| How to make a Susan |
| Ingredients: 5 parts competetiveness 5 parts silliness 3 parts beauty |
| Method: Layer ingredients in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of sadness and enjoy! |
More True than Not
AhhChoo
Does anyone else feel like their arms are coming unglued when they sneeze? It's a wildly uncomfortable feeling, and usually, shortly afterwards, I have to lie down from the pain and exhaustion of that sneeze. It's not every sneeze, just the really big ones.
I cooked all weekend. I tried several times to make monster cookies but every time they ran all over the cookie sheet and into the oven and set the fire alarm off...and then they wouldn't come off the pan. They taste really good...but they aren't the way they are supposed to be. My aunt is going to try to make some tomorrow from the same recipe and see if she has the same problem. I also made star shaped tea-cakes, and salmon patties. I have done dishes 6 times. This may very well be a personal record.
Justin and I are now the proud owners of a table and four chairs. We don't really know where to put them as we don't have a dining room, for now the table and two chairs are in the kitchen and the other two chairs are in the living room. I like them though. They are purple.
We also got a full length mirror. I'm going to have to move it as I'm terrified of mirrors when I sleep. Perhaps this is somehow related to the sneezing...
I cooked all weekend. I tried several times to make monster cookies but every time they ran all over the cookie sheet and into the oven and set the fire alarm off...and then they wouldn't come off the pan. They taste really good...but they aren't the way they are supposed to be. My aunt is going to try to make some tomorrow from the same recipe and see if she has the same problem. I also made star shaped tea-cakes, and salmon patties. I have done dishes 6 times. This may very well be a personal record.
Justin and I are now the proud owners of a table and four chairs. We don't really know where to put them as we don't have a dining room, for now the table and two chairs are in the kitchen and the other two chairs are in the living room. I like them though. They are purple.
We also got a full length mirror. I'm going to have to move it as I'm terrified of mirrors when I sleep. Perhaps this is somehow related to the sneezing...
Tasty!
I've decided to fill my time (and my belly) with baking to keep myself entertained, at least through the holiday season. I'm also going to do gift baskets for my family for Christmas filled with, among other things, baked goods. So, anybody that has a good cookie, candy, bread or general treat recipe I would appreciate it if you would send it to me. Anything that can be cut into pieces (or is made in pieces like cookies) would be great. If you email me a recipe and your mailing address, I will send you some treats sometime between now and Christmas...P.S. Jonathan, I can't read your blog!! How do I become an "invited reader?"
Crafty.
Justin says I have to find a hobby. Something I like to do. Any suggestions? I can't crochet, as I proved last year, everything just is a circle, and I don't really want to learn how to knit because yarn apparently has it out for me. I used to like to shop, but a I no longer have that kind of disposable income, it can't really be my hobby. As it is now, when I fill out one of those "what do you like to do" profiles for MySpace or whatever I put that I like to read, but I'm doing that for 8 hours a night at work. I can't take it anymore. Anyway I have no idea, so suggestions are appreciated.
P.S. I don't want anything that will leave me with a bunch of extra stuff so nobody say "oh I know, you can make [potholders, birdhouses, decopage, friendship bracelets...insert craft of choice here]
Ew Fashion.
I've been watching the Style Network for over an hour because it's too cold to take my hands out of my shirt and change the channel. This girl just bought enough clothes so that she could have eight different outfits for the weekend. How stupid. I've been wearing basically the same velour pants/hoodie combination (with different tank tops) for 3 days...I'm going to have to rethink it though since Justin said something like "mmm look at that big velvet bottom." When he saw the apalled look on my face he assured me that he meant that said bottom was sexy... so then I had to tell him that the words "big" and "sexy" do not go together unless you're talking about lips, boobs or eyes.
I may be applying for a new job. There is an opening for unit secretary in the birthing center where my aunt works. It would be Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays from 6pm to 6am. This sounds amazing to me. It would be great to be off for 4 days a week....
Now StyleTV is talking about the importance of eyeliner...dear god.
I may be applying for a new job. There is an opening for unit secretary in the birthing center where my aunt works. It would be Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays from 6pm to 6am. This sounds amazing to me. It would be great to be off for 4 days a week....
Now StyleTV is talking about the importance of eyeliner...dear god.
