November 23, 1963
Dear Texas,
So, the President of the United States was assassinated on your watch yesterday. Not just any president either, a pretty good one! And while, we'd really like to just kick you out of the Union and be done with it, you have most of the oil, cattle and cotton. We like those things, so you get to stay.
However, you have to be punished for what really amounts to negligent homicide. Really, you didn't think to check for snipers in tall buildings?? Anyway, we've decided that an appropriate action is to pass a law saying that nobody born in, or claiming Texas as his/her home state can run for president. We wanted to make it FOREVER, but have decided to say 100 years. Surely you guys will have straightened up by then.
And yeah, we realize that Lyndon Johnson is from Texas, but he slipped in before we thought to write the law. Too late now...what's the worst that could happen?
Yours Sincerely,
The Members of Congress, The Supreme Court and the Pope, for good measure.
{{Appx. 18 months later, the office of the letter writer...
Aw crap, he did what? Vietnam? Who joins a land war in Asia? Crazy Texans. Thank goodness -that- won't happen again!}}
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Happy 4th
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Stop trying to kick and/or keep people out.
The Not-so-Friendly Skies
The terrorists have won. This became clear the moment that security measures in airports went from "increased" to "insane." It was ok when they told me I could no longer carry more than 3.4 ounces of liquid (or GEL, god, not the GEL!) through security. It was ok, when they thought that perhaps they should "randomly" search my bag...every time I fly. It was even ok when they told me that I couldn't travel with nail clippers, tweezers or a scalpel. However, it is not fine that they've decided that the best way to secure our skies is by sexually assaulting people. Not. Okay. In the past few weeks, stories have started being published about dozens of violations by TSA agents.*A bladder cancer survivor had the seal on his urostomy bag broken, covering him with urine. After he explained his medical condition, and the need for them to be careful of the wafer.
*A three-year old was terrorized by a TSA agent doing an invasive search.
Who are the bad guys here? In the past, TSA agents were to pat fliers down using the backs of their hands. Now, agents are instructed to use their palms and fingers to "investigate," including probing genitals and breasts. People have gone to jail for less. Excuse me, but I've already had my pap smear and breast exam this year, and I can assure you, it wasn't done by the federal equivalent of a rent-a-cop.
The biggest story about the TSA drama has come from Penn Jillette. In 2002 he was groped in the airport by a TSA screener, who didn't bother to ask if he could grab his business. Jillette got the police involved, and filed a report of assault and battery, with a very willing police officer. The entire time, TSA officials repeated "we have no problem here." Clearly, they do. I'm flying in 10 days. I'm a little terrified of what's going to happen when I get to security.
This post doesn't even address complaints about the possible dangers (hello, undisclosed levels of radiation) of the new back scanners, and the general discomfort the public feels about the full body scanners. If I wanted strangers to see me [basically] naked, I would have become a stripper. I understand the need for safety, I really do, however I don't think that safety should come at the cost of freedom and dignity. Invasive screens should be reserved for people on watch lists, no-fly lists, and those behaving in suspicious ways. I'm not saying "only screen the Arabs! They're the ter'rusts," because that's certainly not true. However, a little discretion is called for. Flight attendants (with proper ID) should probably be free to fly unmolested. Children should not be accosted. Little old ladies/men should be given the benefit of the doubt without having to remove their various medical devices. Recently, a blogger leaked information about a new directive which advised airlines to restrict passengers from getting out of their seats, concealing their hands, or accessing carry-on luggage an hour before landing. Alright guys, if I'm flying to Dallas, that's the entire flight. If you're not gonna let me get to my carry on for my Kindle, we're gonna have a serious problem. Obviously, the TSA was pissed about this development, and they went to the blogger's house, armed (!! Who gave the TSA guns?!), took all his electronics and threatened to get him fired from his job. As a journalist. Something tells me the NY Times wasn't particularly eager to give into that request.
What the hell is going on? When did we give people with bare minimum, high school educations control over our lives? And how did we let them become so power hungry? The future's not looking so bright.
