Happy Easter
It's freakin cold. I miss the days when Easter was warm, I got a new pink dress, and there was an egg hunt after lunch. However, church this morning was really cool.
Skinny Pants!
I'm wearing my skinny pants today! And they're not tight! And my belly looks flat! (With clothes on anyway, naked, it's a different story.) Yay!
The Payoff.
I am getting thin(ner). True, it's going very slowly, frustratingly slowly, but going nonetheless. Out of the last fourteen days, I've exercised for 11. I don't know if I've lost any actual pounds, that could be seen on the scale, but I do know that when I look in the mirror, I see a different body than was there two weeks ago. My butt is firmer and...perkier, Ditto for my breasts. My hips are smaller, and my belly, while not flat, is certainly less round. My arms don't have that funny rounded shape that made me look wide. I just look *smaller* in general. The biggest difference though, is that my double chin is practically non existant. Nearly gone. I have a jawline. I have cheekbones. Also, the part of my belly, just above my ribcage, below my breasts, is getting skinny - fast. I feel really good about myself for the first time in a very long time. Perhaps by the time I go back to Levelland at the end of May to visit, I'll be beautiful. Perhaps.
Lots Going On
Hm. So last night I went to bed half an hour later than I needed to to get up at 6 this morning and exercise. It wasn't anyone's fault, (except mine), it's just the way it happened, and if I was less in love with getting *exactly* nine hours of sleep, I would have just dragged myself out of bed and done it anyway, but I didn't. And y'know what? I'm cranky about it. Never in my life have I been upset about not working out. I looked forward to those days at school when it was to rainy or cold or something that I didn't have gym/athletics. I think that finally, after nearly twenty four years, my body has decided that it likes exercise. That it looks forward to it even. Today I denied it the pleasure, and now I am cranky. I'm going to do it tonight. And then at 6 am tomorrow. And then every day (almost) for the rest of forever. Ha! I'm going to be so hot. (read: skinnyish) *grin*
Today, in two and a half hours, Justin has a job interview. For a really good job at Best Buy (read: not a sales or floor position). I'm so proud of him, and so excited and so...hopeful. Our lives will be so much better if he gets it...well, maybe not better, we're pretty well off in the scheme of things, but there'll be much less stress in any case.
And more good news...my friend Patrick is engaged. And to an amazing girl (from what I can tell, and I'm a pretty good judge of character usually): Tiffany. I'm so happy that I make these tinny squeaking noises and smile really big. Patrick really deserves this kind of happiness.
Also, as predicted, my dad and Sussan have decided not to come this weekend. And...he (my dad) was kind of rude to me on the phone this morning too. Hmph. The excuse this time is that it's just a regular two day weekend, and they don't think that that's enough time. So he says that they'll come next weekend, which for them, is a four day weekend. However this weekend is my long weekend. *sigh* Doesn't matter. Chances are they won't be here next weekend either. I refuse to get my hopes up again.
Justin and I are going to have fun this weekend anyway. We're going to see Into the Woods at the Campus Theatre, and hang out at the Botanic Gardens in Fort Worth. We've decided that when we get married, we want to have the ceremony and reception there, so it'll be nice to see what's blooming this time of year. I suspect it's everything.
Today, in two and a half hours, Justin has a job interview. For a really good job at Best Buy (read: not a sales or floor position). I'm so proud of him, and so excited and so...hopeful. Our lives will be so much better if he gets it...well, maybe not better, we're pretty well off in the scheme of things, but there'll be much less stress in any case.
And more good news...my friend Patrick is engaged. And to an amazing girl (from what I can tell, and I'm a pretty good judge of character usually): Tiffany. I'm so happy that I make these tinny squeaking noises and smile really big. Patrick really deserves this kind of happiness.
Also, as predicted, my dad and Sussan have decided not to come this weekend. And...he (my dad) was kind of rude to me on the phone this morning too. Hmph. The excuse this time is that it's just a regular two day weekend, and they don't think that that's enough time. So he says that they'll come next weekend, which for them, is a four day weekend. However this weekend is my long weekend. *sigh* Doesn't matter. Chances are they won't be here next weekend either. I refuse to get my hopes up again.