Where My Mind Wanders
I've been having some trouble sleeping... well, actually I was having some trouble sleeping, but I've started taking a sleeping pill before bed on work days...However, yesterday was not a work day so I went to bed without it. The problem is that my mind just races. It doesn't think of anything real, like bills or work or any of the important stuff usually...just random crap. Sometimes it doesn't linger on a single thought long enough for me to even fully realize what it is before moving on, and I don't usually remember what those passing ideas were...but here are the "big ones" I remember from the past week or so...
The first thing, and the one that for some reason got me worked into a tizzy that particular night was the idea that my cat, Nic, was desperate to be an actor. {I told you these weren't normal thoughts.} It seemed very important that I find an agent for him and look for work in commercials or whatever cat actors do. Very stressful in a very weird way. Anyway, just in case this was Nic trying to channel his deepest desire, I'm posting his "headshot" here, just in case any animal agents are looking.
Last night Las Vegas was in my head. I decided that they should change their name...The thought pattern went something like this:
Los Angeles means "the angels." This is a fitting name for this city because it's beautiful, warm, and all the people look heavenly, {please excuse that pun} thanks to great plastic surgeons, anorexia and the zone diet. If you took away all the sin, Los Angeles would definatley look like the sort of place where angels vacation.
Along those same lines, Las Vegas means "the fertile valley." This is a very poor name for the city because well, it's in the middle of a desert. The thought was that if Los Angeles is the city of "angels", then Las Vegas should be called "Los Menos Dios" : "the lesser gods", which would translate to "demons." It's sin city after all right? So then we could have "the city of angels" and "the city of demons."
I do realize that this might cut down on tourism from the church ladies going to see Blue Man Group and Celine Dion, so it might not be a brilliant marketing strategy, but at least it would make more sense.
Yeah...it makes even less sense now than it did as I was falling asleep. Oh well. Hope it was entertaining at least.
The first thing, and the one that for some reason got me worked into a tizzy that particular night was the idea that my cat, Nic, was desperate to be an actor. {I told you these weren't normal thoughts.} It seemed very important that I find an agent for him and look for work in commercials or whatever cat actors do. Very stressful in a very weird way. Anyway, just in case this was Nic trying to channel his deepest desire, I'm posting his "headshot" here, just in case any animal agents are looking.
Last night Las Vegas was in my head. I decided that they should change their name...The thought pattern went something like this:Los Angeles means "the angels." This is a fitting name for this city because it's beautiful, warm, and all the people look heavenly, {please excuse that pun} thanks to great plastic surgeons, anorexia and the zone diet. If you took away all the sin, Los Angeles would definatley look like the sort of place where angels vacation.
Along those same lines, Las Vegas means "the fertile valley." This is a very poor name for the city because well, it's in the middle of a desert. The thought was that if Los Angeles is the city of "angels", then Las Vegas should be called "Los Menos Dios" : "the lesser gods", which would translate to "demons." It's sin city after all right? So then we could have "the city of angels" and "the city of demons."
I do realize that this might cut down on tourism from the church ladies going to see Blue Man Group and Celine Dion, so it might not be a brilliant marketing strategy, but at least it would make more sense.
Yeah...it makes even less sense now than it did as I was falling asleep. Oh well. Hope it was entertaining at least.
The Lighter Side
Ok, this made me laugh, so to make up for my depressing previous post:I think it's really funny when Maybe tries to catch bugs on the other side of the glass door, because she bonks her nose and then acts offended.
Damn Damn Damn.
So, after a week without our regularly scheduled programming, the DishNetwork guy came yesterday and fixed our TV...and today when I got home from work it had stopped working again. Lovely. Also, the b**** at the water department told me that the adjustment on our bill from when we had the leak, (which they have delayed making for a month) is only $43, in spite of the fact that our regular water bill would probably have only been $40. So now we have to pay a $100 water bill today. *sigh* I just cried and cried for an hour, because there's so much more that we need to do with that money, but at least it's less than it could be. Finally I just decided to suck it up...but now I have to tell Justin when he gets home from school. He's going to be pissed...about both the TV and the water, and he's been very sensitive for the past few days. This is not going to be fun.
