Gotta Get Outta Here!

The Texas Board of "Education" has voted to remove Neil Armstrong, Caeser Chavez, Thurgood Marshall, Stephen F. Austin (?!), Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks and Franklin D. Roosevelt (among others) from history and social studies textbooks. They also plan to add references to Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh (among others) because "liberals outnumber references to people that identify themselves as conservative."

There are a lot of reasons why this is ridiculous, but don't they realize that it’s not surprising that a social studies text would tend to focus more on the people who push for social change? (Generally people classified as 'liberals.') You don’t tend to get into the history books by maintaining the status quo unless you fail spectacularly at it. (-cough-RickPerry-cough-)

Another proposed change in the social studies standards, known as the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills, includes referring to the United States as a republic instead of a democracy in order to insinuate that "republican" is better than "democratic." Brainwashing much?

Here are some more great accomplishments that my (and I use that term loosley) state has made:

Texas is ranked
*49th in teacher pay
*1st in the percentage of people over 25 without a high school diploma
*41st in high school graduation rate
*46th in SAT scores
*1st in percentage of uninsured children
*1st in percentage of population uninsured
*1st in percentage of non-elderly uninsured
*3rd in percentage of people living below the poverty level
*49th in average WIC benefit payments
*1st in teenage birth rate (With my very own Lubbock in the lead)
*50th in average credit scores for loan applicants
*1st in air pollution emissions
*1st in volume of volatile organic compounds released into the air
*1st in amount of toxic chemicals released into water
*1st in amount of recognized carcinogens released into air
*1st in amount of carbon dioxide emissions
*50th in homeowners’ insurance affordability
*50th in percentage of voting age population that votes
*1st in annual number of executions

This is a popular bumper sticker here:

Perhaps someone should market one that says "Living in Texas? Get out while you still can!"

Life List

I'm taking a cue from Maggie and putting together my life list. This isn't everything that I want to do, but it's a good start at getting it down on paper. I tried to only list things that I think I'm actually capable of accomplishing, eventually, and a few things that I already have. (It's encouraging if you can mark a few things off from the start.) Here goes:

Learn to speak French
Crochet an afghanVisit India
Live in a home I'm proud of 
Decorate said home perfectly
Learn to walk safely in heels
Assist in surgery


Develop a signature style
Go to a fancy spa and get the works
Visit the Winchester Mystery House
Get perfect porcelain veneers
Work on a political campaign
Find just the right perfume
Learn to like coffee
Live through a moment when real history is made
Take my nieces to Europe
See Willie Nelson in concert
Win a hand of Blackjack in Vegas
Learn to make activated charcoal soap
Live in a blue state
Attend Carnaval in Brazil
Bask in the sun on a beautiful beach
Have a drink named after me
Direct a musical
Own a professional grade camera
Learn to take really good pictures
Learn to make Nan's cherry cobbler
Have a llama and a donkey as pets
Grow a vegetable garden
Learn to make margaritas from scratch
Go on a real honeymoon
Throw a rockin' Halloween party
Personalize my own nail polish color
Go to Disneyland
Go to the Tony awards
Hit 50 thousand visitors on my blog
Sing karaoke
Ice skate in Rockefeller Center
Go one full year without falling down
Develop my digital photos
Own a mac, see what the fuss is about
Get a professional bikini wax 
Read all of Ovid's Metamorphoses
Own a hybrid (or fully electric) vehicle
Visit Monaco
Hold hands with Neil Patrick Harris 
Purchase designer sunglasses
Avoid losing designer sunglasses
Learn about my great-grandparents
Visit Salem at Halloween
Live in France for a year
Learn to make a really fancy dessert
Host a holiday dinner at my house

We Got New Glasses!

The Best Thing Out of England

If you aren't listening to Florence & The Machine, you should be.



The music makes me want to dance around in a really primal way, which may not be attractive, but -feels- amazing. Better than chocolate. Better than sex. Better than drugs. (Just guessing on that last one.)



Speaking of drugs, there's a PSA playing here that says "7 out of 10 high school students say they've been offered illegal drugs." How much of a loser was I in high school, that nobody offered me drugs? In fact, no one has -ever- offered me drugs. 7 out of 10? Clearly I hung out with the wrong crowd. (Or the right one...)