Justin and I are going to have fun this weekend anyway. We're going to see Into the Woods at the Campus Theatre, and hang out at the Botanic Gardens in Fort Worth. We've decided that when we get married, we want to have the ceremony and reception there, so it'll be nice to see what's blooming this time of year. I suspect it's everything.
6 am:Not Only For the Old & Crazy
I was really tired yesterday and feeling pretty 'down' in general, so I went from work to the chiropractor, from the chiropractor home, and ate dinner. At about 7:15 I headed to bed without a shower or work out. To make up for the workout (and certainly the shower my short hair gets oily faster than long...) I dragged myself out of bed this morning at 6 (my alarm actually went off at five, but I laid around for awhile convincing myself to get up). I exercised and then showered and dressed, and to tell the truth, I feel better than I have in a long time. I think I'm going to start getting up every day (or at least work days) at 6 and exercising/showering before work. I'll certainly have to adjust my sleeping times though, I guess going to bed at 9 instead of 10, which means *gasp* I'll have to miss CSI and Law & Order. Maybe Justin will record them for me. So anyway, it's been a really good day so far, but I'm still glad that it's halfway over.
But First, A Haiku
I do not want to be here.
I want to be home
in bed or on the sofa.
So, it's not a good day. The weekend was good, I got a lot of sleep and a lot of exercise, and a lot of time to cuddle Justin and watch TV and do nothing. I slept enough last night, and there was no reason for me to wake up this morning and just *not* want to come to work.
But that's what happened.
I'm cranky, and feel sort of...heavy (in spite of the fact that the past week or so of exercise seems to be paying off). AND my supervisor decided today to bring me all the work that I've made mistakes on for the past three months. hurray.
I hate feeling like I'm not good at this job. I learn quickly, and that's what everyone here is saying: "you picked up on this so fast!" So why do I have a stack of trouble on my desk? It's quite frustrating. And it's also frustrating, that I feel like they don't like me. Perhaps that part is paranoia. Perhaps.
So I confirmed (again) with my dad and Sussan today that they are indeed coming this weekend. Why all the confirmation you ask? Well, because they tend to say that they're coming, and I clean the house furiously, make all sorts of plans and get excited, only to find that on the day of, they call and cancel. This happens on a fairly regular basis.
One good thing: I found these shoes that I really really want: http://www.mbt-shoe.com/
They have lots of benefits, as you'll see on their website, and an actual podiatrist (sp?) recommended them to the news for cellulite and back/joint problems. Hm. I have all those things! The only thing is, they're kind of expensive, $234. I'm going to ask for them for my birthday, which is coming up in May, and see what happens.
I want to be home
in bed or on the sofa.
So, it's not a good day. The weekend was good, I got a lot of sleep and a lot of exercise, and a lot of time to cuddle Justin and watch TV and do nothing. I slept enough last night, and there was no reason for me to wake up this morning and just *not* want to come to work.
But that's what happened.
I'm cranky, and feel sort of...heavy (in spite of the fact that the past week or so of exercise seems to be paying off). AND my supervisor decided today to bring me all the work that I've made mistakes on for the past three months. hurray.
I hate feeling like I'm not good at this job. I learn quickly, and that's what everyone here is saying: "you picked up on this so fast!" So why do I have a stack of trouble on my desk? It's quite frustrating. And it's also frustrating, that I feel like they don't like me. Perhaps that part is paranoia. Perhaps.
So I confirmed (again) with my dad and Sussan today that they are indeed coming this weekend. Why all the confirmation you ask? Well, because they tend to say that they're coming, and I clean the house furiously, make all sorts of plans and get excited, only to find that on the day of, they call and cancel. This happens on a fairly regular basis.
One good thing: I found these shoes that I really really want: http://www.mbt-shoe.com/
They have lots of benefits, as you'll see on their website, and an actual podiatrist (sp?) recommended them to the news for cellulite and back/joint problems. Hm. I have all those things! The only thing is, they're kind of expensive, $234. I'm going to ask for them for my birthday, which is coming up in May, and see what happens.
