owes us $124, but she's not even acknowledging that. She also isn't acknowledging that she might be a little bit in the wrong here. All she keeps saying is that she called multiple times and left messages for me to call her so she could tell me and I never called her back. Ok people, I have a cell phone. It tells me every call that comes in and it's not in the habit of hiding messages from me. She did not call. Not once. Which is beside the point, as I mentioned We saw her in person 2 weeks after the change!! She also could have sent an email, a comment on myspace, a letter or a freakin' carrier pigeon!! There is no excuse for this.
Did I mention that we saw her in person?
I know that we have almost two full months to get it together and find a place and move, and I also suspect that if we ask nicely, Les would let us stay 'til May when school is out and there will be more available living space, but that is not even the point. The point is that we could have had a whole extra month to plan and save look at options. It's really hard to find somewhere decent (and affordable) to live in this college town. Plus, we've been working and working to save money so that we have some cash in savings and maybe some to take a little vacation for our anniversary, and now, I'm sure we're going to have to spend a whole big bunch of it on deposits and transfers and general moving crap and then we'll be back to doing the paycheck to paycheck thing. Plus, I'm quite sure that we'll never see the cash that D'Liesa swindled from us for last months rent again. (And I KNOW that's why she didn't tell us about the change, she wanted that cash. Cow.)
Anyway, we're not opposed to moving to the Canyon area so y'all in that region keep an eye out for us....
I cannot believe I got through this whole post without cursing.
Apologies All Around
I'd like to take this moment to say I'm sorry for the lack of posts of late. I just have been very very unmotivated to blog for the last couple of weeks. There just isn't anything happening right now that I want to post about... but here's an update anyway.
I'm working on losing weight. Again. It's an endless and uphill battle. I would trade places with Sisyphus in an instant. That said, I have lost about 4 pounds in slightly less than a month. I know it's not much, but as you'll remember, this is twice as much as my 2 pound loss resolution. And even though 4 pounds sounds paltry, check out how big 4 pounds of hamburger meat is. So there. I've lost slightly under 2 inches off my waist, but mostly it seems to be coming out of my face. No more double chins for this chica. We're taking front and side pictures once a week to document my progress, but as they are in my underwear, and I'm a fat girl, they won't be displayed here. Count your lucky stars.
We are also still waiting for an insurance reimbursement check for our glasses. (Did I mention that I got new glasses? I can't remember. Well I did. So did Justin) We've been waiting for this check since it was cut on the 8th of January. For some reason they didn't choose to mail the check until the 23rd of January... and it's not here yet. I'm pretty sure they sent it to the wrong address...Here's the thing, if we just had enough money to pay for the glasses with no hope of reimbursement why would we have the insurance?? This is ludicrous.
In other news, my family seems to be coming to pieces one at a time. My aunt fell last week and broke her (right) arm. I drove her to the Dr. yesterday to check out how well he did in surgery on Wednesday. He seems pretty pleased with his work. Don't they always?
My little niece, Hannah, who is almost 3 has been in the hospital for 3 days, (no one told me until yesterday by the way) with some sort of a bacterial infection which they can't seem to identify. All she wants is to watch Cinderella. We're buying it for her today. They know for sure that it's not StrepThroat or Appendicitis, but that's about it.
And, the icing on the cake, my younger brother, Steven, keeps passing out. It happened 3 weeks ago at church (they told me that today, clearly I'm out of the loop) and then again last night at WalMart. They took him to the emergency room last night and they couldn't find anything wrong besides the fact that his blood sugar was very low, and he was wearing about 5 layers of clothes. We're thinking maybe hypoglycemia, which is good because we were afraid initially that it might be a problem with is shunt. (He has hydrocephalus.) Hypoglycemia will be considerably easier to treat.
So that's the update. Maybe I had something to say after all...
I'm working on losing weight. Again. It's an endless and uphill battle. I would trade places with Sisyphus in an instant. That said, I have lost about 4 pounds in slightly less than a month. I know it's not much, but as you'll remember, this is twice as much as my 2 pound loss resolution. And even though 4 pounds sounds paltry, check out how big 4 pounds of hamburger meat is. So there. I've lost slightly under 2 inches off my waist, but mostly it seems to be coming out of my face. No more double chins for this chica. We're taking front and side pictures once a week to document my progress, but as they are in my underwear, and I'm a fat girl, they won't be displayed here. Count your lucky stars.
We are also still waiting for an insurance reimbursement check for our glasses. (Did I mention that I got new glasses? I can't remember. Well I did. So did Justin) We've been waiting for this check since it was cut on the 8th of January. For some reason they didn't choose to mail the check until the 23rd of January... and it's not here yet. I'm pretty sure they sent it to the wrong address...Here's the thing, if we just had enough money to pay for the glasses with no hope of reimbursement why would we have the insurance?? This is ludicrous.
In other news, my family seems to be coming to pieces one at a time. My aunt fell last week and broke her (right) arm. I drove her to the Dr. yesterday to check out how well he did in surgery on Wednesday. He seems pretty pleased with his work. Don't they always?