Nightmares Coming True!!

So, the first time I taught a class by myself, it was 3rd grade. Throughout the morning a little girl complained of an earache, so when the nurse finally arrived (they only work something like an hour a day at each school!) I sent her to be looked at. About 30 minutes later, the nurse came in and told me that she was sending the child home because there was a bug in her ear and she needed to see a doctor. A. Bug. In. Her. Ear!!!!! From that moment forward, this has been my very worst fear. It's the primary reason that I refuse to go camping.

Right now, we have these bugs in our house.


They're called cucumber beetles, and they're tiny. I'm not sure why they're in our house, since I'm not growing cucumbers, but whatever. It's not an infestation or anything, just a few that sneak in when we open the door at night. For some reason, they're really drawn to my bedroom, and I'll find one my bed occasionally. (You know, as I'm turning back the sheets.) I get rid of them and it's all fine. (Do you see how calm I am? Not having a nervous breakdown at all...) Except it's -not- fine, because if there's a bug on my pillow, chances are it's going to end up on me somewhere. Or worse, in my ear. Auggggh!

Then, quite suddenly, the bugs were gone. Every year, this area gets some sort of plague, beetles or crows or locusts, and they always disappear as quickly as they arrived. I thought that was the end of it. I stopped checking my bed. TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

Then it happened. I woke up a few days ago, unsure of what had startled me. And then I felt it. A tickle in my ear. I thought it was my hair (the new short layers are always tickling my face) so I moved to brush it away and there it was. A. BUG. IN. MY. EAR. Auggggggggghhhhhh!!!! I screamed and jumped around and got it out, but now I'm a total basket case at bedtime. I wake up a thousand times a night (day) to check my pillows and my ears and it's a total nightmare. FAAAAhh!!

I can't wait 'til winter.

In a completely unrelated note, Wonka Gummy Puckerooms are a very naughty candy:

Too Sick for a Real Post,

but Justin sent this to me, and I think it's funny.


Click on the picture to make it big enough to read.

So, It's Been Awhile

I know, it's been over three weeks since I posted. Sorry. There's not really that much to say. Work is busy. Justin got started to nursing school, which you can read about over on his blog. He'll be there 5 days a week, for basically 12 hours a day, so I'll see him probably only on Friday afternoons and Saturdays, which is kind of stressful. Since I started (and he stopped) working, he's been very good about keeping up the house: doing the dishes and vacuuming, etc. I guess those chores will fall back to me now, since his 5 days make my 3 days look like cake. Oh well, I actualy enjoy dishes as long as I've got my ipod, and the vacuum is broken anyway.

Yes, I'm aware that this is the most boring post ever, but I'm tired and feeling all edgy, so it's going to have to do. Something is better than nothing, right?

Nicolas

My cat was run over by a car. I've had him for 8 years, and so, am very sad. I love his little round face, and his cuddly nature and his super soft fur. I got him the first year that I felt like an actual grown up and will miss him so much.

Actinic Keratosis

I officially have insurance now, and therefore, can afford to have some things sliced off my body, like this suspicious mole:

No, that's not Actinic Keratosis, but this is:

So my question is, how do you let something that starts out as a suspicious mole grow into a HORN? Seriously, when she first noticed the spot, maybe she didn't think anything of it, but really, you'd think she'd have thought to do something about it when she noticed that not only was it not going away, it was turning into something out of Legend.

Please Welcome...

Erika Grace Burleson

July 8, 2009
9:28 am
Officially: 7lbs, even.
Really: 6lbs 15.8 ounces.
20.5 inches long.

Go on, I'll wait while you acknowledge how beautiful she is.

Done? Okay. I had the unique and remarkable honor of witnessing her birth, via cesarean section on Wednesday. It was the most amazing (and scary) thing I have ever seen, so amazing in fact, that I'm going to OR tech school so that I can see as many c-sections as possible. But this isn't about me.

My sister, D'Liesa, was amazing. Watching her get her epidural was one of the most agonizing things I have ever witnessed, (it wasn't as quick and easy as usual, I think) and the things that are involved in getting a baby out? Yeah, very effective birth control. D'Liesa was totally tough, and the payoff, obviously, was worth it.