General Update
So, it's Friday, and it's been five days since I posted at the begginning of the week. I haven't really had any computer time. Normally I use the computer in the courtroom at work on my lunch to post, but I've been out of the building for lunch every day this week except Monday and yesterday. Yesterday, Justin brought me a chicken salad for lunch, and I tried to eat in here, but crazy people kept coming in and wanting to go to court. Ptth. They're supposed to wait in the hall like the criminals they are! *grin*
Anyway, I've exercised every day this week, except yesterday, because yesterday was my late night at work, and I'm writing down everything I eat. It doesn't mean that I'm eating any better, but at least I'm aware. Justin's going to start taking front and side pics of me in my panties and tank top once a week, on Mondays, so that I can see my progress in the weight loss arena.
Next weekend My dad, Sussan, Stacy and Steven are coming to visit, I think. That's the plan anyway. I hope that we end up going to the Ft. Worth Zoo that Saturday. We didn't get to see the giraffes last time, and I want to.
Anyway, I've exercised every day this week, except yesterday, because yesterday was my late night at work, and I'm writing down everything I eat. It doesn't mean that I'm eating any better, but at least I'm aware. Justin's going to start taking front and side pics of me in my panties and tank top once a week, on Mondays, so that I can see my progress in the weight loss arena.
Next weekend My dad, Sussan, Stacy and Steven are coming to visit, I think. That's the plan anyway. I hope that we end up going to the Ft. Worth Zoo that Saturday. We didn't get to see the giraffes last time, and I want to.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho
It's back to work I go.
Justin and I had a fantastic weekend together, after a blow up on Friday morning. For awhile, I was afraid all was lost, but it's looking pretty hunky dory now. I'm back to work today. I slept really well last night, and felt good when I woke up this morning, but suddenly I'm feeling really run down. My head feels kind of numb and tingly...actually, everything does. Weird.
I have a new obgyn. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I had an appointment last Tuesday, for general checkup and annual exam (read: pap smear. bleh), I also scheduled to have a blood test for my thyroid, which I thought had been acting up. (test results on Saturday: Negative) Anyway, my doctor is wonderful. She's funny and kind of young and not at all thin. I hate skinny doctors. AND she gave me a goodie bag! It's actually just my new birth control,(Seasonale, hurray, only 4 periods a year!) but it came in a little hot pink and black make-up case, with an "entertaining and educational video" and a sticker. I love it when I get stickers. NOW sent me one a week or so ago, and I was just *thrilled.* It's the little things y'know?
Justin and I had a fantastic weekend together, after a blow up on Friday morning. For awhile, I was afraid all was lost, but it's looking pretty hunky dory now. I'm back to work today. I slept really well last night, and felt good when I woke up this morning, but suddenly I'm feeling really run down. My head feels kind of numb and tingly...actually, everything does. Weird.
I have a new obgyn. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I had an appointment last Tuesday, for general checkup and annual exam (read: pap smear. bleh), I also scheduled to have a blood test for my thyroid, which I thought had been acting up. (test results on Saturday: Negative) Anyway, my doctor is wonderful. She's funny and kind of young and not at all thin. I hate skinny doctors. AND she gave me a goodie bag! It's actually just my new birth control,(Seasonale, hurray, only 4 periods a year!) but it came in a little hot pink and black make-up case, with an "entertaining and educational video" and a sticker. I love it when I get stickers. NOW sent me one a week or so ago, and I was just *thrilled.* It's the little things y'know?
Pics!
This is also the one that's on my profile, but I think it's the best one, so I'm adding a big one. Sue me.
One More
I like this one too, even though I think it makes my arms look a little...fat. Should've gone without the bra strap.
Another!
I think this is a really cute picture, and the blanket is very effective at hiding my *small* extra chin. :)
What Do Ya Know...
It worked. I managed to post one of the new pics Justin took of me to my profile without much drama at all. Hm. You'll all notice the short haircut, there've been a few requests for pics of it, and also the lack of nosering and tan. Hopefully in the next weeks, both nosering and tan will return. I'm going to try and post some more pics on this now...we'll see how it works.
Oh, and I got up at 8:30 this morning, ate breakfast, watched church on TV and exercised on my gazelle. Huzzah!
Oh, and I got up at 8:30 this morning, ate breakfast, watched church on TV and exercised on my gazelle. Huzzah!