In other news, my dad thinks our drug dealer neighbors are stealing water from us. He knows that their water has been disconnected, (the fire station turns into the water department after hours) and he knows that they have already been charged with theft of public service for stealing water from someone else last month. (I don't know where he came by that information, but I guess it's public record. I don't even know their names) I dont know either way, but he thinks they're coming over at night while we work or during the day while we sleep and taking water from the outside faucets. I have no idea whether this is true or not because with the water bill being unadjusted I can't tell what it "really" is. It wouldn't surprise me though. I'm pretty sure that they're stealing electricity though. Our bill is more than it seems like it should be with only one window unit air conditioner and usually only one small lamp and the TV on consistently during the hours that we are awake. My estimate is that it should be around $75, but it is consistently over $150. Oh well...Can't think about it now. I'm already too stressed out.
Now for the fun news...assuming that we can afford it, (after the monster water bill) we are going to go to the corn maze tomorrow. He is very very excited about it...like a little kid going trick-o-treating or something. I think it will be way fun too, {must remember to take allergy pills}. I just love Halloween and fall things. I'm hoping to take Hunter and Hannah to a pumpkin patch and take some pictures in the next week or two. We'll see if I can round up the energy to cope with the toddlers. Oh... I think Justin's home...more as and when.
In other news, my dad thinks our drug dealer neighbors are stealing water from us. He knows that their water has been disconnected, (the fire station turns into the water department after hours) and he knows that they have already been charged with theft of public service for stealing water from someone else last month. (I don't know where he came by that information, but I guess it's public record. I don't even know their names) I dont know either way, but he thinks they're coming over at night while we work or during the day while we sleep and taking water from the outside faucets. I have no idea whether this is true or not because with the water bill being unadjusted I can't tell what it "really" is. It wouldn't surprise me though. I'm pretty sure that they're stealing electricity though. Our bill is more than it seems like it should be with only one window unit air conditioner and usually only one small lamp and the TV on consistently during the hours that we are awake. My estimate is that it should be around $75, but it is consistently over $150. Oh well...Can't think about it now. I'm already too stressed out.
Now for the fun news...assuming that we can afford it, (after the monster water bill) we are going to go to the corn maze tomorrow. He is very very excited about it...like a little kid going trick-o-treating or something. I think it will be way fun too, {must remember to take allergy pills}. I just love Halloween and fall things. I'm hoping to take Hunter and Hannah to a pumpkin patch and take some pictures in the next week or two. We'll see if I can round up the energy to cope with the toddlers. Oh... I think Justin's home...more as and when.
Domestic Violence
It is Domestic Violence Awareness month. My dad's extra job is working at a funeral home, and part of that involves going all over the place to pick up bodies. Last week he went to get a man who had chased his wife to the Dallas area, then killed her and himself because she left him. I don't know what can be done in an official context to stop this sort of thing...but something should be.
www.ncadv.org
www.ncadv.org7 am Griping.
Can someone tell me why UPS insists on dropping my packages off at the post office instead of my house? It makes it take an extra day for them to get here and that is really dang frustrating. I want my new jeans!!
In other postal complaints, I was walking Maybe yesterday at about the time that the mailman came by. Maybe and I were standing on the porch waiting (Please note, she was on a leash, and could not get off the porch, also note that she is a 15 inch beagle who weighs less than 20 pounds, it's relevant, I promise). I watched him go to all the other houses on the block, and then turn and walk back to his truck. So I said "Hello? Do we not have any mail??" and he said "Yes you do, but I'm not bringing it with that dog up there." What the hell is that all about?? So I shoved Maybe into the house and said "So do you want to bring it now?" (all meanly, it was fun). And he did, but acted like it was a huge inconvenience.
Hello Mr. Mailman, its YOUR JOB to deliver the mail. It's not like my dog is big and scary...or even like she was off the leash and could possibly attack. Whatever. We've only been getting our mail every other day for the past couple of weeks anyway, and it's really starting to make me mad, because I know that the postman is just too dang lazy to bring it up here. AND almost every day we get mail for the people one block over. I wonder how much of our mail they are getting?? So anyway, we filed a complaint. If I don't have my jeans today by noon, someone's head's gonna roll.
I also discovered that the man I married is lazy beyond belief. I went to wash the dishes when we got home from work yesterday morning, and before I could start I had to take tons of trash off the counter from where he left it when he made his... I guess, dinner the night before. When I confronted him about it he said: "I don't like to throw stuff away because I have to open the trash can." Is this just a guy thing?? He made up for it by letting me cut out his incredibly painful ingrown toenail last night. Anyone who knows me, knows that I thrive on being able to pick at stuff like that. It's been suggested that I should go to dental hygenist school...perhaps, but I'm very offended by [really] bad teeth, and Ashlie told some horror stories.