We'll be calling her Gracie.

Teaser

I have an exciting story and big news to share here this week, but I'm waiting on some pictures. In the meantime, I'm interested in what you think about something:


These cheeseburger cupcakes are all the rage right now. I have friends making them, and am seeing them all over the internet. I'm a huge cupcake fan, and I think they're cute enough, but it kind of freaks me out when food tastes like something different from what it looks like. (I hate to take a drink of tea thinking that it's going to be soda, bleh!) So do you think they're cute (and would you actually eat them?) or just weird?

Sparkle

Last night we played with sparklers. So fun!

It started raining a few minutes after we went out, but not hard enough to put them out, so we stayed outside. You can see that Justin's shirt is all wet though.

We think this one looks kind of like a heart with an arrow through it.

Happy 4th

Work, Work, Work

So this week was my first actual 3 day, 36 hour week, and the first week that I've done an entire week of the job that I was hired to do. I totally love it. Yesterday the woman that's training me called in and I was on my own. I thought that would be fine until all hell broke loose about an hour into the shift. The patient required a whole lot of stuff that I'd never done before. After a small bout of panic, I got some help from down the hall and now I know how to do all that stuff, and I don't think there's anything that I really won't be able to handle anymore.

Next week I don't have to be at work until 8am on Monday. It's so weird, looking forward to getting to sleep until 7. Then I have two 12 hour days and one more 8 hour day. After that, I'll be on my real, oh thank god it's nighttime, schedule. So, that's the update. The thing is, yesterday was a long, stressful day. I took one 15 minute break in a 12 hour shift, but I didn't feel worn down by that. Sure, I was bone tired at the end of the day, but I left still feeling like I love my job. I don't know if I've ever felt like that about a job before, and it's really, really nice.

Happy Birthday Shannon!

Today is my friend Shannon's birthday! She's lucky enough to live in beautiful California so there are a bevy of options for her birthday celebration.

She's unlucky enough to be celebrating he birthday while her in-laws are in town, which might cancel out much of the potential fun. I did hear a rumor that she's got red velvet cupcakes, so all is not lost.


Shannon is the smartest person I know. She went to Harvard, is now at Berkeley and has a pile of languages. She also has fabulous taste in shoes (and manages to walk around in them gracefully even though they eat her feet). AND she's not afraid to wear hats, which I love.
See that girls? Hats are versatile and flattering. Go buy some!

Shannon knows me as well or better as anyone else in the world. Shannon works all the time and is really good at what she does. (Even though about half the time she doesn't believe it), but she still manages to be there for me and totally supportive when I need her. She also never lets me be whiny or feel sorry for myself for too long. The girl is full of solutions. She started my addiction to Buffy, sent me a pile of treats that I couldn't get at the grocery store here, and decorated a room in her house for me to stay in when I visit. (Other people get to stay there too, but we all know it's my room.)

I love you Shannon, and I hope you're having a good time today, you totally deserve it. Eat a cupcake for me! (Cupcakes eaten on my behalf have no calories!)

Vamp

This is our niece, Nikaia:


She is 3, and when she grows up, she would like to be a vampire. As you can see, she already has the cape. It's possible that she'll be receiving a Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD for Christmas.

I like kids best when they're weird.

The First Week

I started my new job on Monday, sort of. Monday and Tuesday were hospital orientation which included all the things you'd expect: information about insurance and retirement and parking. Things that don't seem like they should stretch out over 16 hours, but did. We learned a lot about hospital history, including the reason that we have French Jesus as our mascot because the nuns that started the hospital in 1912 (ish) were from France. Here's a picture of French Jesus:
who looks different than English Jesus:

I prefer French Jesus's brooding eyes. Anyway, it's a pretty safe bet to say that Actual Jesus didn't look anything like these guys, but whatever.