New Pics
Justin took some new pictures of me last night, perhaps I'll post a couple of them here, if I decide I don't look too fat or puffy or oily or goofy.
His truck is officially in the shop today. A herd of boys came over yesterday afternoon/evening and tried to work on it,but they broke two tools trying to get the bolts off. Trouble. After a couple of hours they gave up and we went to eat barbeque. Then they all went upstairs to play video games the rest of the night. Ptth.
I did manage to get all of my laundry done and watch the Oscars yesterday. That's officially it. God I love weekends.
His truck is officially in the shop today. A herd of boys came over yesterday afternoon/evening and tried to work on it,but they broke two tools trying to get the bolts off. Trouble. After a couple of hours they gave up and we went to eat barbeque. Then they all went upstairs to play video games the rest of the night. Ptth.
I did manage to get all of my laundry done and watch the Oscars yesterday. That's officially it. God I love weekends.
Phantom
The Phantom of the Opera is a wonderful musical. It's an amazing show and one of my favorites. The new movie version, which came out this year is also very very good. But it is so freaking depressing. For those of you not familiar, here are some lyrics:
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again:
You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye
There's a new song written just for the movie version and performed in the movie credits by Minnie Driver (the rest of her singing in the movie, as the diva is dubbed). As if the show doesn't have enough sad sad music. This is the most depressing thing ever. (Even though it is really appropriate):
Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Ever dreamed out in the world
There were arms to hold you?
You've always known
Your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved
Alone.
It's enough to make you need a hug.
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again:
You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle
Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye
There's a new song written just for the movie version and performed in the movie credits by Minnie Driver (the rest of her singing in the movie, as the diva is dubbed). As if the show doesn't have enough sad sad music. This is the most depressing thing ever. (Even though it is really appropriate):
Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Ever dreamed out in the world
There were arms to hold you?
You've always known
Your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved
Alone.
It's enough to make you need a hug.
Exactly!
Remember the show "Boy Meets World" that came on ABC from 93-2000? I was wondering what happened to the girl that played Tapanga (Danielle Fishel), because she was such a cutie, and I ran across this quote:
LoL We could be the same person!
(She was actually born the day before me, same year, so maybe it's just a Taurus thing...)
New Blog
I have a new blog. It's basically a dream journal. I needed a place to write down all the strange things that happen in my head at night. Read it if you want to:
Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made Of
Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made Of
If It's Not One Thing...
It's another.
Thursday night the starter on Justin's truck went out. Luckily, it was parked in front of the apartment office when it went, so we didn't have far to walk to get home, but it still sucked. So, it's still there today, but I think tomorrow he has some friends coming to help him push it up the hill to here so he can fix it.
Today I'm cleaning, sort of. I get up and move some things around, and then sit again to watch Dr. 90210. I love to watch plastic surgery. It freaks Justin out, so he's upstairs now, presumably also cleaning. I hope he's making better progress than I am.
Thursday night the starter on Justin's truck went out. Luckily, it was parked in front of the apartment office when it went, so we didn't have far to walk to get home, but it still sucked. So, it's still there today, but I think tomorrow he has some friends coming to help him push it up the hill to here so he can fix it.
Today I'm cleaning, sort of. I get up and move some things around, and then sit again to watch Dr. 90210. I love to watch plastic surgery. It freaks Justin out, so he's upstairs now, presumably also cleaning. I hope he's making better progress than I am.
No Surprise Here.
Making Progress.
So, after twenty-five minutes of holding, someone at the IRS finally answered the phone. And told me what I already knew: that my refund had bounced back, and that they'd be sending me a paper check on Mar. 4. So, why did I call, you ask, well, because they sent me an email today that said I needed too. Oh well, at least now I have a definate approximate time. *grin* Not all is lost. Justin should be getting his refund on Friday, yay, just in time for the weekend. (Although, I think he's doing something responsible and not at all fun with his cash.)
True...Very True
How strange that so many people go through the same things. Just when you think you're alone...
Stolen from Annabel who stole it from Martha Martha:
Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.
~ HenriNouwen society
Stolen from Annabel who stole it from Martha Martha:
Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.
~ HenriNouwen society
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