Nothing's changing much around here...It's our weekend now and I hope we can have dinner at my parents house at least once because we don't have anything good to eat and I'm starving.
Ok well..sorry for the boring update, I guess thats....OH MY GOD, I just discovered the empty dish where Justin ate all the rest of the mango dessert he made last night!! I only got one little bit, and it was the last good thing we had!! ugh.
In other postal complaints, I was walking Maybe yesterday at about the time that the mailman came by. Maybe and I were standing on the porch waiting (Please note, she was on a leash, and could not get off the porch, also note that she is a 15 inch beagle who weighs less than 20 pounds, it's relevant, I promise). I watched him go to all the other houses on the block, and then turn and walk back to his truck. So I said "Hello? Do we not have any mail??" and he said "Yes you do, but I'm not bringing it with that dog up there." What the hell is that all about?? So I shoved Maybe into the house and said "So do you want to bring it now?" (all meanly, it was fun). And he did, but acted like it was a huge inconvenience.
Hello Mr. Mailman, its YOUR JOB to deliver the mail. It's not like my dog is big and scary...or even like she was off the leash and could possibly attack. Whatever. We've only been getting our mail every other day for the past couple of weeks anyway, and it's really starting to make me mad, because I know that the postman is just too dang lazy to bring it up here. AND almost every day we get mail for the people one block over. I wonder how much of our mail they are getting?? So anyway, we filed a complaint. If I don't have my jeans today by noon, someone's head's gonna roll.
I also discovered that the man I married is lazy beyond belief. I went to wash the dishes when we got home from work yesterday morning, and before I could start I had to take tons of trash off the counter from where he left it when he made his... I guess, dinner the night before. When I confronted him about it he said: "I don't like to throw stuff away because I have to open the trash can." Is this just a guy thing?? He made up for it by letting me cut out his incredibly painful ingrown toenail last night. Anyone who knows me, knows that I thrive on being able to pick at stuff like that. It's been suggested that I should go to dental hygenist school...perhaps, but I'm very offended by [really] bad teeth, and Ashlie told some horror stories.
Nothing's changing much around here...It's our weekend now and I hope we can have dinner at my parents house at least once because we don't have anything good to eat and I'm starving.
Ok well..sorry for the boring update, I guess thats....OH MY GOD, I just discovered the empty dish where Justin ate all the rest of the mango dessert he made last night!! I only got one little bit, and it was the last good thing we had!! ugh.
Clean Teeth and a Baby
Justin and I took a quick trip to Amarillo over the weekend. His sister is in Dental Hygenist school and she wanted to clean our teeth (for free!) and she made me a whitening tray, which would have cost $500 at the regular dentist...but was free from her. This is a great gift, since I spend a lot of time obsessing over the whitness of my teeth. We also had not seen baby Nikaia yet so we had to do that...AND I wanted to run by the flea market to get some new fake hair, since I'm a lazy hair-do-er but the place with the hair was closed. Anyway, here are the pics from our trip:
Boring Update.
Well I fell off the no caffiene wagon yesterday and had a diet coke (with refill!!) at dinner yesterday evening. We were at one of those restaurants with few drink options so there ya go. I'm going to try to climb back on again today.
Yesterday Justin and I left the house at 6:15 am and headed to Muleshoe to judge at a speech tournament. We had a really good time. Because we never get out of the house anymore, going to stuff like that is sort of like a date for us...so it was fun. My back is killing me today though from sitting in those awful highschool desks. How on earth did I ever do that for 8 hours a day?? I must be getting old.
We had an extra day off, so we didn't have to go in last night which was nice, but now I'm dreading going to work tonight. I really need to get a new book...
Also, anyone who likes historical fiction should check out Jester by James Patterson/Andrew Gross. I just finished it and it's quite good.
Yesterday Justin and I left the house at 6:15 am and headed to Muleshoe to judge at a speech tournament. We had a really good time. Because we never get out of the house anymore, going to stuff like that is sort of like a date for us...so it was fun. My back is killing me today though from sitting in those awful highschool desks. How on earth did I ever do that for 8 hours a day?? I must be getting old.