"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." --Benjamin Franklin
Teapot
So, for some time now, (years and years, actually) I've considered getting a tattoo of a small teapot, representative of Russell's teapot. And now I've decided to do it for sure, having found an appropriate design, except I'm afraid that people will think it's some symbol of the Tea Party. I really would prefer not to be associated with most of those crazies. (Yes, I know some of them really -are- just about small gov't and lower taxes...but most of them are about the crazy. If they weren't about the crazy, they'd just be Libertarians.) So here's the question. If you saw a teapot tattoo, similar to this:
(Except, obvs. not on a black background.) Would you think "Ahh!! Crazy Tea partier!" or just "Interesting tattoo, wonder what that's about?" (Or, if you're -really- cool (read: geeky), I guess you could think, "Oh,wow! It's Russell's teapot!")
Slightly related: I found a notebook that says "I'll take your Pascal's wager and raise you one Russell's teapot." That might be the funniest office supply I've ever seen.
I'm Sure this Sounds Callous.
I'm feeling sort of conflicted about the whole Phoebe Prince thing. My opinions on the matter seem to be in direct opposition to what I'd like to think I believe, but since I believe what I'm going to say here, they must not be.
1. Nobody kills themselves soley because they're bullied. Depression is a disease. Suicide comes when that disease is untreated, poorly treated or just too bad to fix. It's like cancer. Phoebe Prince had a history of depression. She'd attempted suicide at least once before the bullying began, and was a cutter (which, in case you aren't aware, isn't the same thing at all as attempted suicide). Phoebe missed her father, who stayed in Ireland after her parents' divorce. There were a lot of factors at play here besides some mean kids. I think that to say that she killed herself because of the bullying makes it seem like her depression is less of a factor. It makes it taken less seriously as an illness, and that isn't good for anyone.
2. The mean kids weren't all that mean. Some names were called, to her face and on Facebook/Twitter/passed notes. (I read the full report, so don't anybody jump on me about how I don't know how bad it was.) Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, nothing that unusual, particularly since the girls doing most of the name calling were jealous that Phoebe had hooked up with their boyfriends while they were "on a break." It's standard teenage drama. And yeah, she was probably upset about it, who wouldn't be? However, none of those names seem cruel enough, on their own, to drive someone over the edge. Even a fragile teenager. And ok, one girl threw an (empty) soda can at her from a car window. She's been charged with "assault with a deadly weapon." What the hell? Exactly how hard did she throw that can? An empty aluminum can weighs about .05 ounces. It would have to have been tossed off by a rocket launcher or something equally impressive to have caused any actual harm to anyone. Assault? Sure, but not with a deadly weapon, to say the least the packet of ranch dressing that came with my salad would have made more of an impact. I understand the need to for schools and communities to take a tougher stand on bullying, but the DA in this case is clearly trying to make an example of these kids (along with a name for herself), and that seems unfair. What they did was crappy and wrong, but suspend them from school. Take away their cars, ground them for the summer. Hell, ground them until they're married, but don't send them to jail for 10 years. That's just ridiculous, and it isn't going to help anyone.
3. Bullying is (sort of) protected under the First Amendment. The things the teens said at school can (and should have) been dealt with by the administration. None of them made any threats, so it doesn't count as assault. Technically, they could be charged with misdemeanor harrassment, but the trouble didn't even go on long enough for it to seep over into the felony category. Once again, the kids were assholes, not criminals. If we start prosecuting every kid that says something mean or snarky to somebody at school or online, where will it stop? They'd have to shut down FoxNews all together, not to mention arrest every politician that ever ran a smear ad. With the exception of my friend Amanda, everyone in the country would be spending some time in jail for bullying. I believe in pretty big government, but not anywhere near that big.
4. I can't even bring up the statuatory rape charges leveled at the two boys in this case. It's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time. Enough said.
So that's where I am. I think the kids were jerks. I think they should have gotten in trouble with their school and their parents for being jerky, schools should have tough anti-bullying policies and they should be enforced. If the bullying bleeds over into hate-crime territory against black kids, or gay kids or, whatever-minority-kids, someone should bring in the big guns. And somebody at that school should have noticed the ugliness before Phoebe killed herself, but who's to say she wouldn't have done it anyway? And that's sad. It's terrible when a smart, pretty girl takes her own life, no matter what the circumstances are. I completely understand the drive to make somebody pay for that. (Trust me, I'm a -huge- fan of vigilante justice.) The problem in this case is that they're going after the wrong people. The blame for Phoebe Prince's death should go to her disease, not her classmates. Prosecuting people for nastiness can't possibly lead anywhere good, and the erosion of basic freedoms won't stop people from feeling out of place, out of sorts, out of their minds when they're teenagers.