On Wednesday I got to start training for my actual job, as opposed to learning about human resources. I'm currently working 6am to 6pm, so that I can train with the daytime secretary, but eventually, I'll be on 6pm to 6am, which sounds like a much shorter amount of time, (but isn't) and means I won't have to wake up at 4am (a definite bonus). In any case, I -love- the actual work part of the job. I like talking to the doctor's offices on the phone and ordering carts and telling patients to pee in a cup. I love that we have a bank tube thing that sends stuff all over the hospital. I love that we have things that work like the badges on Star Trek that let us track down and talk to people all over the place who are also wearing one. (What do they call those things Patrick?) I love that I get to put together charts and see people all excited coming in for a c-section because they know that in about 20 minutes they will have an actual baby in their arms.

I do not love that we play Brahm's Lullabye after every baby is born (trust me, it gets old fast), but I know that the people waiting in the hallway for that baby really like it, and I like that they like it.

Yesterday I had to do a CPR class instead of my real job, which was less fun, but meant I got to sleep until 7am. (Who'd have thought that would be something to look forward to?) After that was over I did my actual job for a little while and then went to the hospital blood drive where they proceeded to suck me dry (2 units of red cells) and then fill me back up with plasma and saline solution. For the record, that feels really weird and takes a super long time. If you haven't done this kind of blood donation before, the stuff they put back into you is at room temperature, which is much colder than body temperature so you get all shaky and weird feeling. The vampires (phlebotomists) offer you blankets, but that doesn't really help since the cold is on the inside. It's freaky, but in a really interesting way. I'll definitely do it again. (And have, in fact, already scheduled my next appointment.) They gave me a t-shirt and a delicious selection of snacks, and it was cool to get paid for lying in a reclining chair and watching Confessions of a Shopaholic.

And now it's the weekend. Yay!

Awesomeness.

Gainfully Employed!

I haven't posted about this yet, for fear of jinxing it, but yesterday I officially got a job! With a badge and everything! I'll be working as the unit secretary for labor and delivery at Covenant Women's and Children's Hospital.

This is not my actual badge. I have to go back on Monday for a new one because it's supposed to have a pink background and a hologram, since I'm in L&D. Hopefully they'll let me take a new picture. I didn't expect to have it taken yesterday and I wore my hair back. Oh, well.

Anyway, I start orientation on Monday and then 4 weeks of various classes and training. After that, I'll be on 12 hour nights, but only 3 days a week. Yay for full time employment in which I always have 4 day weekends!

As a reward for entering the workforce, Justin took me to dinner and bought me this stuffed giraffe, which I've been coveting for weeks.


There is some concern that it might be a cow...

But I don't think so. The neck seems too long for a cow, right? Besides, the other animals in this series are an elephant and a lion. Who'd say "Okay I've got an elephant, a lion....what other animal can we make? I know, a cow!" Clearly Greta is a giraffe.

In spite of my good job, I will still be going back to school in the fall. All my classes the first semester are online, and with a 3 day workweek, I don't think there will be any problems. I feel like things are finally falling into place, and that its possible to take a deep breath for the first time in months. Things are looking up!

UPDATE: Toys 'R' Us says that Greta is a giraffe. CLICK.

Storms!

We've had some pretty big storms in the past week or so, but the one we had last night was by far the worst. The electricity was out for about two hours, returned for about an hour and then out again for the rest of the night, until early this morning. I'm not complaining. I -love- storms, the louder the better, and I still get that tingle of excitement when the lights go out that I used to get as a child. If this keeps happening though, I'll have to invest in a book light, because holding a giant Maglite under my chin for hours at a time isn't really as convenient as it sounds.

We don't have any trees in our yard, so I was surprised to walk onto the front porch this morning (fine, afternoon) and be greeted with this:

(Please excuse the sorry state of our lawn. We haven't had enough rain yet this year for it to be pretty and green.)

The branches are all over the lawn and the driveway. I think most of them probably came from my parents' trees, next door, but that's still a pretty long way to blow, since our yard is big. While I was wandering around surveying the destruction, I was delighted to see that this little beauty survived the night:

It was there yesterday, and I intended to take a picture of it then and forgot. When the storm came last night, I was disappointed to have missed my chance. I know they're just weeds, but I seriously love dandelions. I love the tiny yellow flowers and then when they seed, they're so delicate and beautiful. I wouldn't mind an entire yard full of them. The fact that this one survived the storm makes me feel hopeful that perhaps I'll be able to survive the drama that's going on in our world right now.

And yes, I know how cheesey that is, but it's my blog. Get over it.