90s Movie or Prophecy?

Lately, I feel very much like I'm playing in scenes from Reality Bites. Except nobody smokes anymore.

Somehow, I always knew it would end up this way.

Bad Day. Shitty Insurance.

I found out today that my insurance won't cover the bariatric surgery that I want/need to have for 15 more months. And even at that point, they won't cover it with the doctor that I'd prefer. They insist on using the whack-a-doo who refuses to do anything laparascopically. The guy who hangs out at bars with 19 year old girls. I feel like I can't do anything else with my life until after this happens. I want more schooling, but I'm not going back as the old, fat girl. I can handle one, I can't handle both. I'll be 30 in 18 days. I wanted my 30's to be fabulous, and, as it turns out, they're just going to be crappy.

It would also be nice if every time I was emotional about something, my husband didn't ask me if I was taking my medication properly. I'm allowed to be pissed about this, okay? I'm allowed to be pissed that the hospital I work for would be happy to finance (the other option, when insurance won't cover something) a boob job, or a face lift or an appendectomy, but not a lap band.

Bad Days

I should have known it was going to be a bad day when I woke up with a tick on my arm. I believe in signs and superstition and luck, and recently, my luck has been a bit on the bad side. I'm not exactly sure what it is in my karmic past that's causing all these disasters, but it must have been a doozy.

After getting dressed, I opened the door to leave for work (late), to find an eviction notice from the landlord (if rent isn't paid by Friday), and a disconnect notice from the gas company (if the gas wasn't paid before 8am, today.) As I drove to work, the road was littered with a slew of roadkill, including a gigantic snake. Another bad sign. Great. Work is kind of my safe haven, and I'm not used to dreading it, but with the bloody highway, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The bad didn't disappoint. We had a terribly sad case last night (which I can't discuss here. HIPPA, you know). We were completely out of charts, on every unit, so I wasn't able to be as productive as I like to be. And there was a terrible, vinegar smell, coming from somewhere, which we couldn't find to get rid of. Also, my scrubs smelled like gasoline and something that I ate for dinner was so hot (spice, not temperature) that it left burns/blisters on the inside of my lips and under my tongue. I suppose I should count myself lucky that the heat didn't ignite my gasoliney scrubs.
 Justin called to tell me that his truck has stopped working and that he sold his Xbox to pay the gas bill and for gas/grocery money. That still leaves the rent (and potential car repairs). Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Covenant Compassion woman to fill out the paperwork for a loan to cover our rent. Everything -will be- ok, but right now, it feels very tense.

It's not all bad, despite appearances. Justin got a grant to cover his summer class, which was one of our biggest stresses. We have electricity and water and food, which are the important things. Justin's going to get a summer job at UMC, and hopefully that will help our situation.

Anyway, that's where we are now.