This sort of craziness needs to stop somewhere. I know this entry won't make me particularly popular. I know that people will call me heartless, and bitchy (and maybe they'll go to jail for it...).I'm sure someone will say that I don't understand how bad it hurts when someone is mean to you, but I do. I'm not heartless, I feel terrible for Phoebe's family, and my heart breaks for her, because feeling so much pain that you think you can't stand it anymore isn't something anyone should have to endure. The thing is, ruining the lives of six other teenagers and their families isn't going to fix that.
1. Nobody kills themselves soley because they're bullied. Depression is a disease. Suicide comes when that disease is untreated, poorly treated or just too bad to fix. It's like cancer. Phoebe Prince had a history of depression. She'd attempted suicide at least once before the bullying began, and was a cutter (which, in case you aren't aware, isn't the same thing at all as attempted suicide). Phoebe missed her father, who stayed in Ireland after her parents' divorce. There were a lot of factors at play here besides some mean kids. I think that to say that she killed herself because of the bullying makes it seem like her depression is less of a factor. It makes it taken less seriously as an illness, and that isn't good for anyone.
2. The mean kids weren't all that mean. Some names were called, to her face and on Facebook/Twitter/passed notes. (I read the full report, so don't anybody jump on me about how I don't know how bad it was.) Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, nothing that unusual, particularly since the girls doing most of the name calling were jealous that Phoebe had hooked up with their boyfriends while they were "on a break." It's standard teenage drama. And yeah, she was probably upset about it, who wouldn't be? However, none of those names seem cruel enough, on their own, to drive someone over the edge. Even a fragile teenager. And ok, one girl threw an (empty) soda can at her from a car window. She's been charged with "assault with a deadly weapon." What the hell? Exactly how hard did she throw that can? An empty aluminum can weighs about .05 ounces. It would have to have been tossed off by a rocket launcher or something equally impressive to have caused any actual harm to anyone. Assault? Sure, but not with a deadly weapon, to say the least the packet of ranch dressing that came with my salad would have made more of an impact. I understand the need to for schools and communities to take a tougher stand on bullying, but the DA in this case is clearly trying to make an example of these kids (along with a name for herself), and that seems unfair. What they did was crappy and wrong, but suspend them from school. Take away their cars, ground them for the summer. Hell, ground them until they're married, but don't send them to jail for 10 years. That's just ridiculous, and it isn't going to help anyone.
3. Bullying is (sort of) protected under the First Amendment. The things the teens said at school can (and should have) been dealt with by the administration. None of them made any threats, so it doesn't count as assault. Technically, they could be charged with misdemeanor harrassment, but the trouble didn't even go on long enough for it to seep over into the felony category. Once again, the kids were assholes, not criminals. If we start prosecuting every kid that says something mean or snarky to somebody at school or online, where will it stop? They'd have to shut down FoxNews all together, not to mention arrest every politician that ever ran a smear ad. With the exception of my friend Amanda, everyone in the country would be spending some time in jail for bullying. I believe in pretty big government, but not anywhere near that big.
4. I can't even bring up the statuatory rape charges leveled at the two boys in this case. It's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time. Enough said.
So that's where I am. I think the kids were jerks. I think they should have gotten in trouble with their school and their parents for being jerky, schools should have tough anti-bullying policies and they should be enforced. If the bullying bleeds over into hate-crime territory against black kids, or gay kids or, whatever-minority-kids, someone should bring in the big guns. And somebody at that school should have noticed the ugliness before Phoebe killed herself, but who's to say she wouldn't have done it anyway? And that's sad. It's terrible when a smart, pretty girl takes her own life, no matter what the circumstances are. I completely understand the drive to make somebody pay for that. (Trust me, I'm a -huge- fan of vigilante justice.) The problem in this case is that they're going after the wrong people. The blame for Phoebe Prince's death should go to her disease, not her classmates. Prosecuting people for nastiness can't possibly lead anywhere good, and the erosion of basic freedoms won't stop people from feeling out of place, out of sorts, out of their minds when they're teenagers.