We had an extra day off, so we didn't have to go in last night which was nice, but now I'm dreading going to work tonight. I really need to get a new book...
Also, anyone who likes historical fiction should check out Jester by James Patterson/Andrew Gross. I just finished it and it's quite good.
Addiction
I generally do not think of myself as someone who has an addictive personality. I've never really smoked, never done enough drugs to mention, and one martini knocks me flat... Because of these things I've never been able to muster up much empathy for those who are trying to stop smoking, drinking, drugging or what-have-you. Until I have unearthed my own addiction: caffiene.
It sneaks up on you really. I'm not a coffee drinker and haven't ever said the words "wait until after I get my caffiene," but the addiction is there people! And it's freakin' hard to give up. I've tried to stop drinking anything but water and other clear or naturally occuring liquids only, since my ugly kidney infection from a few weeks ago. But it constantly calls to me "go find a diet pepsi..it won't hurt...only one...if you don't we'll make you a huge angerball with a raging headache." So far I've survived about a week and a half. And I now have more understanding of what Justin is going through. (He stopped smoking, practically cold turkey in February, I'm very proud.)
The thing is though, I think it's easier to stop smoking. They (whoever those experts are) say that caffine is more addictive than heroin or something, and people just push it all the time! At restaurants, it's practically impossible to get anything to drink that's non-caffinated and diet. I know they make these beverages, and that they are available in stores...but I don't know why restaurants never have them. (Yes, I know that water is always an option, but it's almost always tap water, which is truly disgusting and way more likely to give me some sort of disease.)
So here I am, chuging bottled water, and green tea (yes, I know green tea has caffiene, but it's a different kind or something) and wishing that I had a diet pepsi. I think my dad is taking us to dinner tonight. I think it will be to Savannah's which has great Mexican food, but only tap water or soda to drink. Perhaps we'll make it BYOB.
To Come In From The Rain
Our dog does not enjoy the rain. She gets very confused when she steps off the porch and her feet get wet, and when she realizes that it's hitting her head it's a total breakdown. Thunder is worse. Like me, she is jumpy about loud noises. This is cute and all until you really need her to do her dog thing...you know...that one. I know she needed to go because she's been crated for the last 9 hours that we've been at work...for your viewing pleasure, a slide show about not being smart enough to come in from the rain. (me not her).
The Fruits Of No Labor
We have a pomegranite bush, because I don't touch it with my plant assassin fingers, it grows fruit. I took a picture:
Ta dah
In an effort to keep all of our pictures from looking exactly the same, we changed the angle from which Justin snaps the picture...I call this, "the view from below." Not great, but it's a little different from the norm anyway...
Justin says "this is how our child will see us someday..." God I hope not.
Justin says "this is how our child will see us someday..." God I hope not.{Editor's Note: Please be aware that at this time I am not, nor do I have any plans to become pregnant, so everybody just keep your panties on.}
Family Ties....or Shackels?
This is so frustrating to me...So, Justin is working his butt off in school, he's studying really hard and learning really quickly and I'm really super proud of him. Today he spoke with his mom and was telling her about it and she was just like "well you better not fail." What the hell?! I mean first of all it's not any of her business to begin with. It's not like she's paying for any of it. The only reason that he had to wait until now to really get involved in school is because they wouldn't help him financially, even to the point of giving him their tax information so that he could apply for grants etc. He wasn't even asking for money for school, just basic information so he could get some help from the government and besides that, would it kill her to say that she's proud of him?! What kind of parent watches her kid start college and doesn't even have the decency to show some kind of support?
Don't get me wrong, my parents aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I never had to wonder if they were proud of me. I never had to wonder if they would help or support me when I needed it, and I sure know that they love me.
I can let the shit that they pulled with the wedding pass, but I don't know about this. Justin should not feel like I'm the only one in his life that loves him. Someone besides me should tell him that they're proud. Everytime he calls his parents they say something that's hurtful to him...or don't say something that would make him feel good. It's like they're making a genuine effort to make sure that he knows how disappointed they are in him...and I just don't understand it. I'm completely at a loss for what to do. My only instinct now is to scream and pull out my hair. *sigh*
Don't get me wrong, my parents aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I never had to wonder if they were proud of me. I never had to wonder if they would help or support me when I needed it, and I sure know that they love me.
