Up too Early for Anything Useful

A. Age: 30 (eeeek!)
B. Bed size: Queen. I'd like a king, so that I can sleep diagonally without crowding Marlowe.
C. Chore that you hate:  Laundry. I wouldn't hate it if we had a washer/dryer in the house though.
D. Dogs: Marlowe and Maybe.
E. Essential start to your day:  Diet Coke
F. Favorite color: It changes pretty regularly. Right now I like gray and magenta.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver. Gold makes me look jaundiced.
H. Height: 5’6"
I. Instruments you play: Currently, I don't play anything, but I've dabbled in piano, harp and clarinet.
J. Job title: None. I'm free as a bird right now.
K. Kids: Not for me, but I like them, on an individual basis.
L. Live: Lubbock, Texas.
M. Mother’s name: I have two moms. (Not in the fun, lesbian way. Unfortunately.) They are Sharon and Sussan. In order of appearance in my life.
N. Nicknames: Bee, Susy, Susalou.
O. Overnight hospital stays: One for pneumonia when I was 5 or 6. 

P. Pet peeves: When people ask me for advice and then don't do what I tell them to. Actually, people not doing what I tell them to, in general. I'm bossy.
Q. Quote from a movie:  " I had tempted fate, and fate had accepted." (Sarah, The End of the Affair.) Also: "I hate you, God. I hate you as though you existed!" (Maurice, also from The End of the Affair).
R. Right or left handed: A little of both, but I usually write with my right.
S. Siblings: 4 younger siblings. 2 brothers, two sisters.
T. Time you wake up: Eh, whenever. I seem to be on some sort of cycle. Trying to switch to a day schedule for my trip to Cape Breton.
U. Underwear: Typically, black "hipster" panties.
V. Vegetable you hate: All those weird textured legumes. Lima, wax, butter beans, etc. Blech.
W. What makes you run late: Bad hair days.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Both arms, full back, both legs, ankles...pretty much everything. Someday I'll start glowing.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Chicken tacos, great spaghetti, chicken enchiladas, Poppyseed chicken. Twice baked potatoes.Those are all the things I can make.
Z. Zoo animal: Giraffes are my favorite. I also love llamas, alpacas and okapis. All the things with long necks.

A Prickly Issue

I do not believe in body hair on women. It is a evolutionary throwback that we simply don't need anymore. Potential mates no longer smell each other to determine how fertile they might be. (Note: if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/significant other starts sniffing you, you have a problem.) Most of us don't romp naked through the fields, so we no longer need hair to protect our delicate areas. Razors are cheap. There are coupons for waxing all over the internet. (Don't try to do it yourself. Learn from my mistake.)  Nair is like $4. Get rid of the hair ladies. (Obviously eyebrows, and a reasonable amount of arm hair are fine. ARM not UNDER ARM, note the difference!)

Whenever I see a hair on the seat of the toilet in a women's restroom (which is what started this little rant), all that says to me is that someone wasn't taught proper grooming. And then I throw up a little. Shave your legs. Shave your pits. Get rid of the rest. You can have hair on your arms, if you insist, but onlyif it's blond. (ARM not UNDER ARM, note the difference!)

 Keep your eyebrows (obviously). And get rid of everything else. Being lovely and smooth is what separates us from icky boys. It's what makes us fragrant and delicate and clean. No more of this natural crap.  There's a reason that we don't live in the woods anymore.

A is only better than D if it's a grade.

Since May 25 I've lost 13 pounds. Yay.

Since May 25 I've gone from a DD bra to a C. Not so yay.

Since the beginning of time (ok, since the beginning of my adolescence), I've determined whether I look presentable based on whether my boobs were bigger than my belly.

I've now lost all of my boobs....and like 1.5 inches of belly.

Unacceptable.

Implanon: 2 Months In

This will probably be my last post about this (Aren't you glad?), mostly because I keep forgetting that it's there. Until the underwire in my bra catches on it and makes me scream like a maniac. Other than intermittent bra accidents, I'm still loving this little stick of birth control. As far as I can tell, I haven't had a single weird side effect (no weight gain, no breakouts, no break through bleeding), and I appear to be one of the lucky ones who doesn't have a period anymore pretty much from the word go.Excellent.

However, there is one little problem with not being greeted by Mother Nature once a month: I always freak out when the "due date" gets here, and She does not. Even though I KNOW She's on hiatus for the next 3 years. Even though I KNOW the chances of me actually being pregnant are slim, and closer to NONE. (Justin's crazy clinicals schedule hasn't exactly been kind to our bouncy cuddles schedule. Sorry Beest.)  Still, I freak out. So, I bought a pile of bulk, dr.'s office supply pregnancy tests (Read: no plastic stick, just a test strip. Also: 85 cents a piece. Beat that EPT.), and when I freak out once every 34 days, I do the Try Not to Pee on My Hands Dance. Other than that, everything is peachy.

Ok, now that everyone's been updated with the status of my birth control of choice, I can leave this topic alone. I really wanted to post a few updates about it though, because so many of the reviews online are BAD, while the birth control itself, for me at least, has been really GOOD. I realize that it happens because people are way more likely to post a review of something if they're pissed off about it, and less likely to post when an experience is good. (Because, like me, they forget about it unless there's some crazy drama.) The problem is, that makes it really hard to do research when someone's on the hunt for the thing that's right for them. So here I am, doing my part for Implanon research. -grin-