My little niece, Hannah, who is almost 3 has been in the hospital for 3 days, (no one told me until yesterday by the way) with some sort of a bacterial infection which they can't seem to identify. All she wants is to watch Cinderella. We're buying it for her today. They know for sure that it's not StrepThroat or Appendicitis, but that's about it.
And, the icing on the cake, my younger brother, Steven, keeps passing out. It happened 3 weeks ago at church (they told me that today, clearly I'm out of the loop) and then again last night at WalMart. They took him to the emergency room last night and they couldn't find anything wrong besides the fact that his blood sugar was very low, and he was wearing about 5 layers of clothes. We're thinking maybe hypoglycemia, which is good because we were afraid initially that it might be a problem with is shunt. (He has hydrocephalus.) Hypoglycemia will be considerably easier to treat.
So that's the update. Maybe I had something to say after all...
Art or Psychotherapy?
The results of this analysis say:
You tend to pursue many different activities simultaneously. When misfortune does happen, it doesn't actually dishearten you all that much.You are a thoughtful and cautious person. You like to think about your method, seeking to pursue your goal in the most effective way.
You are creative, mentally active and industrious.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.
Snow Day!
So Friday afternoon it started snowing, and it just kept on snowing until Saturday afternoon. I love it when I can stay home and just watch it snow without having to worry about getting out and going anywhere. They closed the center where we work last night so we were off and we just got to hang out and stay cozy. It was really nice. Of course we have to drive to work tonight...I'm hoping that during the afternoon it melts off some. Cross your fingers. Here's some pics from this morning. I really wanted to get some before the snow was all walked around in but for some reason I didn't think about it until after I had driven through the yard. Oh well, perhaps the deepness of the footprints/tire marks will show you how deep the snow is.
This is the view from the front porch.
These are the giant icicles growing off our house. I think they are very very cool.
This is Maybe. She thinks snow is for eating. She thinks everything is for eating.
And here is Maybe looking all tragic after I made her sit down in the snow. Please don't call PETA, she's fine I promise.
This is the view from the front porch.
These are the giant icicles growing off our house. I think they are very very cool.
This is Maybe. She thinks snow is for eating. She thinks everything is for eating.
And here is Maybe looking all tragic after I made her sit down in the snow. Please don't call PETA, she's fine I promise.Ice
This is what it looks like outside:
The police, the news, and the National Weather Service are telling people not to drive unless there is an extreme emergency. My father, the fireman, has gone out on 12 wrecks in the last 6 hours. Two involving fatalities. There is an inch of ice on the on my porch. At least that much on the road. They tell us we are expected to be at work (30 miles away), because our corporate office is in South Dakota, and our weather can't possibly be as bad as theirs. That is bullshit.
We are not driving over a treacherous road in the middle of the night so that we can assist college students in their prank phone calls all night long.
The police, the news, and the National Weather Service are telling people not to drive unless there is an extreme emergency. My father, the fireman, has gone out on 12 wrecks in the last 6 hours. Two involving fatalities. There is an inch of ice on the on my porch. At least that much on the road. They tell us we are expected to be at work (30 miles away), because our corporate office is in South Dakota, and our weather can't possibly be as bad as theirs. That is bullshit.
We are not driving over a treacherous road in the middle of the night so that we can assist college students in their prank phone calls all night long.
We are staying home.
Fat Like Me
Well we're back from our trip. It was generally a good time, the flights were uneventful as usual and there were no major fights the entire trip. We did some fun shopping with our Christmas money and got to eat at some good places and see the George Bush Library, which if you haven't been to, is a really fun place to go.The only downside to the trip is that the entire time my mom harassed me about my weight. Hello, fat people know we're fat. It's not a secret that you have to whisper to us in the car on the way to the pizza place. It's not something that we have to be reminded of every hour or so by concerned citizens. Clearly my mom doesn't understand this. At one point while I was in the bathroom she even said to Justin "I'm really sorry Susan has gained so much weight since the wedding." (I've gained maybe 8 or 10 pounds geez.) He immediately told her that it was inappropriate behavior for her to say things like that to him {Justins Note: I don't actually know if she heard me or not. I was scared} , so instead she got me alone every chance she could and told me how much I need to watch what I eat, and that 2 mini bagles (240 calories) is way to much for anyone to eat for breakfast. Needless to say my struggling self esteem has taken a nose dive. Again.
Yeah, I'm fully aware that I need to lose weight. I actually have been walking what I think amounts to 1 and a half miles at work every night on my lunch hour and break. I've been eating healthier. I've lost 4 pounds in about a month. Yes I know that's not record breaking, but at least it's something. At least I'm trying. I shouldn't have had to cry every day of my vacation. Justin's mom is giving us a treadmill. Apparently they're closing ranks. I wish I had the willpower to get an eating disorder.
Out of the Office
We are leaving for our trip in 10 hours. 6 of those will be spent at work and one of them driving to work so they don't count. 3 hours til our vacation!!!
Be back Monday.
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