Happy Ishtar!

Please note that this is not intended to be offensive in any way. It is a joke. Tongue in cheek. A play on words. Stop taking yourselves so seriously. Nobody needs to freak out. Thank you.

Bad Day. Shitty Insurance.

I found out today that my insurance won't cover the bariatric surgery that I want/need to have for 15 more months. And even at that point, they won't cover it with the doctor that I'd prefer. They insist on using the whack-a-doo who refuses to do anything laparascopically. The guy who hangs out at bars with 19 year old girls. I feel like I can't do anything else with my life until after this happens. I want more schooling, but I'm not going back as the old, fat girl. I can handle one, I can't handle both. I'll be 30 in 18 days. I wanted my 30's to be fabulous, and, as it turns out, they're just going to be crappy.

It would also be nice if every time I was emotional about something, my husband didn't ask me if I was taking my medication properly. I'm allowed to be pissed about this, okay? I'm allowed to be pissed that the hospital I work for would be happy to finance (the other option, when insurance won't cover something) a boob job, or a face lift or an appendectomy, but not a lap band.

The Crazy

This was a PostSecret this week:

It never occurred to me before, but now I'm wondering if it's like this for the people I love, and the people who love me. Something to bring up in therapy.

Life List Updates

It's time to update the life list again. In one month, I'll be 30. Nobody cares (except me) because everything happens in May, and there's too much other stuff to pay attention to. One of the things on my list was "have a fabulous 30th birthday party," but it looks like that's not going to happen, so I'm going to take that off. I'm also adding a few new things and crossing off the things I've gotten done since the last update.

Develop a signature style  Hippie chick is here to stay.
Go to a fancy spa and get the works
Visit the Winchester Mystery House
Get perfect porcelain veneers  2/14/11
Work on a political campaign
Find just the right perfume Marc Jacobs Daisy and DKNY Delicious
Learn to like coffee
Live through a moment when real history is made  11/4/2008
Take my nieces to Europe
See Willie Nelson in concert
Win a hand of Blackjack in Vegas
Learn to make activated charcoal soap
Live in a blue state
Go on a cruise
Get meaningful words tattooed on my body
Attend Carnaval in Brazil
Bask in the sun on a beautiful beach
Have a drink named after me
Hold a human heart in my hands
Direct a musical Annie, July 2000
Own a professional grade camera
Learn to take really good pictures
Learn to make Nan's cherry cobbler 3/2011
Have a llama and a donkey as pets
Learn to make margaritas from scratch
Get asked to dance by a stranger 12/2010
Go on a real honeymoon
Throw a rockin' Halloween party
Personalize my own nail polish color It's called "Naked Fairy!"
Go to Disneyland
Go to the Tony awards
Hit 50 thousand visitors on my blog
Sing karaoke 5/2010
Ice skate in Rockefeller Center
Go one full year without falling down
Lose 150 pounds
Develop my digital photos
Own a Mac, see what the fuss is about (The iPhone counts)
Get a professional bikini wax Ow. Ow. Ow.
Read all of Ovid's Metamorphoses
Plant and grow strawberries without killing them
Own a hybrid (or fully electric) vehicle
Get rid of everything that I don't actually wear
Visit Monaco
Hold hands with Neil Patrick Harris
Start a collection Magic wands!
Purchase designer sunglasses 1/2010
Avoid losing designer sunglasses 2 full years!
Learn about my great-grandparents
Visit Salem at Halloween
See the Birth of a Baby
Live in France for a year
Find the courage to jump into the unknown (literally or figuratively)
Learn to make a really fancy dessert
Host a holiday dinner at my house
Catch Fireflies in a Jar
Learn to pair wine with food
Have a fabulous 30th birthday party Ran out of time.
Sit in on an autopsy
Sit on a jury
Visit India during Holi
Be part of a flash mob
Learn to ballroom dance
Take a pole dancing class

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