This sort of craziness needs to stop somewhere. I know this entry won't make me particularly popular. I know that people will call me heartless, and bitchy (and maybe they'll go to jail for it...).I'm sure someone will say that I don't understand how bad it hurts when someone is mean to you, but I do. I'm not heartless, I feel terrible for Phoebe's family, and my heart breaks for her, because feeling so much pain that you think you can't stand it anymore isn't something anyone should have to endure. The thing is, ruining the lives of six other teenagers and their families isn't going to fix that.
In Defense of Helen Thomas
I've been very upset about the whole Helen Thomas "scandal," but didn't have a moment to blog about it until now. I should probably start with a disclaimer:
1. I am not antisemitic. I don't have a problem with Jewish people. I think they have a very interesting, wonderful history and are generally fun, educated, tolerant people. Yay Jews!
2. I am anit-Israel. I don't think it's ok for outside governments to tell a country "we're taking this chunk of your land away because god said that the Jews could have it.
3. The whole concept of a holy land is ridiculous. First of all, if god was going to give his "chosen people" something like that, why would he choose a dirt strip where nothing grows and your worst enemies have been for thousands of years? Poor planning.
Now, on to Helen Thomas.On May 27, 2010, outside the Jewish Heritage Celebration Day event at the White House, the following exchange took place between Thomas and Rabbi David Nesenoff:
Saying that Israel is a valid country is like saying that if Mexico showed up, took over the Texas panhandle and said "this is Mexico now" we'd say that's perfectly acceptable. There was a huge war over this. "Remember the Alamo" anyone? I'm angry that nobody took a second to think about her comments logically, and mad that saying that if you don't support Israel in this country is a death sentence politically and socially and the whole thing just makes me sick.
.
1. I am not antisemitic. I don't have a problem with Jewish people. I think they have a very interesting, wonderful history and are generally fun, educated, tolerant people. Yay Jews!
2. I am anit-Israel. I don't think it's ok for outside governments to tell a country "we're taking this chunk of your land away because god said that the Jews could have it.
3. The whole concept of a holy land is ridiculous. First of all, if god was going to give his "chosen people" something like that, why would he choose a dirt strip where nothing grows and your worst enemies have been for thousands of years? Poor planning.
Now, on to Helen Thomas.On May 27, 2010, outside the Jewish Heritage Celebration Day event at the White House, the following exchange took place between Thomas and Rabbi David Nesenoff:
There was a big stink following this interaction, and Helen Thomas was forced to resign in shame. For saying something that isn't only TRUE, it's not scandalous at all!! Palestine -is- occupied! The people doing the occupation -are- largely from Poland and Germany and the US! The allegations are that by saying Germany and Poland, Thomas implied something about concentration camps. That just leaves a big fat question mark over my head. She didn't say anything wrong. And yeah, her retirement was probably well overdue, but her long career shouldn't be marked by something like this. Particularly because she was right.Nesenoff: Any comments on Israel? We're asking everybody today, any comments on Israel? Thomas: Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine.
Nesenoff: Oooh. Any better comments on Israel?
Thomas: Remember, these people are occupied and it's their land. It's not German, it's not Poland ...
Nesenoff: So where should they go, what should they do?
Thomas: They go home.
Nesenoff: Where's the home?
Thomas: Poland. Germany.
Nesenoff: So you're saying the Jews go back to Poland and Germany?
Thomas: And America and everywhere else. (emphasis mine) Why push people out of there who have lived there for centuries? See?
Saying that Israel is a valid country is like saying that if Mexico showed up, took over the Texas panhandle and said "this is Mexico now" we'd say that's perfectly acceptable. There was a huge war over this. "Remember the Alamo" anyone? I'm angry that nobody took a second to think about her comments logically, and mad that saying that if you don't support Israel in this country is a death sentence politically and socially and the whole thing just makes me sick.
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