I can let the shit that they pulled with the wedding pass, but I don't know about this. Justin should not feel like I'm the only one in his life that loves him. Someone besides me should tell him that they're proud. Everytime he calls his parents they say something that's hurtful to him...or don't say something that would make him feel good. It's like they're making a genuine effort to make sure that he knows how disappointed they are in him...and I just don't understand it. I'm completely at a loss for what to do. My only instinct now is to scream and pull out my hair. *sigh*
If It's Not One Thing...
It's sure to be something else equally upsetting. I haven't posted in awhile because everytime I feel like I have something of interest to report, it's something bad. This makes for a really whiny, stinky blog. However, this is a matter of some importance, and perhaps I can make it mildly entertaining.
We have a massive water leak under our house. I think it must have started off small, but our water bill has been steadily increasing by about $40 a month, every month for about 6 months. Looking at the bill we received yesterday, we owe the City of Levelland $140 for water and our monthly usage is 38 thousand gallons. This is a lot of water people. Apparently there's a small resort town under our home...I'm sure it's teeming with lots of lovely guests like mold, algae and bacteria. Buy your tickets early, the busy season is just beginning...
We also seem to be having some electrical problems...This house is basically wired to ignite at any moment, and we've lived quite happily with this eventuality for some time now...It's sort of like knowing that you're going to die...it's a fact, but you try not to think about it too often. Until today. It's been raining for the better part of 36 hours, and in the middle of our much needed beauty rest the electricity went out. We discovered this by waking up to a very quiet, hot house. We called the electric company and the guy came out and told us that we do in fact have power on his end...but somewhere in the house there is a short, and perhaps in the next week or so we should have an electrician come out, good luck until then. Very helpful.
Luckily, my dad knows most of the people in the civillized world, and most of them owe him a favor of some sort, so we did, in fact find an electrician who could come out on a holiday weekend in the pouring rain. I'm not sure what he did, as I was hiding out at my aunts house, but 3 hours after the emergent crisis, we have lights and fans and a working refridgerator. The short seems to be in the air conditioning which is lucky only in that it's supposed to be unseasonably cool for the next week or so. Hurray for divine intervention!
I also have a very painful kidney infection...perhaps some kidney stones. We were out of bottled water for the better part of a week, and apparently it is unwise to subsist on Diet Pepsi. I'm now taking some antibiotics and something called Azo Standard to numb my urinary tract, this wonder drug has the added bonus of turning my bodily fluids a particularly enchanting shade of neon orange.
If you need me I'll be in the corner contemplating Murphy's Law.
We have a massive water leak under our house. I think it must have started off small, but our water bill has been steadily increasing by about $40 a month, every month for about 6 months. Looking at the bill we received yesterday, we owe the City of Levelland $140 for water and our monthly usage is 38 thousand gallons. This is a lot of water people. Apparently there's a small resort town under our home...I'm sure it's teeming with lots of lovely guests like mold, algae and bacteria. Buy your tickets early, the busy season is just beginning...
We also seem to be having some electrical problems...This house is basically wired to ignite at any moment, and we've lived quite happily with this eventuality for some time now...It's sort of like knowing that you're going to die...it's a fact, but you try not to think about it too often. Until today. It's been raining for the better part of 36 hours, and in the middle of our much needed beauty rest the electricity went out. We discovered this by waking up to a very quiet, hot house. We called the electric company and the guy came out and told us that we do in fact have power on his end...but somewhere in the house there is a short, and perhaps in the next week or so we should have an electrician come out, good luck until then. Very helpful.
Luckily, my dad knows most of the people in the civillized world, and most of them owe him a favor of some sort, so we did, in fact find an electrician who could come out on a holiday weekend in the pouring rain. I'm not sure what he did, as I was hiding out at my aunts house, but 3 hours after the emergent crisis, we have lights and fans and a working refridgerator. The short seems to be in the air conditioning which is lucky only in that it's supposed to be unseasonably cool for the next week or so. Hurray for divine intervention!
I also have a very painful kidney infection...perhaps some kidney stones. We were out of bottled water for the better part of a week, and apparently it is unwise to subsist on Diet Pepsi. I'm now taking some antibiotics and something called Azo Standard to numb my urinary tract, this wonder drug has the added bonus of turning my bodily fluids a particularly enchanting shade of neon orange.
If you need me I'll be in the corner contemplating Murphy's Law.
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